Why do some people monkey-branch in relationships?

[Anonymous]

Why do some people "monkey-branch" from relationship to relationship, i. e., they are always in a relationship without taking a break, are never single, and often their new relationship overlaps with their previous one?

Cheating is often involved too, as monkey-branchers often start entertaining the next person emotionally or sexually while still in a relationship with someone else. Then, when they've secured the new person, they break up with the old one and "swing" to the new relationship. Like a monkey securing a new branch to swing to.

What's your view on monkey-branchers?

[DaveJord]

I beleive this type of behavior must steem from some type of insecurity they have about themselves. Because even when they are in a relationship, they are always preparing and looking for thier next relationship. Like they know they will screw it up eventually so they will jump to a new victim before their current one figures it out.

My father in law was like this, married 4 times, but no matter who he was dating at one time, he always immediately jumped to the next woman. He never understood that what only mad his last relationship fail, was how he jumped to the next one. It was his pattern of behavior, not theirs. But then again they both were attracted to each other because they both had some level of crazy to begin with.

Like seriously, all the woman he jumped to all knew he was married and cheating, but they never blamed him for cheating. It like they all beleived that his wife was to blame, and that somehow it would be different with them, because they would treat him right. So these types are just toxic types of people that are drawn to other toxic types. She cheated with him, but can't understand why he would cheat on her? I mean she is a cheater to, why the hell wouldn't he?

It's just a vicious self-defeating circle... eventually they end up alone, broke and snorting cocaine off the thins of some fat chick in the back of a rusted-out RV.

[MrOracle]

It's a combination of being terrified of being alone, coupled with the constant search for a "better deal". Monkey branching is far more common among women but I have seen a few men who do it. Still, it inherently fits right in with female hypergamy - always seeking the better deal.

The problem is that people who do this are looking for the perfect partner - but no such thing exists. Everyone is imperfect, and living with your partner's imperfections is part of what it means to be in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

hey there, i have a friend like this. she has always done this. if she ever gets divorced, i'm afraid of the impending crisis she will have when she's finally alone. she doesn't even really know herself. she absorbs her significant others hobbies/interests and makes it her own because she wants to have something in common with them or to make them stay. one time she was in to football with her ex, i about laughed my ass off. HER? into football? it was so ridiculous. she even got a jersey. that's when i really realized who she was. i've known her for almost 20 years. she has only been single for like maybe a week total since i've known her LOL.

anyways. she has extremely low self esteem. it is why people do this. they don't want to be alone because they've never been alone and they're afraid of themselves because they have no idea who they are without someone attached to them. they find themselves meaningless. to be honest, i think she has borderline personality disorder. but i'm no psychologist. but her sister has thought the same of her. so i hope that gives you some insight. that is what borderline people do.

[Screenwriter]

Serial monogamy? Some folk don't know how to be or live alone. They're not independent. This doesn't bode well for you to be in a relationship with them if you have an ordinary, adult level of independence.

Something's missing in their upbringing, personality or more. Best to find someone else.

[Throwawaynowknow]

Relationships are a transaction where both people are getting what they value enough to remain start and stay in one.

In general, men need less things but place a higher value on those things.

Women require a lot of things and value all of them highly

Men must provide far more to a woman to keep her happy then the reverse.

So circling back to the first point I made about relationships being transactional, they want to maintain as much dividends as possible until they find someone who can provide more

[Throwawaynowknow]

From a purely logical or business sense, it's smart. From the guys perspective when he realizes what just happened, he probably will find it hard to agree though

[jahaims]

Because they aren't mentally/emotionally healthy so they do that to avoid dealing with the issue. They won't admit it to themselves so the cycle keeps going.

[andy530]

Because they are insecurely attached and feel a lot of anxiety when single or alone