I’m close to giving birth & all alone I’m scared, & want to make the right choice for my baby any advice or help on what to do?

[Anonymous]

Since I was 15/16 I’ve been on & off with a high school ex. We’ve always stayed friends. We’re 30 now but the twist is im 8 months pregnant with his child. We both have daughters by different people. Even they have built a pretty strong bond. He’s had problems with his child’s mother. I hid my whole pregnancy until now, we were broken up for two weeks & they were seen leaving his nephew’s birthday party together. She’s kept his daughter away which is why I hid the pregnancy to protect his relationship with his daughter. & she’s pretty much made his life a living hell & I’ve always been loyal to him up until now. A few days before she would keep messaging me & asked if I was pregnant I did my best to ignore her but after everything I just blew up & said yeah 8 months. Then he told her he didn’t know what I was talking about but has been by my side the whole pregnancy now I don’t want him at the birth or want my son to have anything to do with them until they get their bull together. She was really nasty with me & im not that kind of person. The next day he was saying f her I want to take care of my son. But it was just f my son? It’s been a week & he hasn’t been concerned or anything. His whole family knows. & my baby shower is next weekend. No one has said anything or checked up on the baby or if there’s was anything needed for him. The past 8 months me & my daughter has spent a lot of time with his family & him & his daughter were involved with my family. I feel very betrayed I don't know what to do anymore & I don’t want my kid being treated differently than his daughter. He didn’t even help with the nursery when I would ask. I’m not sure what to do I only have a month left…

[kylee2437]

So I hate to break it to you, but hiding your pregnancy is the main issue here. You did not allow this man to mentally or physically prepare to have another child and meanwhile you think you were trying to create a safe space for his kid , to me it doesn’t seem like that logic is very effective. As much as you think he betrayed you, you have to take accountability of the fact that you weren’t honest for 8 months

[Asker]

No he knew the whole time not the mother of his daughter

[kylee2437]

Ahhh okay gotcha. My advice here is to prepare yourself to be single and focus on your child because you don’t need to go through the stress of him doing what he wants to do regardless of your feelings. One of my close friends had her boyfriend cheat on her, her entire pregnancy and let me tell you, it seemed like pure misery and not worth it.

[Asker]

Yes, I’m definitely single. I was worried about if I should forget the idea of him & his family being involved with my baby.. since the mother of his child does know now I’ve been a lot more happy & posting pictures & getting more excited. It’s just with the baby shower I worry that none of them would show up for my baby after we’ve spent so much time together talking & talking about the baby & what he needs. Like if feels as if none is concerned or cares that there’s a baby coming in a month