Is getting divorced when you have children a trashy thing to do?

[Anonymous]

Especially if one party is cheating or leaving the relationship to be with another person? I don’t have a good opinion of people like this.

[Oliverlogan263]

Man, that's a tough situation. Divorce is never easy, especially when kids are involved. As for whether it's "trashy," that's kinda subjective I guess.

On the one hand, breaking up a family isn't ideal. And cheating or leaving for someone else definitely doesn't look good.

But at the same time, sometimes relationships just don't work out even if there are kids. And staying in a unhappy marriage probably wouldn't be great for the kids either.

I think what matters most is how the parents handle things after. If they can still cooperate and both be there for the kids, that's best case scenario. But if one parent is super petty and vindictive, then yeah maybe that reflects poorly on them.

Overall there's usually no simple answers with this type of stuff. Kids get hurt either way. The parents just gotta do right by the kids as much as they can going forward, even if it doesn't work out between them. As long as that's the priority, that's what really counts I think.

[madhatters4]

i don't think getting divorced is trashy. i don't necessarily think getting divorced if you have kids is trashy. it is worse to raise children in a home with parents who can't effectively get along and parent than to get a divorce and have children in a happy nurturing household

[provokeesmokee]

No, not necessarily. Sometimes it's the best thing you can do for your kids.

I wish my dad divorced his wife. Our life if he'd had that courage would've been way happier, healthier, safer, and wealthier.

I wish he would focus on his own happiness instead of the religious "until death do you part" nonsense.

He ruined his health, life, and all relationships (he's not allowed friends and had to fight for decades to be allowed to see his family) because religion trapped him.

[Asker]

You sound like you have very left wing views of the world. It’s pretty trashy to get divorced for reasons of infidelity, finding a more attractive partner you will be more happy with.

[provokeesmokee]

Lol, she never cheated on him. She was just abusive and had unmanaged mental health issues.

It's trashy to stay with someone bad for you because of, what, religion?

[Asker]

Because sex doesn’t really have value once you’ve done it too much. Divorce with children involved doesn’t just change the lives of the husband and wife and changed the lives of the grandparents, aunts, cousins, friends, teachers, babysitters, everyone over something that is not important (sex).

[Asker]

It* sorry I’m outside writing this.

[provokeesmokee]

So abuse and mistreatment are totally fine with you. Cool. Yeah, your opinion doesn't matter to me as someone who's seen what happens when victims stay with abusers.

Peace, bud. Have fun with your black and white world view. Totally won't cause you problems.

[Asker]

I’m saying divorce for infidelity, that’s what I mean by “sex” not domestic abuse.

[Asker]

I think that’s still trashy to abuse your spouse but that wasn’t what I meant.

[IslaTheWitch]

If there is no love, staying together hurts everyone, including kids.

Divorce is a good solution, but it must be done right.
1. No fight for kids. Kids need love and time from both parents, so make an agreement and stick to it.
2. Don't say bad things about another parent to kids.
3. Have respect to kids feelings.

[Asker]

What if there is love but one partner found someone more attractive?

[IslaTheWitch]

So there is no love, right? At least on one side.

[Asker]

I don’t think that’s ok to do to the kids. If there isn’t any children I don’t really care but someone cheating especially a woman with kids cheating on the father of the children is just as trashy as selling your body at the truck-stop to me?

[IslaTheWitch]

Why cheating? We speak about divorce, right?

Let's consider the kids' perspective. Kids like to have a stable and predictable environment. It's great if their parents love each other and can discuss their problems.

But if there is no more love between parents (and it's enough if only one parent is done with the relationship), it's better for kids if parents divorce before they start to fight at home. A peaceful divorce can be a great lesson for kids, much better than endless fights.

If one parent finds a new partner, children are learning a new skill: acceptance. This is a person chosen by their parent, not themselves, and they have to learn how to talk about and cope with their own emotions.

[Asker]

That’s all BS acceptance is bad. I think in some cases divorce isn’t trashy but in especially the case of infidelity and especially a woman cheating it’s trashy.

[IslaTheWitch]

If any partner is cheating it's trashy

[Asker]

I agree.

[midnightmoon05]

Divorces/cheating are for immature and selfish people. The kids involve are the long term victims.
adults can do a lot to keep the love together or break things.

[jahaims]

What is selfish and immature about leaving a partner that is abusive?

[Asker]

@jahaims that’s a different a story, I mean in the case of infidelity.

[jahaims]

She said divorces are selfish and immature. That is an absolute statement. So my question still stands.

[Asker]

@jahaims I think most of the time it is, only 24% of divorces include any form of domestic violence, or abusive behavior. Abuse, and the case of a spouse becoming incarcerated, are rare thankfully, and much different stories than most divorces.

[midnightmoon05]

It’s easy to point fingers. It always take 2!

[jahaims]

Are you too stupid to answer a question, or are you avoiding it because you know you made a moronic statement?

[midnightmoon05]

@jahaims it’s selfish and immature to deal with issues as adults. I answered you!
Like all the selfish cheaters… always pointing finger at one person… nowadays.. no one wants to take responsibilities or admit that they gave the power to learn, grow. The east way out is to blame and leave. Very immature and absurd.

[LazerBean]

Divorce in general is trashy

[leahzrc]

My dad did it