Are you tainted goods if you've been divorced, or are you looked at as somebody who was brave enough to take a shot at love?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

This depends. There might have been a legitimate reason for it but still it doesn’t come off as a good sign.

I’m realistic at my age that there is more likely change that the single women I encounter could be divorced. So I try to be fair and take things for a grain of salt. I once dated a widow (late husband died in a car accident).

But I had a really brief but very bad experience with a divorced women. She initially claimed that her ex husband was very violent and abusive which I believed. But in reality I think she was a major part of the problem.

She was initially turned on but the got bored with me real quick because I’m a “nice guy”. The disgusting reality is I think a part her missed and actually likes being treated like shit. She will never admit it but she’s the type that subconsciously (or even consciously) wants men to control and beat her.

But she’s a grown ass woman who works in a high level profession. She’s aware the horrifying reality of what it would make her look like (hypocrite) dnshe admitted she secretly liked being treated like that. She’s too scared of her own judgment not to make that seductive mistake again.

But she was also a grown ass woman (year older than me) who still tries to friéndzone nice men who show her interest and assume grown ass men are dumb enough to go along with it. And she did it in the most insulting way possible last time we met up.

So long story short I have no sympathy for what her ex husband did to her because she likely invited it.

AmeerX · Accepted Answer

In my culture, whether man or woman divorced is seen as something of a taint. And I hate it because I had an engagement break up.

Now, honestly I am hesitant to fall in love. I am still a Virgin and don't know, I have lots of heart breaks by now. Sometimes I wonder how ungrateful Westerners are. They can date and fornicate but they don't marry 😔.

I on the other hand wouldn't leave a girl if she was my own choice.

Buzzybee1990 · Accepted Answer

If you've been divorced more than once and you're 30 or under you're probably the problem and not someone I'd take a chance on.

If you have kids from multiple fathers you were with for under five years each, I'm not going to take a chance on you.

If you say that all your exes are crazy or abusive and have no insight on what you did wrong to end relationships, I'm probably not going to date you.

This has more to do with logic and my own personal happiness than "bravery". Anyone can make one mistake, but when it's a pattern in someone's life that they haven't learned from, I'm not going to get involved in their drama.

Love is not enough to make a long term relationship/ life together work. Anyone in a successful one knows this. Those patterns mean it's someone you likely can't grow with because they can't even control themselves or fix issues they have.

Thank goodness I married to the love of my life for over ten years. He had no kids, and no divorces at 27. I had one divorce at 21. We've been together ever since I was 22. I learned from my mistakes what makes a marriage work and it worked like a charm. We are still in love and have always been compatible due to our values and ability to communicate as well as fix our own issues with ourselves. Stay growing and maturing. Don't be a problem member of society.

LazerBean · Accepted Answer

Divorce is a consequence of two damaged people getting married, rather than what damages the people. But I have nothing against two damaged people trying to make things work.

purplepoppy · Answer

If it's a guy I'd assume he was a wife beater or cheated on her.

exitseven · Answer

I dated someone who was divorced. She was really nice but she married right out of high school and then she grew up and her husbab. nd did not

GOLDFISH_smile · Answer

That usually depends on a combination of ur gender, ur status, and how well they know you b4 finding out.

cloud9vortex1234 · Answer

Maybe it just didn't work out. It's possible for people not to be compatible when you thought you were. If I was dating them, then I would be interested in how long they knew them before they got married.

catarecute · Answer

we are not goods we are human beings what kind of question is that. human beings with a soul. we are not dirty old objects that you can call goods.

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

People can change and not always for the better. One could years down the road end up addicted to alcohol, fyt

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Probably both especially depending on the person.. But you have baggage and probably a bit damaged from the relationship and it's end.. But if you have a lot to offer, and live a fulfilling life.. It'll definitely be brave to jump back in..

Jamie05rhs · Answer

You're tainted goods. Because you fucked up. Marriage isn't supposed to be permanent. You don't quit marriage.

And if you chose poorly, that's still your fault for being naive, impulsive, and foolhardy.

Red_Arrow · Answer

Not in my opinion. You were in a relationship that was not working and you left it to get on with your life.

DextroShade · Answer

It really depends on the circumstances of the divorce. If a woman cheats or divorced her husband because she was "bored" or she "wasn't happy" or has kids then she is recreational use only.

Anemone978 · Answer

I think people see you as damaged goods especially if you are a women..

BourbonAndBacon · Answer

Dating was super easy after my divorce. I was definitely hesitant to date someone else divorced though

Redstang88 · Answer

If she’s already divorced at my age, either she’s NUTS or made serious of piss poor decisions. Either way I’m out

msc545 · Answer

You probably should explain what you mean by damaged goods before you start asking questions about it

Radiate143 · Answer

If you're a man you're brave if you are woman you are lower than scum.

Anonymous · Answer

personally i'd never be with a person who was previously married and divorced.

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

Women definitely are but that’s only because time is on mens side

Minahh · Answer

It's okay to divorce if the relationship wasn't working

RoseySarah · Answer

Depends what age the girl is

WhitneySnow · Answer

I would choose the second view

Miristheiss · Answer

It depends on why you divorced.

LivingExample · Answer

Truly NOT tainted goods!

jahaims · Answer

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Are you tainted goods if you've been divorced, or are you looked at as somebody who was brave enough to take a shot at love?

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