Marriage and family problems?

[Anonymous]

My wife’s daughter has told her family that I’m abusing my wife because I refused to buy another engagement ring along with other demands her family have made regarding finances. My wife’s moods have been up and down for the last 8 months to the point that she keeps saying she is leaving and that I will pay for what I’m supposed to of done. I have been accused of not supporting my wife and step daughter yet I’m the one that pays for 90% of things, run everyone about and have let the cousin life with us for nothing because she can’t afford a place of her own. I lent her sister £1k for a visa that has now been changed to a wedding and another family member £500 because she has just moved to the UK. Now I put a roof over their heads, pay for all the shopping, the bills, transport, schooling costs etc. during this time I’ve been told that she wants a divorce, she doesn’t want the relationship ship. I do have to admit that recently I have distanced myself from my wife when her mood changes. I have also said to her that if she wants to leave the take everyone with her. I have also said next time she says she’s leaving she will leave.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang dude, that's a tough situation you're in. It sounds like there's a lot of drama and tension going on with your wife's family putting pressure on both of you. A few thoughts:

- The accusations of abuse are seriously messed up. You don't deserve false allegations like that.

- It's unfair they keep demanding more money from you when you already support everyone financially. That would strain any relationship.

- Your wife's mood swings and hot-cold behavior on the marriage has to be really hard to deal with too. No one can blame you for distancing yourself some.

- But threatening divorce back and saying to take everyone with her if she leaves isn't the best approach either. Might make things worse.

My advice would be have a calm talk with just your wife, without the interfering family around. Reassure your commitment but also set clear boundaries - you can't keep being treated that way or take responsibility for her whole family's issues. Couples counseling could help too if she's willing. Gotta work as a team or it won't last. Hopefully you can both compromise and get through this rough patch bro.

[OlderAndWiser]

Why do you stay with her?

[LazerBean]

What is the question?

[jahaims]

They are all using you. Move on.