Why would your ex girlfriend do this...?

[Anonymous]

My ex girlfriend and I had been on and off for the past year. We have been broken up for 2. Well recently I went out with my sister and her friends and pictures were taken. All of the sudden she wants nothing to do with me. I didn't hook up with any of them, period. A month ago she thanked me for being everything I was, everything I've done, how much I mean to her. 2 weeis ago when this happened (the pictures) she told me she wants nothing to do with me and that it won't work. We talked last week and I basically begged her back, she told me no that she didn't want anything now and wasn't looking for a relationship. Well I talked with ehr last night Because I gave her some space, a full week to gather herself. I asked how she was and stuff and then out of no where she told me she likes someone but doesn't know if he likes her back...IN A WEEK? a day? over a weekend you can like someone that much!?!?! why would she tell me this?!?!?!

i couldn't handle it, I broke down in tears, gripping my heart. Asking where I went wrong, why I was never given a true chance to prove myself to her, crying crying and crying. She told me she only wnated to be friends, but I have NO idea why!? I didn't do anything wrong by going out with my sister and the night b4 me and her were so good and everythign was great and normal.

I'm freaking out, I want to die,. literally she took my heart when she told me about this :guy" whyw ould she DO THAT TO ME if I was so close to her and meant so much to her WHY WHY WHY...

the weird thing is I asked for all my stuff back, the picture frame I made her when w ewere on our cruise, the stuffed animals, I jsut wanted everythign gone and to never remember anything from the past because it will make me want to kill myself at how mean she can be but how much she once loved me...she refused to throw them out and said they were hers and she wanted to keep them as I should keep the things she gave me. why the f*** would I do that? why would she want to keep those things, the framed picture of us, the stuffed animals I gave her, the ring, WHY KEEP THAT STUFF!?!?! what does it mean, why doesn't she want to get rid of them, she never had anything of her ex boyfriends yet she wants to keep those things of us...i don't understand, I want to die so freakin bad, I'm hurt, so hurt, lost I ahve no idea what happened I was dropped so quick. All she says is "we'll never happen" yet no reason...maybe I became too clingy or needy? I don't know, I just need some type of encouragement before I do something stupid,. why keep those things? why tell me about the guy? why why why, she knows it would kill her if I did that to her so why do it to me

Updates

+1 y

well the guy is real and I still don't understand why she would tell me that, it makes no sense! FML I need someone who cares...not someone who continually lives in the past!

Updates

+1 y

ok well I actaully joined this site, to get myself out there...im not really looking for anything but just to meet new people. I think I was having such trouble going out and meeting cool people so I decided to start somethign the other day and so far I have like 5-6 people who are interested in meeting me. This will keep my mind off things and help me move on. Thanks everyone for yoru advice! :)

[Anonymous]

"I basically begged her back" - Bad move, cadet.

"i couldn't handle it, I broke down in tears, gripping my heart. " - Worse move.

"Asking where I went wrong, why I was never given a true chance to prove myself to her, crying crying and crying. " - Finishing move. Fatality. Flawless victory to your ex.

You are a wuss. You are not a man. You are a bubbling bag of tears and insecurities, tied together by the flimisiest of womens clothing.

"maybe I became too clingy or needy?" Maybe? MAYBE? Yes, doofus. You did.

Now that the harshness is over, if you're still reading, let's lay some lessons down on you.

She reacted emotionally because she thought you were fooling around with someone else on the side. She may even have made up the story about another guy, just to hurt you.

But the moment you fell spectacularly apart the way you did, she would have backed away slowly, counting her blessings that she got out of this pseudo lesbian relationship when she did.

You are acting like a love sick 13 year old with his first girl friend.

Now, given the demographics on this website, it's possible you're just an emotionally insecure 20 something guy, but still on his first girl friend.

Either way... grow up. You're not the first guy who's had his heart broken, and you won't be the last. You desperately need to get some perspective, and reign in the tears and broken heart stuff. That's fine when you're a teenager and hormones are driving you out of your mind every day. It's definitely not fine when you're in you're 20's.

Why she wants to hold on to your stuff... well, she probably still had some feelings for you.

It's at least possible that she wanted to see you fight for her, demanding to know who this other guy is so you could kick his ass or something, instead you acted like a girl who'd watched her pony being put to sleep.

If she had broken up with you over jealousy, she'd probably be throwing your stuff away.

Telling you about the other guy (if he exists) was probably done initially to hurt you (if the photos had hurt her) or to make you jealous, or to get you to fight for her. Instead you gave her tears to sink the Titanic. And she realized she hadn't been dating a man. She was dating a child. So there's no going back now.

[Asker]

i guess your right, thanks for the wake up call...i always regret what I do in the heat of the moment...she has done way worse to me emotionally tho...im just not in good shape I feel like I've been decapitated starting with the heart...love does crazy things to me...i think she f***ed with me mentally, very bad. I'm not sure ill be able to open myself fully to someone again

[Opinion Owner]

You will. Time heals all things.

[renegadeJ]

Anon knows what’s up.

I’ve been in the same boat myself and made similar moves...total blood bath. But the second I sacked up and brushed myself off, I realized that I was better than that, that I had let this broad gain a foothold in my life, let her take control...

Just gotta remember that if you let someone else start living your life for you, they take every ounce of dignity, honor and pride away from you and make you their pet. Once that happens your relationship is as good as dead.

Don’t be completely discouraged; No, you probably won’t ever get back together with your ex, but that’s not a bad thing. Now that you are single you can start living for yourself without worrying if you are disobeying your “master”.

Cheer up mate, life is too short to spend another second debilitated by depression.

[Asker]

thanks bro

[Sarah01]

Ok take a deep breath. Think about that night out with your sister and her friends slowly. Replay that whole night and then move on to the next day slowly. I know it may seem like you didn't do anything wrong to you but think about your ex and why she would be so upset over that night. Still confused? I have a feeling maybe she was jealous of you going out with your sister and her friends and maybe she was sad or mad or just plain out hurt that she wasn't invited to come with y'all. I think she told you about that new guy to make you jealous or to "get you back" for what you "did" to her. Now why she would want to keep all your things you gave her? She probably wasn't ready to let you go completely or she just wanted to remember all your good times together.

My best suggestion is to call her again. Be calm when you do this. Don't raise your voice at her even if you want to DON'T. Ask her why she wanted to brake up. Tell her no matter what the answer is it'll be Ok, cause it will-trust me I know. You deserve an answer cause its obvious you were/are in pain. You need to tell her that! Tell her that you broke down in tears, that you have no idea what you did wrong, that you wanted to prove yourself to her. Spill your heart out to her. Even if you start crying don't hold those tears back let them pour out of your eyes. Ask the questions you are asking now. "Why are you keeping all those things even if we aren't together anymore?" "Why did you tell me about that new guy you like?" "Did I become to clingy to you or did I seem too needy?" Those are the kind of questions you need to ask her and any others that you need answers to. Remember to keep a sweet tone in your voice and DON'T raise your voice. Doing that will make her mad and most likely make things worse.

I hope I helped some and I hope this works. Good Luck! :)

[Asker]

but if I cry, it'll push her away

[Belgie]

This will not help. Crying and asking why, will just make you look pathetic. Whatever you do, don't do this.

That is what girls do, when a guy dumps them. Sarah is giving you advice that would be suitable if you were a girl, who had been dumped by a guy. Well meaning, but totally wrong IMO.

[Asker]

i didnt...i actaully was going to go over to her place because I was gonna say bye to someone who had been a part of my life for 5-6 years...but instead I went on a date with a girl lmao...i guess I needed attention from someone, not necessarily her...good riddens I deserve better!

[Belgie]

That's fantastic! And good to hear.

[immabossasbch]

she was jealous of those girls in the pictures and probs thought something happened between you and the girls and you were rubbing them in her face, and some shit like that which was she ended things.

im sure all girls know exactly y she said; 'she likes someone but doesn't know if he likes her back'. it was to make u jelly. its the only reason she told YOU of all ppl.

she was angry at u giving her space for a whole week and then just saying 'hey how are you?" out of nowhere! i would be pissed.
imagine this:::

ur bf posts pics with him and other girls that he didn't explain well, you get jealous and he stills has no clue why. u tell him its over to test if actually does want u. he doesn't speak for a wholr week which means he has better things than u. so u say you like someone but doesn't know if he likes u back to pay you back fo what u did, make you jealous as she was. bam, you lost her.

post pics of u having a great fucking time with other chicks with the hashtag #FINALLYlivinglife
shell come crawling

[udolipixie]

1. why keep those things?

She wants to keep them because at a time you were special to her.

Or she's just headf*ckin you lol

^ Seriously sounds like the twist him game..if she didn't break up with you because she jumped to the conclusion you were unfaithful

2. why tell me about the guy?

Make you jealous out of spite

Make you jealous to get you to do something

^ most likely this most girls don't like being looked at as prizes but hey definitely like being one

headf*cking you

3. maybe I became too clingy or needy?

yep the begging tips me off

" I basically begged her back"

^ why would you want a relationship you started by groveling?

[Belgie]

Agreed completely with this.

[Cantremember]

Sorry to hear that.

I can tell you she must have been playing with this thought for a while now. No one just leaves a relationship in a week and finds someone new in a week. She just forgot to tell you.

She told you about the guy to be honest with you (translation: feel better about herself being honest).

She wants to keep your things and wants you to keep hers so she can feel you parted somewhat good. So she can say to herself she tried everything to still be friends. Personally, I feel that's a sh*tty move but some people thing its a good idea. Pick yours.

My advice: don't get bitter over it.

That doesn't mean you have to be all nice about her hooking up with someone else. But if you hold onto this then things will turn for the worse (trust me).

Now, I am not going to tell you to "move on". Because I felt like punching everyone in the face who told me that in that situation. But you need to get away from it and take care of yourself. Get away from her.

We both know that begging her to come back was just out of pain. And that you know that it is over. Even if she came back, nothing would be the same. So don't even go there. I know you will be asking yourself "Why?" for quite a while now. And nothing I can say will really stop you from doing that. But try to think of your future too. Try to rebuild your world. There is nothing wrong with being upset about it. But maybe set yourself a timelimit to deal with it. And then just drop it.

[Anonymous]

Smmm I don't know why she would do this. But the best thing for you to do is to move on. Try your best to take time to get to know yourself. Dont contact her if she is making you sad and upset. She moved on so its time for you to do the same.