My girlfriend called me the N word?

[Anonymous]

I'm black and she's white. We've been together for quite some time and have two kids together. A few months ago during a fight she called me the N word and I've thought about it every day since.
Edit: we were having a fight about taking care of things around the house. At some point our daughter wanted to leave and go to her grandmas (my mom's). Sol decided that we would leave and told my SO that. She told me I wouldn't be able to leave with "her" kid. She said if I left she would call the cops on me. My daughter still wanted to leave and I decided I would rather leave than fight. Daughter and I walked out and she ran out behind me calling me names and the dreaded N word.
It's not something I can cope with or get over. We are at the end of our relationship because of this final straw.
Eventually she apologized, but still had her reasons for saying it and defended her actions.

Break up with her

Try to work things out

[Anonymous]

As a black man myself, I'm sorry to hear that your girlfriend called you the N-word during a fight. This is a deeply hurtful and offensive term that has been used to dehumanize and oppress black people for generations. It's understandable that you are struggling to cope with this and that it has caused significant damage to your relationship.

That ain’t cool man and for you to call u the n word, you shouldn’t be with her regardless of whatever reasons she have because that’s way too far and should never go that far to call u out calling u the n word.

It's important to remember that racism is never acceptable and that using racial slurs is a form of verbal abuse. It's not something that can be justified or defended, regardless of the circumstances. While it's good that your girlfriend apologized, it's also important for her to take responsibility for her actions and work to make amends.

It's understandable that you are considering ending the relationship due to this incident. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and to surround yourself with people who respect and support you. If you do decide to continue the relationship, it's important to have a frank and honest conversation about what happened and to establish clear boundaries and expectations moving forward.

Regardless of what you decide to do, it's important to take care of yourself and seek support if needed. This may include talking to a therapist, confiding in trusted friends and family members, or joining a support group for people who have experienced racism or racial trauma.

[EricSummer]

If you have serious difficulties in your relationship then it is possible that you must break up. Best suggest some marriage counseling to help save your marriage.

However, do not blame it on her using the N word. I think that's not a big enough deal to consider breaking up with the mother of your children. She should apologize, but you should also accept her apology.

Incidentally, your children are of mixed race, or in fact "black" by the weird standards of the U. S. race model (like Barack Obama). Surely, she would not like to insult her own children.

[DizzyDesii]

Lmao if only you knew... i promise her having half black children doesn't mean shit when someone snaps like she did. There are actual self hating Uncle Ruckus type black people so her being nonblack and havingg black children definitely does not save her. She sound like one of those “but i havr one black friend so im not racist”. Aight little hoe lmao

[Msputiton]

She a racist and he needs to break up with her and get custody so she don't let her closted racist self take it out on her children, when he ain't around., and yes their are racists who marry outside their race and bully their own children and their spouse.

[Msputiton]

Break up with her.

I dated someone off and on for years. I ignored that they parents were racist, but our last break up, they straight up said. No i see why my parents hate y'all.

Ya girlfriend is a racist. They will always show themselves when we make them mad.

They cover it up, but she got angry and her true racist self came out.

I never once got mad at someone and said let me insult them racially.

Never crosses my mind. Only racists do that.

[AsaKyo]

Your girlfriend sounds crazy and incredibly racist, so I would break up with her and try to get custody of the children

[AyaMya]

Racism is NEVER ok, no matter how mad or upset you are. She could've called you anything under the sun to hurt your feelings in a fit of rage, but resorting to the N word means she has some underlying racist ideologies and that's highly concerning. She's done it once now and thinks apologising gets her off the hook, so will probably do it again because she thinks she got away with it. She ignorantly hasn't realised exactly how detrimental and offensive that is to not only you, but your children.

AND she now knows that it really hurt you, so she's found something to use the next time she has a tantrum to strike you where it hurts.

It's absolutely unacceptable, no matter what and the fact it even crossed her mind is disgusting. She doesn't deserve you and I think it's time to call it quits, personally.

[andreasderjuengere]

What would trouble me here is a lack of respectful choice of words.

Which could be a signal for an underlying emotional conflict.

I highly doubt that she meant it in a 'racist' way - but still...

Sadly, people basically can't change, won't change, or don't try to change.

Looks like a dead end. And as usual, the kids will suffer from it.

[Fuentes]

You can get this from any race although it's mostly prevalent when u date white girls more, they get racial when they get real. angry with you haha I never got this from any Latinas or Azns but I have heard of this more from white girls when they get angry they start saying the N word lol that's your choice on what you wanna do

[DizzyDesii]

And i bet she said it with the hard ER ending huh? Nope nope nope. A baby mama is all she’d ever be. You need to be up and out. Coparenting exists for a reason. That hoe don’t respect you

[JasonDaMan]

I bet u she did too girl, ain’t no way. U know how much us black people been called dat no matter what she was mad bout or whatever, that’s too damn far. he needs get rid of her ass cause dat shit is a no no goin far callin him the n word as a black man … her ass is gone

[DizzyDesii]

@JasonDaMan straight gone, over the rainbow with that hoe

[JasonDaMan]

Damn skippy

[DizzyDesii]

@JasonDaMan omgeee you say damn skippy toooo lol

[JasonDaMan]

Yeaaa done got messed up 😂😂😂

[JasonDaMan]

Got ‘me

[DizzyDesii]

@JasonDaMan lmao hoooow? I looove sayin that 😂

[JasonDaMan]

😂😂😂 because ol girl crazy and done lost her damn mind sayin sun shit like dat cummin out her mouth now let him call ha a cracker than what oh lawd she’d be Pulling some racist cards off her deck to use on his ass … you a white woman and call your supposed to be husband who you love regardless of color the n word, aw shit no. You’d get the piss slapped outta her and guarantee it’d be the last she call a black man one or divorce her and take my kids cause I’d be damned if dat was me

[DizzyDesii]

@JasonDaMan wowh woah calm damn. I had completely changed the topic from his situation 💀

[JasonDaMan]

😂😂😂😂😂😅

[strateguy632]

as a man you be masculine ignore her words. but if a girl got called that it depends if in anger then dump.

[leahzrc]

Seems like she was racist the whole time and you just found out. I am sorry

[zagor]

Did you talk to her about how it feels like more than just a name called in a moment of anger to you, and how it is an insult to a race rather than just an individual?

[SomeoneSimple]

When you’re hurt you say the worst things so that person feels as hurt as you. I doubt she meant it.. she just wanted you to feel pain.

[LavLavLuv]

Break up with her fr