Those who’ve dated divorced people: do they tend to be worse at relationships?

Question

I’m looking to hear from people who have experience of dating sometime divorced. Of course we all have ideals, not I’m interested in the real life lived experiences more now.

abc3643 · Accepted Answer

I can't make a universal comment on this, but the last two women I dated were divorcées. I married the second one who was twice divorced before marrying me. Both these women were 42 when I met them. Looking back, I should not have done that. However, I wasn't exactly perfect either. I had just turned 29 when I got my heart devastatingly broken (I never really recovered). So, the first one was a short term LDR with a Canadian woman I met over the web in 1995 when I was 32 almost 33 and she was 41 turning 42. This was my rebound relationship really. It wasn't going to last and didn't. At that point - age 33 - I really should have stopped. However, at work right after that, I did meet a woman much older than me (by 15.5 y) who was also a divorcée but she friendzoned me, so that was out. When our friendship ending, I was 36 and met a lovely young lady of 20 who I could have easily fallen in love with. But, circumstances didn't work out so it never even had a chance to happen. Really, at THAT point, I should have just committed to a life of being single - I was... OK at that point. But, then I met my wife through a business trip. She was attracted to me and me to her, so, in a way it was a lust thing but also a genuine attraction in the other too. We immediately shacked up but that's because of urgent circumstances. This was a tremendous mistake. It was like God was forcing me to take this woman. And so I did. I am not happy. That said, I could be much unhappier. Still, I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I had remained single... I would have been wealthier and less stressed I think.

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

Yup... they're fucked up. I mean think about it... they tried to do it and they just messed it all up. Don't listen to them about how bad the other person was because it takes two to tango and they were a part of that.

You're going to run into all the same patterns of behavior they put out during that prior relationship. So... like with any person... listen to those stories they tell about the dirt they did. But listen with an ear that isn't buying all the bullshit along with what kind of impression they are trying to give.

Did they cheat? Did they do devious shit financially? Be on the lookout for that shit because they'll repeat the same shit.

The woman I got with made him out to be an ultra stupid bad guy that did a bunch of shit... but then she would just tell on herself... cheating, lying, manipulating... it was both of them. My stupid ass just walked into it and I got the same treatment. It wasn't just him... in fact he was probably reacting to a lot of the shit she was doing, just like I started to do.

Just pay real close attention... the dirt they did and just justify it as if it wasn't a big deal... They'll do that shit again.

AviatorTom · Answer

I've dated divorced women. I myself am divorced, and my current SO was divorced. Al of the relationships have been interesting. Nothing different from single people.

fyrds · Answer

No, I think better. They've been through the pain of divorce, and are choosing to be in this new relationship. They're also more realistic about expectations of each other. I think it's a positive thing, because (in my experience) there's better communication and openness to talk about problems in the relationship early.

exitseven · Answer

I did date somebody who was divorced. I never really thought too much about it. She did not talk about her ex very much except that she put him through college and then he wanted a divorce. One night I was having dinner at her place and the husband came by and stsrted baning on the door. She told me not to answer the door but he kept bnging and I said that I would go out and tell him to scram. She just said that we should pretend nobody was home and he would go away. I told her both out cars were in the driveway and we would not fool him. But after a while he did leave. I thought she was very nice. We bot hfound other people and just remined friends for a while.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

I have never related the ''divorce'' question to someone with relationship issues (or the absence of it)

Some guys have the talents, but they experienced difficult (adverse?) circumstances - and others don't have the talents.

Out of the few 'relationships' I had that ''failed'' the reasons for ending it had nothing to do with being divorced or not. They ''failed'' because of me making a bad choice.

( Or... HER, that is, heh heh 😜)

DarkWinterNights · Answer

It’s usually not worth the extra drama, especially if baby daddies are involved.

slatyb · Answer

Not necessarily. Some perfectly nice people get into relationships with people who are not so nice.

dudeinohio · Answer

No different than any other person. Perhaps more cautious

Celticwolf78 · Answer

Nothing wrong with them they know what they want and are can see it clearer

Anonymous · Answer

If they learned NOTHING from thier marriage. Some people don't learn or learn very slowly.

Those who’ve dated divorced people: do they tend to be worse at relationships?

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Those who’ve dated divorced people: do they tend to be worse at relationships?

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