Have you ever loved someone but knew that a relationship wouldn't work?

[Anonymous]

I broke up from a 9 year relationship. It was very toxic, on an off engagement. It's been 6 months since we have officially broken up and I truly am fine. I've started to date someone else and I am happier than I can imagine.

However, there is no bad blood between us and it's weird that I still want him in my life, although I would never be in a relationship with him again. Like, I feel like I can still be his friend even though it may not be appropriate considering we were in a 9 year relationship.

Have you ever experienced loving an ex and wanting them in your life but not wanting a relationship?

[RoseySarah]

Yes my first long distance friend!

He was wonderful to be friends with but toxic and I knew it but still I wanted him but so glad nothing came of it.

Your heart will lead you off but your brain knows better. Listen to the voice saying no!

[Gent207-2]

Don't return until half of the total length of the relationship has passed. If you lasted 10 years it's recommended that you wait 5 years at least before re-establishing contact. It's the only way to heal

[Asker]

So even though I wanted to let go and I feel like I’m over him, do you think that I may not necessarily be over him because I still want contact?

[Gent207-2]

Let me ask you
Do certain smells bring back intense memories?
Do certain songs send you down a rabbit hole of memories that result in an uncontrollable urge to relieve those happy moments by going back to him?
If you said yes to ether of these questions
You are not over him

[Asker]

I don't know if it’s good memories. But I do have a certain song that every time I hear it- it reminds me of the worse depression I was in during that time because of him. And if I do think of good towards him- it’s more like “he is a good person” he just wasn’t a good boyfriend.

[Gent207-2]

Seriously don't bring him back into your life or you will regret it

[Hithere4567]

Oh, yes.

[BLP11520]

Yes and it hurt