Assume you had thought your wife was straight. Would you react any differently than if it was with a man? Would you be relieved? Would you feel more inclined to forgive her, and would you possibly find it hot? Or would you be just as angry, if not more so because she hid her attraction to women from you? This kind of thing happened in a movie I watched recently. The wife came home late one night, her husband didn't beat around the bush and was waiting for her, and he asked her who she was with. She let it be known she was with somebody else, without revealing that it was a girl, and he was rightly pissed off. They were planning on getting a divorce, she was kicked out of the house, etc.. And then a few days later they met up because she wanted to explain everything. She told him it was with a girl, and his anger just evaporated. She was instantaneously forgiven, and I believe it actually turned him on, because they shared a pretty passionate kiss after that. I was completely baffled. I mean, I know a lot men are really into the girl on girl thing, but it's shocking to me that such a blatant display of disloyalty and untrustworthiness could be excused. Regardless of who it was with, regardless of why she did it, she still cheated on you. Really curious about this.
I would be even more angry than I would be if she had slept with another man.
Vote A
I would be somewhat relieved, and less angry than I would be if she had slept with another man.
Vote B
I would be just as angry as I would be if she had slept with another man.
Vote C
I wouldn't be angry at all. In fact, I'd find it incredibly hot and want to join in.
Men have an inferiority complex, so if you cheated with another guy, he instantly thinks in his brain "What's wrong about me that she would even want to desire someone else? Am I not satisfying her ever need? Can she not live without me? Does she not love me anymore? Have I become too fat, or boring, or bad in bed, or can't support her financially enough to her accustomed lifestyle? If she's found someone 'better' than me... does that mean she ever really loved me to begin with?". When you cheated on when a female, there is no really any inferiority complex because they don't have what we have and vice versa so there's not much to compare it to. It's much more about YOU wanting to be with a female vs a man being able to satisfy you. So that takes a massive relief off of us. We're still hurt you cheated on us and wondered why with a woman, however then we realize that as long as it was a temporary fun thing, we'd be into it as long as we can join in every time. I think it's the knowing about each time and bring involved with that makes a significant difference. Don't ever ask us though for it to be with another guy or we'll flip a lid and would probably leave you forever just for asking the question.
I'm weird, i'd still be VERY angry if it was another woman but with another man i'd be even more fucking annoyed.
It's nothing to do with "fetishising lesbians" it's mainly that, I have a cock, was I not enough for her? Why did she need another man? Yet I don't have a vagina, so another woman would make me not as angry.
Ah lol, you're not weird. A lot of guys said pretty much the same thing you did.
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Goodwifie | 170 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
Guru
+1 y
Okay let's turn this question around. If I found out that my husband had cheated on me with a man I would be pissed devastated and confused. I found out that an ex-boyfriend of mine decided that he didn't like girls after all. I was pretty shocked 😱
most unpleasant part was that he wanted to use me to see if he liked girls, I was only 16 and not ready. Glad that I didn't go there. I found out through a work colleague because she was dating his brother and she showed me photos of a party that the three of them went to.
If I found out a girlfriend messed with anyone guy or girl were done and if it was with a guy or girl I’d be crushed I don’t share lovers not my thing. I’m loyal I don’t cheat couldn’t.
My issue would be that she didn't talk with me about it first and got my consent regardless of gender. Honestly I'd probably consent to it with both genders although it would have to be a guy or girl I felt comfortable with and trusted. I'd *perhaps* be a bit more selective with guys through. If she *did* cheat on me though (have sex or even a relationship behind my back without my consent) then I'd be pissed either way. It being a girl might help a *tiny* bit in the sense that I might understand why she was reluctant telling me about such mixed feelings about her sexuality if this was the first time she explored bi/gay feelings. But it certainly wouldn't make me feel less pissed and quite frankly hurt.
Yeah. I'd *try* to forgive her. But it's kind of hard bouncing back after being hurt like that. It's not that I'd stay angry with her. We'd probably be friends whatever happens. But how do you remain partners when you associate her with that much pain and distrust?
truthbeknown | 460 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
Master
+1 y
Mixed. Ok, like you said, I really love lesbians. I would also be into a threesome as well if my wife was ever curious. I am a bit more open minded. As long as everyone is consenting, sex with others isn't cheating. Since I like lesbians, having a wife who is also into girls would actually be an addition or bonus to our sex life. It would be a way for us to enjoy sex more. So I would be excited to know she would be into this. Now, doing this behind my back is wrong and I would consider that cheating. I would be hurt. Also, if she is just interested in same sex experimenting for pure physical fun, then I have no problem, but if she has emotional feelings and is interested in some kind of relationship, then I can't compete with that and it would be just as bad as an affair with another man.
Lesbians cannot engage in a penetrative sex, that is an important psychological distinction. Just how kissing might be viewed as less of an offense than sex itself, non-penetrative sex would be viewed as less of an offense than penetrative sex.
And then there is obviously the feeling of inadequacy that would presumably be less pronounced in this case.
The one thing I'm interested in is whether the man being bisexual as well would change anything on the situation. I think a person who can understand the sexual orientation better would take it more negatively.
My wife had a fling with another woman and it didn't bother me because i knew who she was coming home to. It became a problem when the other woman started trying to cause fights between us. After that i said she had to go and if my wife wanted to have the freeto be with someone else they needed to respect our relationship. She never found anyone else that interested her.
Did she talk it out with you beforehand though? If she did that's an entirely different situation because she had your given consent and she knew you were okay with it. In the scenario I've provided, your wife went behind your back and betrayed your trust.
No i found out about a week in. I knew tge women was a lesbian and was a roommate of our neighbors. I started questioning why she was suddenly hanging around so much and my wife came clean.
To me it all came down to the fact that i knew where she was coming home to at night and wanted her to be happy. Nothing was being taken from me but she was getting something that made her happy
ShortCircuit | 51 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
Guru
+1 y
I still wouldn't forgive her. Even if it was with a girl, she betrayed me and disrespected me by lying and going behind my back.
However, I would be relieved in a sense. I would no longer feel humiliated and emasculated. Why? Her infidelity can no longer be attributed to my capabilities as a lover. She wanted something that is quite literally impossible for me to provide, to no fault of my own.
Instinctually it's hard for a man to see a woman as a sexual competitor. If I marry someone, it's based on trust, and I don't care about the technicality of who she spread her legs for out of marriage, it's over. A cheater doesn't deserve a second chance.
Exactly. Its as if men aren't threatened by ut because they don't view a woman as a threat to their status ever because she isn't your equal. Its the principle of it most of the women who wouldn't see it as cheating would lose their shit if they caught their man fucking another man.
Atreyu | 64 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
Xper 7
+1 y
Problem is, you can't beat the other person's ass for it... because it's a woman. That would make me even more angry lol
I've never understood the need to beat the other person up anyways. If the other person had no idea the woman they were sleeping with was married, they don't deserve to be harmed by the angry husband. If they knew the whole time though, yeah, they're almost as much of a piece of shit as the cheater herself in my opinion lol.
It's never okay to act irrationally if it means an innocent person gets hurt. If he genuinely had no idea the girl was a married woman, could you imagine how hurt, confused, guilty, and just plan terrible he would feel once he found out? You have to think in the perspective that she played the both of you, and that he could be just as heartbroken as you are. Your wife deserves all of the blame, not an innocent man who just thought he was pursuing a relationship with an available woman.
Cheating is cheating. It has nothing to do with it being with a man or a woman, it's about the broken trust and the lack of respect for your partner and the commitment you have with them.
I'd be a little less angry because in my opinion, her cheating with another girl is less "invasive". But I wouldn't be able to trust her again, at the same level as she cheated on me with a man.
I wouldn't be as angry... my disappointment would be that she felt she couldn't talk to me about her curiosity or desire for women, or a woman. As it wasn't a male, it's not like I was being replaced, I suppose.
My silly male ego I guess! Cheating is cheating but in my twisted head I can tolerate a lesbian affair
Juxtapose | 190 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
Guru
+1 y
I wouldn't get married but in any romantic relationship cheating is cheating. I despise cheaters and she'd be out the door so fast her head would spin.
personally, i would not hate the other person involved. people are people. But she was committed to me and broke that. Regardless of gender of the other person, she would have lost everything she invested in the time with me.
I would be heartbroken, and angry. I would feel betrayed. I couldn’t trust her, the wounds would go very deep.
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Bandit74 | 135 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic.
Master
+1 y
I would still be angry, but probably not as much as if it was with a guy.
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Anonymous
+1 y
i dont care, i would let my wife have orgy with 10 women, as long as there is no other men involved, i am territorial, and if any other her ladies challenge me then she is going down
Exactly. She still betrayed your trust, and I don't think that should be forgiven. Even if you do like the idea of her with another woman, she never talked to you about it and did it behind your back. That's irredeemable in my opinion.
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