Boyfriend no longer says 'I love you'?

[Anonymous]

Moved in with my boyfriend in October last year and things were amazing before I moved in. After I did though we started fighting and it felt like we were completely different people. We could barely stand to be around each other. This went on for around two months.

I asked my boyfriend if he still loved me and after a long pause he said he didn't know. Despite the fact we were fighting and things were horrible I still loved and cared about him.
We were so close to breaking up, but decided to give it one last try.
I'm not too sure what's happened but since then we've both made an effort to change our attitudes and for the last two months things have been great. We feel a lot closer and enjoy being around each other. We're also sleeping together (not just next to each other) again.

Since we've been close together again he's never told me how he feels or that he loves me.
He doesn't talk about our future anymore and one time I mentioned 'our future kids' just as a passing comment because I was used to talking that way in the past and he said he doesn't want to talk about kids or our future because we're still building blocks again.
I understand that it takes time to rebuild, but I'm also living with him and I want the person I'm living with to love me. Especially because he seems really happy around me and things feel nice around each other.

Any input or advice on what you would do?

Thanks

[WaterIsland]

It’s been 2 months since you feel like things have been better? Did I understand that correctly?


This is a really tough one. Because on one hand you need to be patient with him. It sounds like he’s put a lot of work in (as have you). Things seem to be improving and it sounds like you both have made incredible progress. But at the same time I completely understand wanting your boyfriend to tell you he loves you when you’ve made a big enough commitment to be living together.


Overall tho, I’d try to give it a bit longer maybe, and then sit down with him and talk about what the next few stepping stones look like. It doesn’t have to be kids and marriage. But talk about how you both feel in the moment, and talk about what the next few stepping stones look like. To you that might be him telling you he loves you. Maybe there is something you can do to show him you’re committed to making it work too. But communication and understanding are both key in a successful relationship and I think that’s what’s required here.


But I’d give it a bit more time first to let him truly settle down and try to put the past behind him.

[Guy13]

Yep, that's why you get married to begin with so that you are forced to work through it all.

[Danny_dan92]

Good thing you moved in. Now you know your relationship isn’t going to last

[Julia1244]

Prob got tired of saying it now