Guys, how would you feel if you learned your wife cheated on you... and then found out it was with another woman?

Break Up & Divorce
Assume you had thought your wife was straight. Would you react any differently than if it was with a man? Would you be relieved? Would you feel more inclined to forgive her, and would you possibly find it hot? Or would you be just as angry, if not more so because she hid her attraction to women from you? This kind of thing happened in a movie I watched recently. The wife came home late one night, her husband didn't beat around the bush and was waiting for her, and he asked her who she was with. She let it be known she was with somebody else, without revealing that it was a girl, and he was rightly pissed off. They were planning on getting a divorce, she was kicked out of the house, etc.. And then a few days later they met up because she wanted to explain everything. She told him it was with a girl, and his anger just evaporated. She was instantaneously forgiven, and I believe it actually turned him on, because they shared a pretty passionate kiss after that. I was completely baffled. I mean, I know a lot men are really into the girl on girl thing, but it's shocking to me that such a blatant display of disloyalty and untrustworthiness could be excused. Regardless of who it was with, regardless of why she did it, she still cheated on you. Really curious about this. Guys, how would you feel if you learned your wife cheated on you... and then found out it was with another woman?
  • I would be even more angry than I would be if she had slept with another man.
    Vote A
  • I would be somewhat relieved, and less angry than I would be if she had slept with another man.
    Vote B
  • I would be just as angry as I would be if she had slept with another man.
    Vote C
  • I wouldn't be angry at all. In fact, I'd find it incredibly hot and want to join in.
    Vote D
  • Other/Results
    Vote E
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Guys, how would you feel if you learned your wife cheated on you... and then found out it was with another woman?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I'm weird, i'd still be VERY angry if it was another woman but with another man i'd be even more fucking annoyed.

    It's nothing to do with "fetishising lesbians" it's mainly that, I have a cock, was I not enough for her? Why did she need another man? Yet I don't have a vagina, so another woman would make me not as angry.

    I'd still be fuckin' pissed tho

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    • Ah lol, you're not weird. A lot of guys said pretty much the same thing you did.

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  • Men have an inferiority complex, so if you cheated with another guy, he instantly thinks in his brain "What's wrong about me that she would even want to desire someone else? Am I not satisfying her ever need? Can she not live without me? Does she not love me anymore? Have I become too fat, or boring, or bad in bed, or can't support her financially enough to her accustomed lifestyle? If she's found someone 'better' than me... does that mean she ever really loved me to begin with?". When you cheated on when a female, there is no really any inferiority complex because they don't have what we have and vice versa so there's not much to compare it to. It's much more about YOU wanting to be with a female vs a man being able to satisfy you. So that takes a massive relief off of us. We're still hurt you cheated on us and wondered why with a woman, however then we realize that as long as it was a temporary fun thing, we'd be into it as long as we can join in every time. I think it's the knowing about each time and bring involved with that makes a significant difference. Don't ever ask us though for it to be with another guy or we'll flip a lid and would probably leave you forever just for asking the question.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • If I found out a girlfriend messed with anyone guy or girl were done and if it was with a guy or girl I’d be crushed I don’t share lovers not my thing. I’m loyal I don’t cheat couldn’t.

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  • Okay let's turn this question around.
    If I found out that my husband had cheated on me with a man I would be pissed devastated and confused.
    I found out that an ex-boyfriend of mine decided that he didn't like girls after all.
    I was pretty shocked 😱

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    • Yeah, I suppose that would be upsetting... I see your point there

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    • Well, the good thing is that it was in the past, you're in a great marriage and no-one is cheating :-)

      Reply

    • that's it 👍

      Reply

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 38

  • My wife had a fling with another woman and it didn't bother me because i knew who she was coming home to. It became a problem when the other woman started trying to cause fights between us. After that i said she had to go and if my wife wanted to have the freeto be with someone else they needed to respect our relationship. She never found anyone else that interested her.

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    • Did she talk it out with you beforehand though? If she did that's an entirely different situation because she had your given consent and she knew you were okay with it. In the scenario I've provided, your wife went behind your back and betrayed your trust.

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    • It makes no sense to me how a betrayal like that could be forgiven. At least she had the decency to tell the truth though.

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    • To me it all came down to the fact that i knew where she was coming home to at night and wanted her to be happy. Nothing was being taken from me but she was getting something that made her happy

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  • Instinctually it's hard for a man to see a woman as a sexual competitor.
    If I marry someone, it's based on trust, and I don't care about the technicality of who she spread her legs for out of marriage, it's over. A cheater doesn't deserve a second chance.

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    • Exactly. Its as if men aren't threatened by ut because they don't view a woman as a threat to their status ever because she isn't your equal. Its the principle of it most of the women who wouldn't see it as cheating would lose their shit if they caught their man fucking another man.

      Reply

  • I still wouldn't forgive her. Even if it was with a girl, she betrayed me and disrespected me by lying and going behind my back.

    However, I would be relieved in a sense. I would no longer feel humiliated and emasculated. Why? Her infidelity can no longer be attributed to my capabilities as a lover. She wanted something that is quite literally impossible for me to provide, to no fault of my own.

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  • Problem is, you can't beat the other person's ass for it... because it's a woman. That would make me even more angry lol

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    • I've never understood the need to beat the other person up anyways. If the other person had no idea the woman they were sleeping with was married, they don't deserve to be harmed by the angry husband. If they knew the whole time though, yeah, they're almost as much of a piece of shit as the cheater herself in my opinion lol.

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    • That's fair lol

      I like your name :)

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    • Thank ya!

      Reply

  • My issue would be that she didn't talk with me about it first and got my consent regardless of gender.
    Honestly I'd probably consent to it with both genders although it would have to be a guy or girl I felt comfortable with and trusted.
    I'd *perhaps* be a bit more selective with guys through.
    If she *did* cheat on me though (have sex or even a relationship behind my back without my consent) then I'd be pissed either way.
    It being a girl might help a *tiny* bit in the sense that I might understand why she was reluctant telling me about such mixed feelings about her sexuality if this was the first time she explored bi/gay feelings.
    But it certainly wouldn't make me feel less pissed and quite frankly hurt.

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    • Yeah, I agree. If it's going to happen, she should talk with you and get your consent first. Doing otherwise would be betraying your trust.

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    • Yeah.
      I'd *try* to forgive her.
      But it's kind of hard bouncing back after being hurt like that.
      It's not that I'd stay angry with her.
      We'd probably be friends whatever happens.
      But how do you remain partners when you associate her with that much pain and distrust?

      Reply

  • Cheating is cheating.
    It has nothing to do with it being with a man or a woman, it's about the broken trust and the lack of respect for your partner and the commitment you have with them.

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  • I'd be a little less angry because in my opinion, her cheating with another girl is less "invasive". But I wouldn't be able to trust her again, at the same level as she cheated on me with a man.

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  • On a funny note.. I'd invite the other girl over for dinner.. and we'd have a fun night :)

    No, but seriously - I'm going to clear all these things out with my girl before marriage..(that if she is straight or not)

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  • I caught my wife of 17 years cheating and it was the worse feeling ever. Had she cheated with a woman; I’d be more willing to work things out.

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  • I wouldn't get married but in any romantic relationship cheating is cheating. I despise cheaters and she'd be out the door so fast her head would spin.

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  • I wouldn't be as angry... my disappointment would be that she felt she couldn't talk to me about her curiosity or desire for women, or a woman. As it wasn't a male, it's not like I was being replaced, I suppose.

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  • i would dump her fucking ass. and find someone better

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  • I would be heartbroken, and angry. I would feel betrayed. I couldn’t trust her, the wounds would go very deep.

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  • i would be angry either way and there would be no reconciliation. For cheating, i give no second chances

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  • Mixed. Ok, like you said, I really love lesbians. I would also be into a threesome as well if my wife was ever curious. I am a bit more open minded. As long as everyone is consenting, sex with others isn't cheating. Since I like lesbians, having a wife who is also into girls would actually be an addition or bonus to our sex life. It would be a way for us to enjoy sex more. So I would be excited to know she would be into this. Now, doing this behind my back is wrong and I would consider that cheating. I would be hurt. Also, if she is just interested in same sex experimenting for pure physical fun, then I have no problem, but if she has emotional feelings and is interested in some kind of relationship, then I can't compete with that and it would be just as bad as an affair with another man.

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  • I would be just as angry and would have filed for divorce. She would already know that i hate cheaters and would know that i would hate her.

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    • personally, i would not hate the other person involved. people are people. But she was committed to me and broke that. Regardless of gender of the other person, she would have lost everything she invested in the time with me.

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  • Cheating is cheating even if she had sex with a monkey.

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  • I would still be angry, but probably not as much as if it was with a guy.

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  • Like most guys, I would be less insulted by her going lezbo. I could just tell myself "Obviously she likes pussy, so NO man could satisfy her."

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  • Lesbians cannot engage in a penetrative sex, that is an important psychological distinction.
    Just how kissing might be viewed as less of an offense than sex itself, non-penetrative sex would be viewed as less of an offense than penetrative sex.

    And then there is obviously the feeling of inadequacy that would presumably be less pronounced in this case.

    The one thing I'm interested in is whether the man being bisexual as well would change anything on the situation.
    I think a person who can understand the sexual orientation better would take it more negatively.

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What Girls Said 2

  • That will be gross because your wife is lesbian or bisexual but that is messed up for your wife to cheat on u

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    • Well i font know what to choose im confused with questions like voting sorry

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  • Cheating is a terrible thing it doesn't matter whom they cheat

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