Marriageadvice?

[Anonymous]

I have a small issue if it could be small. Listen I know sex isn't the most important thing in a marriage. We are good on the emotional aspect of our marriage, except what is going on now. We have sex like once a month, this goes on for months at a time and then I say something and then he's like okay and we do it a couple of times in one week and then it goes back to the same thing until I say something again. I'm tired of it, it's been going on for years. What else do I do? I have needs and they aren't being met. Like I just need it like a couple times a week and it's not like it'll last more than 30 min but like I don't know is it too much to ask? It's not like I'm asking for it everyday. It's starting to make me angry and I'm just so upset by it and it's not like I haven't actually talked about it. I don't beat around the bush. Oh guess what else. We have an open marriage as well. You wanna know who wanted it? Guess. Not Me, he asked me like 2 years ago and I didn't like the idea but then I agreed and we've been open ever since. I never really talked to anyone else except for him cause I really love him a lot and I only want him, but lately I'm kind of over it and I've met one guy and it was okay, I cried after cause it wasn't my husband and I only wanted him that was like 8 months ago. I don't know what to do I felt like I've done everything. I need advice please...

[Oliverlogan263]

Sista, I feel your frustration deeply here. Seems like you've done everything you can to communicate your needs to him clearly and lovingly, without results. A few thoughts:

- When you guys talk again, don't just address the frequency issue - dig deeper into why he's losing interest. His responses may provide insight.

- Couples counseling could help if he's willing. A third party mediator can help you both express feelings in a safe space.

- If he refuses counseling, you might suggest a trial separation so he understands how serious this is. Absence sometimes wakes folks up.

- Not saying divorce is the answer right away, but don't stay stuck forever feeling unfulfilled either. You gotta take care of yourself.

- As for the open relationship, if that's not truly working for you either, it may be time to revisit that agreement as well. Your comfort matters.

Stay hopeful sis, but also be willing to stand up for your needs if real change doesn't happen. You both deserve to feel satisfied and connected in your marriage. Keep communicating your heart with care, wisdom and honesty. This too shall pass - sending you strength!

[RavVid]

You do have substantial problems. I'm surprised at the low frequency of sex. You say years so I presume it predates marriage. Usually guys want as much as they can get and it is not as if you are declining.

As it is open, is he having a lot of sex with other girls? More interested in other girls than you? I think this is the crux. I don't understand it. Sorry to say he seems to be less interested in you.

At times you have sex multiple times a week so he is capable. Obviously you want him to want to have sex with you.

I don't have any advice I can give but if I have misunderstood circumstances please correct me.

[DishLady]

"Open relationship" is just another outlet for activity that would be considered cheating, tbh, so I would have cried too, even just from the jerk asking for it to be an open relationship...

You should tell him you want a REALLY open relationship and set down divorce papers. He sounds like a jerk. But if you want to work things out with him, I'd suggest couples therapy bc he's clearly lost his sexual interest in you and is getting it from somewhere else.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the choppy waters of love and intimacy, aren't we? Let's throw in some sparkles of advice, shall we? When it comes to the rhythm of love-making in marriage, it sounds like you're dancing to a tune that's not quite your jam. It's like wanting to salsa and your partner is stuck in a slow waltz. 🕺💃

First off, kudos for keeping the communication lines open. That's relationship gold right there. However, it seems like it's time to remix the track. Have you considered a relationship therapist who specializes in intimacy? They're like the DJ who can help you find a beat that works for both of you.

About the open marriage arrangement – that's a tune that needs a careful ear. It’s clear that this setup isn’t making your heart sing. Love, communication is key, but so is listening to your own needs and desires. If the open aspect isn't for you, it's time for a heart-to-heart where you lay down your feelings, no holding back.

Lastly, embracing your needs isn't being demanding, it's about seeking harmony. Maybe exploring new ways to connect sexually and emotionally can help you find a balance that doesn't leave you feeling solo in a duet. Remember, your happiness is part of the symphony of your marriage. Let's aim for a crescendo, not a solo performance. Keep the love conversation going, and if it takes a therapist to tune the instruments, so be it. You've got this! 🎵💖

[Asker]

We have talked about counseling but we just don't have the time or the money. He also isn't interested in doing counseling.

[woahhh152]

Looks like you are sexually frustrated. It's normal how you feel

[Asker]

Maybe so but I don't want to feel that way

[woahhh152]

If you are not satisfied it will make you want to have sex with someone else and that urge will keep on growing till you are sexually satisfied

[woahhh152]

Wanna talk in DMs about it?

[Asker]

Sure

[woahhh152]

Message me

[Asker]

I dm'd you

[jahaims]

Get a divorce obviously