Do you think we should change Break Up terminology?

Question

“She left me”

“She dumped me”,

these words make you feel like a victim of some horrible unfair injustice, they make you feel worthless,

why can’t we get rid off these terms and instead change them into the positive terminology?

“We parted”

”She set me free.”

and so on.

Something that doesn’t make us feel as though we are the victims and instead makes us feel that whatever happened is an amazing opportunity for the future.

molonski2 · Accepted Answer

Personally , I do tend to use words like answer B , I just think that makes a lot more sense and is more than likely closer to the truth , these things are never black/white you see people on here all the time with very one sided views " I was dumped by a narcissistic looser " , when you read the tale the person involved was not narcissistic at all , he just decided she wasn't for him ! So thats a crime?

Same thing goes for marriage , yeah yeah it supposed to be for life , but the real chance of this happening , as in " really joyous " , not just coexist because of financials and children is around 5% , so we are yearning this thing that in 95% of cases , will fail , its just a matter of when. Any marriage that lasts 10 years plus ( without domestic violence ) should be celebrated , but the entire system is geared around conflict.

Terms of any break up , should certainly be changed , less adversarial , celebrate , it was good , it happened for a reason.

dynamicyandere · Accepted Answer

I usually use descriptions like, “Things didn’t work out.” Or “We decided to go our separate ways.”

I agree that it would be better for our mental and emotional health if we used more neutral and mutual phrases like that.

BlackBeauty90 · Accepted Answer

@lafemmefatale_1 Why?

By supporting a wrongfully positive ideaology you're going to have people holding on hope that the relationship will get back together.
"We parted" is used in so many other ways "e. g. we parted ways from friends to check out X location" people are gonna be habouring unjust feelings and delusions.

Yes "she dumped me" is tough but it is REALITY. There are NO confused feelings. The relationship is done, over, finished. There's no oh we "parted" and she'll come back some day idiocy.

Rei13 · Accepted Answer

Honestly I always felt like more emotionally mature people used phrases like “we went our separate ways”, “we wanted different things/weren’t compatible”, “it was mutual”. Or something neutral where it isn’t really throwing either person under the bus. Not every failed relationship has a villain and neutral phrases like that aren’t placing the blame on either party.

AviatorTom · Answer

Another attempt at being politically correct... why? If she dumped you, why not just say that, rather than sugar coat it with "It was time for us to move on."?

Summeroflove · Answer

Yeah. People who dump their partners in cruel ways without a good reason. Definitely did a favor. Now kd there was cheating or something I get it.

Breakups are hard and some people can’t see how bad someone was… Until it’s over.

msc545 · Answer

I think we should leave it as is.  It is important that words convey both meaning AND feeling accurately, and those that are dumped often feel victimized and rightfully so.

Lliam · Answer

I usually use the word "separated". It doesn't lay blame or imply victimhood. "Moved on" is another phrase I might use.  I also think dynamicyandere had good suggestions.

ManOnFire · Answer

I suppose it's a nice idea, but for me personally I'm not bothered by saying we broke up, etc. I know that a lot of people don't like saying someone left or dumped them because they're afraid of looking weak to people, or afraid that people will laugh or say they must've been the bad or inadequate partner as the reason why their S/O left them. So I guess for that reason using different terms might be better for some people.

TipsyFr · Answer

You can sugarcoat things all you want, it doesn’t change the fact if you thought everything was going great, you were madly in love and your SO suddenly says we need to talk. You got dumped, if it was mutual then you can say it was mutual. I think we should call a cat, a cat. These terminologies are there to best describe what has happened and help others understand how we feel.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

Because then we are completely ignoring facts and being dishonest if that is on fact what happened.

At the same time, I agree it would be better to re frame the whole victim mentality by looking at it from a positive point. Just don't dismiss the truth.

Guido · Answer

You're right, getting dumped does sound depressing. How about, She put me back on the market.  Or, Performed an overhaul and now looking for an upgraded model.

Jkgordon · Answer

You only are a victim to yourself remember that
You should vm control your happiness don’t wait until the person leaves you or treat you like trash by you writing this you sound pitiful and feeling sorry for yourself you act as though you want a cookie for being an asswioe or dragged through the mud

ohmyguy · Answer

terminology actual fits.. its up. to u on how u classify the situation appropriately

how it actually took place
in person face to face
phone call
text message
informed by friend relative BFF third party
no. reaon. given
some given reason
real. reason
individual interpretation a good thing bad thing how what. effect..

I've been dumped... and broken up. withn.. yes its same thing ultimately.. maturity is the differance

Hanrej · Answer

You don't feel based on your choice of words, your choice of words are based on how you feel.

If you feel worthless that's gonna be reflected in your terminology.

I've used both "she dumped me" and "finally I'm free" depending entirely on how the breakup felt but never have I entertained the thought that I could effect how I feel by my choice of words.

boggboss · Answer

Pretty sure people tend to use those terms when they do feel like the victim not every break up is a positive thing and not every one is a depressing thing why not use both terms depending on the situation

MJtheCoach · Answer

very SIMPLE people NEED TO STOP GOING INTO RELATIONSHIPS unless the plan is to get married. PERIOD! If you're not sure stay as FRIENDS. I'm in my late 30's I never had a single girlF. WTF is the point of a relationship if people aren't sure or ready for marriage? And you become damaged goods with every breakup.

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www:milademjjay. com

Anonymous · Answer

I’ve used phrases like

”she just made a huge mistake ending our relationship.”

”one day she will regret letting me go.”

and

”how can she cut me off from sex? She doesn’t know who I’m getting it from.”

abc3643 · Answer

It doesn't matter what words they are because the bottom line is that you are rejected and that translates into failure and no one likes to fail or be a failure.

exitseven · Answer

Truth is like a dead skunk in the middle of the street, you can walk away from it, but it still stinks.

Fireguy17 · Answer

Call it what you want, for the person receiving the news that the other person no longer has feelings for them and has moved on no matter what you call it, it still sucks.

spartan55 · Answer

I suppose so, but if I told my friends I set my girlfriend free they would look at me like I was a purple space alien.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

No matter how you try to change that, Even if some people are aware of how much of a victim they sound using "he dumped me", they wouldn't care. They're virtual signaling and attention is what they want

katiesmuff · Answer

Wouldn't be anything wrong with that new terminology

lightbulb27 · Answer

Yes… important to frame rhings correctly. Triage the mess produces nee potential

artgorgeous · Answer

No we shouldn't change anything. We must call things by their names.

Jennz6 · Answer

? Maybe we moved on?

Staximus · Answer

"She dumped me" implies that the guy didn't want to break up. "She set me free" implies that he did

DextroShade · Answer

As it is women who end the majority of relationships this sounds like yet another attempt to avoid being held accountable for their decisions.

jimmy2 · Answer

Life is what you make it till something can come out of the blue is arrested, I want a divorce, surprise I am pregnant, a death in the family and so on

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

Nah  I think we should leave as is  Dumped. Is just so clear and to the point

KrakenAttackin · Answer

We shouldn't be afraid of the truth. If she dumped you, she dumped you.

leahzrc · Answer

he dumped me in the toilet but never flushed 😥

justabuddy · Answer

It wouldn't hurt... but changing social norms is not always easy.

Anonymous · Answer

I think you should do whatever makes you feel better. And if someone feeling like a victim makes you feel uncomfortable then avoid that person.

inhua · Answer

that just political correctness

RingOfFire · Answer

The victim mentality is more cathartic.

Sparkie460 · Answer

I say don't try to fix what isn't broken.

In_Trance · Answer

It's a pig with lipstick

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