For the guys who have cheated/had an affair and the girls whi have been betrayed?

[Perky88]

My husband of 20 years selpt with someone else then went on to text and phone until I found out.

We split as he decided he wanted to be with her it's been 3 months since I found out and 1 month since they moved in together. We have a child together so have to stay in touch.

The problem is he now sounds like he's rethink everything that has happened and moving in. He says he hasn't got anyone to talk to and I'm worried about him. Any ideas what I can do? I want him to know I'm still here to help and support him

[PrettyPriya]

I would be cautious. While I understand the need to be civil because of your child you have together, it sounds to me that he is starting to regret things and finding out that the grass is not so green on the other side.

He might be at the start of trying to get back together with you. While having parents together is optimal, he did what he did and that cannot be forgiven in my opinion. Cheating is the worst act of betrayal in a relationship. He made his bed, he can lie in it.

Now, I don't see any reason you cannot be supportive. However, you have to be upfront and honest with him that this was his decision and his doing. I would keep the support in the form of 'for your child' and not so much a pity party for him because he now regrets being a dirty cheater.

Also, remember that once a cheater, always a cheater. Those people rarely change. The odds of him doing it again to you are quite high. If you take him back, all he will have learned is that despite his cheating, things will work out for him in the end.

[GreekLorrd]

It's understandable that you want to be supportive of your husband, especially given your history together and the fact that you have a child together. However, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and emotional health in this situation.

It's important to set clear boundaries with your husband and communicate your expectations for your interactions moving forward. While it's okay to be compassionate and supportive, it's also important to protect yourself from any further emotional harm or manipulation.

Consider seeking the support of a therapist or counselor who can help you navigate the complex emotions and dynamics involved in this situation. They can also provide guidance on setting healthy boundaries and communicating effectively with your husband.

Ultimately, it's up to your husband to take responsibility for his actions and work to repair the damage he has caused in your relationship. While it's understandable to want to help and support him, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and emotional health above all else.

[OfMiceandMen]

He is not yours to support anymore. When he left you for another woman he chose his life and if he has regrets, to bad, so sad.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being civil, but, I wouldn't listen to his problems with other women.

You only have to be sure he is being a good father to your son, nothing more. The worse thing you can do is take him back right now, because he regrets leaving you both, you will be a rebound and he will hurt you again. It also makes for a roller coaster of emotions for your son. He should be your main priority.

[sage2021]

Sounds like he made some bad decisions and wants things back the way they with you and your child. I don't like any child to not have both parents in their life (unless he's mean to you guys).
I think you will have to take things as they come, but you will probably never ever trust him again. He broke the trust.

[richardcory]

My advice is that you think about how you feel about it. NOT how you think you should feel. What I mean by that is that society encourages people to think a certain way in some circumstances, but not everyone feels the same way.

You can be so angry you don't want to talk to him. You can be willing to talk but never get together. You can forgive him. You have full control of how you act. Then tell him - whatever that is

[Sweety_Torneeya]

A man that betrayed you.
A man that left you for other woman.
Is alone now... If you need him or can find other person? If you need him and like him and agree to forgive him then be prepare for the upcoming consequences that he is not trustworthy any more. If you want to make your life terrible again or want to move on

[Iron_Man]

I don’t cheat

[In_Trance]

Talk to him about it