Why do cheaters and liars don't let you go, why do they keep stopping you?

[Rose_84]

They try and keep coming back.

You confront them that their words don't match their actions, then they rationalize it and try to convince you they love you and can't stay happy without you.

You tell them how you don't trust them and what you saw.

Still they justify it, say that it was nothing special and divert the main points.

But they play mind games after seeing how emotional and loyal you are.

Updates

+1 y

They then emotionally manipulate you by mimicking your emotions and MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY for leaving.
They manipulate you to stay.

[quaranta]

This is really really common among cheaters and liars. A person who cheats or lies, by default has a lower perception of you than his. He feels more important and entitled to go out the "contract" the relationship implies, and would go mad if you dare doing the same. Because they don't perceive you in an equal way, they tend to not respect you. Someone who doesn't respect you and doesn't perceive your relevance (and cheats, lies), doesn't mind playing games with your feelings and do push and pull at will. They keep doing whatever they feel, expecting the woman to allow everything and roll with it. The common point between cheating/lying and playing mind games to get you back, is the distorted size of their ego. To understand them, you have to think as pathetically as them. Don't try to give it a sense by expecting they work like you, it's much cheaper than what you think.
They come back because having a committed woman to their side is anyway a safe backup plan for anything: services at home (laundry, food etc), services outside home (bureaucracy, grocery etc), and sex at will, without needing to seduce you again. And it's also a confirmation for their insecurities that they're worthy and needed, important. So they want to keep the benefits of this convenience, with the smallest cost (as in, not even respecting you in return). And because they can't perceive your value as an equally important person, they won't see how this is wrong and detached from the reality.
Further, by leaving them, they will take it like an attack to their value: how comes you dare being independent by your own without their presence? How comes you don't crave their attention back, does it mean they're not important and valuable men anymore? This is their reasoning. He can't accept you can have your own business without being desperate about his absence, because he extended his ego overshadowing yours and is addicted to see you under his control, tied to his ego swingings. Some react with trying to trap you back with lovebombing, some react with violence. They have a distorted perception of people's value and their ego is as big as fragile. I see it mostly like screaming big kids doing caprices, no matter the "authority" they have and I always found it pathetic. No woman should reward such ridiculous dynamics by allowing them back. They will not change, they can't change when they are adults with such problems, cheaters will keep cheating with their new partners at some point, and will try everything to impose their "norm", until they find a woman who allows all of that. The more you "believe" them and go back with them, the more you reward and reinforce their sick games, lowering your value again.
The good news is that there are many men who are not like this, and who have their shit together when it comes to maturity.

[Rose_84]

Thank you so much. I needed to hear this.

[Rose_84]

Now his closest friend messaged me and wants to make me go back to him. I didn't responded so now this cheater posted : "If someone is being nasty to you try love and if it doesn't work, distance yourself"
.. he posted as if I was the one who was being nasty by simply distancing myself. This shows how badly his ego got hurt.

[quaranta]

Yeah that's exact, now he is playing the victim role trying to manipulate you with guilt, as always probably. It's his weapon to "fix" things, the way he wants... I'm really not surprised.

[Rose_84]

Yes and now again he called me so many times and messaged me from another account. He lacks genuine, financially stable, cute and interesting girls from his life so he has no better option other than me...

[ohsheeT]

I think for most of them because they don't want anybody else to know that they're parents and friends. And her parents to know who they really are... A cheater and liar and if they are gone people have to ask what went on what went wrong.. how come you guys broke up and somebody has to be honest he was a cheater or liar

And then the new person they cheated with don't want them they just wanted a fling with them. So now they want to come back because they have no place to go.

[Passing_by]

Because that's what it is at the end of the day: manipulation. It really made think what's even the motive behind all that. Why don't just be honest and save complications in both you and your partner's life? Turns out that they just do it for sex, trying 'accomplishing' something because somewhere they're too insecure themselves that doing such acts helps them feel better.

Hope I was able to explain myself properly :D

[Guardian45]

Yup!

[Guardian45]

It's what they do. Stop falling for it.

[Rose_84]

True. One time they post sad status but when they see you are firm with your decision, they put something else and delete all those posts they dedicated to you. It's really sad.

[Guardian45]

Don't give into emotional blackmail