I want to break up with my abusive girlfriend, but she won't let me leave. How do I go about it?

[Anonymous]

Hi all, so if you saw my original question (thank you for your advice by the way), I have an abusive relationship with my girlfriend of years. She gets physically violent when we argue. Yesterday I sat her down at her house and told her I want to break up and explained all my reasons why, and that I still care for her and hope everything works out for her even though it didn't work out with us.

But she then started crying and sobbing, and snatched my house-keys away from me and physically wouldn't let me have them back. When I went to the front door, she blocked the doorway and wouldn't move until I agreed to go back to her room. I couldn't move her away, obviously, as that would constitute physical violence. She's taken my phone before when we fought, so I know she thinks this is normal.

She works from home as well so I can't break up by text while she's at work. I feel it would be cruel to just break up by text after so many years with her. How do I break up with her when she won't let me go?

[William7489]

I think what you’re trying to say is that she is making it hard for you to leave. She cannot prevent you from leaving. She’s manipulating you with her emotions and her behavior. Contact a few friends and family, plan out what you wanna do ahead of time, and have everybody come over And have a sit down where you explain that it’s over. She’ll be less likely to act out in a group. Make your move then. Get out. I had a very abusive ex once and it was very dangerous. I even got the police involved. Do not let it escalate, let people know who you trust about the situation and enlist their help. Talk to her family as well. The main thing to do is don’t look for excuses why are you cannot do some thing and look for innovative ways why you can. It’s not healthy for you or her. You need to find a way out

[Anonymous]

What is your living situation? Do you share a home/apartment with her?

[Asker]

Hi. Thanks. I spend/spent most of my time living with her and her family. So I technically don't own a house with her, but I practically moved in with them.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh ok, well you're in a difficult situation for sure. But you're doing the right thing by leaving her. I think you just need to be very blunt with her. Good luck.