Could you forgive getting cheated on?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Unpopular opinion but I could forgive getting cheated on, depending on the circumstances.

Obviously she'll be sleeping on the couch (if not on the carpet) for months, and she'd have to do the bulk of the job to win me back, and at the first misstep she's out on her butt. But I would be willing to try to forgive - of course I wouldn't forget, and if it happens again she'll be out on her butt before she can even blink.

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes, I could forgive it, meaning that I would not go through the rest of my life in a perpetual state of anger about what has happened. That would hurt me, not the woman who cheated on me.

However, I could not and would not forget it. Perhaps this is childish, but I begin a relationship with an assumption that my partner is trustworthy, but I remain en garde until we get well established and she has confirmed that she is trustworthy. At that point, I give her absolute trust. I will not be blind to warning signs that might present themselves, but I don't spend time looking for trouble, wanting to see her phone, emails, etc.

Once that trust is violated, she will never be able to regain my absolute trust. Never. The memories would always be close to the surface and perhaps I would start seeing monsters in every shadow. That sounds unpleasant to me.

I have been cheated on twice. I dated Evelyn in 1980 and was getting serious about her when she confessed to me that she had cheated once. I didn't immediately break up with her but I did stop considering her as anything other than a female partner for sex when I wanted it. In retrospect, that was not a good response, but I have learned many lessons since then.

I married Pat in 2005. I ignored warning signs and should not have married her. I thought the marriage was good for about 18 months, but then I got laid off from my job and she announced there was no reason for her to stay with me. We continued living together for perhaps two months, then separated and divorced a few months later. In the process of the divorce, I learned that she had cheated on me three or four months earlier when she returned to her hometown for a visit. The divorce was already in process when I learned about the cheating.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I'm sorry you had to go through that, and I hope you will never have to go through those things again.

I got cheated on once by a girlfriend whom I was already done with, so it didn't hurt that much and it only gave me more reason to drop her.

Monika also had a short fling back when we were on break, separate beds and practically roommates. I never considered this cheating because at the time we were broken up with the entendre we could see other people.
She still felt this was cheating on her part, so she spent a good period making up for it and although I had let her known I didn't see this as cheating, eventually I relented because even gently turning down her efforts made her think I was done with her.

Of course, if something like that happens now, it's a different story.

[1ash-Silver]

I would forgive her but she would be out of my life after that because no one deserves that. This is not about forgiveness , it's easier to forgive than it is to accept that you were cheated on. Men have status, we are proud by nature and to be cheated on is undignified. I can only imagine the questions that you would ask yourself, like why did she do that?, what did I not do?, what makes him so much better than me?, was she prone to cheating? , what are friends and family going to say? and what was thinking when she was busy with another man? I would try understand, ask her , she would explain but it would just not reach me. I never had a woman in my life so I'm saving myself for marriage and this means I would be very heartsick.

You know when you're awesome it's like the first thing you are going to assume is this guy is a jerk so she did not just drop you but she dropped standards. I know for a fact I would not cheat on someone therefore it would be very difficult for me to deal with it.

[serious_miss419]

Over time I did yes.
But I’m a different person because of it.


He was my first love and my first time having sex. He also gave me an STD I have forever.


It shapes how I enter potential relationships which I’ve steered away from because I’ve had the worst of it already on my first round of any relationship.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I'm sorry you had to go through that.
If that happened to me, I'd ask immediately for an STD test and afterwards, if we'll even have sex, I'd do it with an hazmat suit on.

[serious_miss419]

I was obviously young and uneducated about sex. I can’t blame anyone but I surely don’t have any interest in it now. I’ve clearly had the worst of it in my first go at it. No point in it now

[Apple1996]

Wow couch or carpet? That's too nice. My husband would be sleeping in the back yard and wearing a shock collar like a dog if he cheated and I took him back 😂

And honestly its 50/50 for me. I might take him back depending on the situation

[Kelly6]

@Apple1996
thats very hard lol

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

@Apple1996 well, my dog pen would be more fitting in that case, but she has a phobia of dogs (my dogs reside on a separate property) so I'm not that cruel.

[Kelly6]

@Sun_Kim-Ai
good to hear that

[Apple1996]

Haha me and your wife would get along. I also don't like dogs

[Apple1996]

@Kelly6 not hard enough. He'd have a shock collar around his neck and dick

[Kelly6]

@Apple1996
you sound like someone who works in torture chambers lol

[Jamie05rhs]

@Apple1996 I fully agree with you. And I can only justify taking him back based on the kids.

[Apple1996]

@Jamie05rhs exactly if we didn't have kids I'd be out but I'd rather stay and acutally make him be a accountable father

[Jamie05rhs]

Right. I understand.

[Hawkes_Lady]

No, I will not forgive, nor will I forget. A leopard can't change its spots. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

[NathanDavis]

forgive, yes... I would forgive and move on, because I would not want to harbor any resentment or hatred within me, that's only going to harm myself

so... no thanks, I very much rather forgive and to move on

however, this would not mean that I would continue to be in such relationship, that still ends right there

[admles]

Forgive and continue a relationship? No, never. An ex cheated, wanted me to forgive her and let it slide but I refused - cheating is a zero tolerance policy act, and it took me many years to forgive her, for my own benefit.

Forgiving is for yourself, no one else.

[Anonymous]

By forgive, do you mean staying with her after she cheated? If so, then absolutely not. I've been cheated on by two different women and that's a pain I never want to experience again. Any woman that does that to a man is garbage and doesn't deserve to be with him.

[LeeVan]

I would cut things off immediately. Most likely I'd forget her before I forgive her.

Maybe I could forgive her in time but I'd never take her back or talk to her again.

[exitseven]

when I was younger I would have said "No Way" , Now I think that there might be certain circumstances that I would. Maybe one time only.

[Rosieisred]

Been there done that, same thing happened again, funny that. Once bitten, twice kicked her out.

[Fireguy17]

I really haven't yet. I have gotten over it and moved on but neither one of them has ever apologized to me for doing that.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

As for me I could forgive but I will not forget & as for me I’ll say farewell to the cheater.

[billmunch]

I can easily forgive being cheated on. That's never been a deal breaker for me

[douride2]

Cheating is unforgivable. He would be out of my life forever.

[KatherineJ]

No, but I would get over it after the divorce was final.

[LiamJHayden]

I forgive it, but forgiveness does not necessitate restoring the romantic part of the relationship.

[Crankor]

Nope, if she's to chicken to speak her mind beforehand then there's no point. Plus is changes the dynamic if the relationship

[KrakenAttackin]

No. The thought of another man grinding away on her while she is loving it,. is inescapable.

[Jaylove13]

I could as long as she come to me and confessed it and I didn't have to find out from anybody else or later on down the road

[Anonymous]

I could forgive if she came clean on her own and didn't make any excuses, but I wouldn't stay with her.

[Unit1]

So I can get cheated on again?

No way.

Forgiving being cheated on is for the cucks.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

No, relationship done.

[Jamie05rhs]

Hell no. ZERO tolerance.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Yes but I wouldn't be with her anymore.

[Kelly6]

yes i could forgive

[Agape93]

Not a goddamn chance

[BButterfly]

No way!!

[Billlewis]

No one would ever cheat on you, anyway... because you're too gorgeous for them to even think about it... lol

[BButterfly]

@Billlewis thanks

[Billlewis]

You're welcome, Goddess ❤️ I just started following you and I'd be honored if you'd like to follow me as well, if that's alright. Thank you very much.

[Bigjake1995]

Maybe