I need advice from married people (a mentor)?

[Anonymous]

I’m currently single. My parents are divorced and I feel like sometime behaviors which I learned from my parents cause me to stay single. For example, allowing yourself to become complacent or think your partner is against you in something.
These are common sense behaviors but I don’t know what to do in common situations like what happens when a guy I’m talking to flirts in person but never asks me for my contact info or what to do when he takes days to reply. Is there any married women I can ask for help on my dating journey?

[caring__1]

Our parents definitely influence our future, but we don't need to let it control our future. Sometimes people blame their parents for who they are. As they go through life, they drag this anchor from their past, so they don't end up getting very far. On the other hand, we can accept we're a result of our parents, but now that we know it, we can ask where are we and where do we want to be. The direction we focus is the direction we will actually go. Get a clear picture of the person you realistically want to be, then choose a path to get there.

Complacency is caused by a sense of entitlement. We focus more on what we expect from others than what is actually within our control (our own choices and actions). No one can hand you happiness, fulfillment and quality self-esteem on a silver platter. What we achieve is based on our choices and actions, not those of others.

Assuming your partner is against you is probably based on dysfunctional communication. If you feel your partner is against you, you're probably pushing your agenda onto your partner, which results in your partner pushing the same back at you. Life is smoother and happier when people prioritize hearing and understanding the other's perspective rather than insist on being heard.

If a guy flirts but doesn't ask for your contact information, it could be caused by many factors. He could be shy and afraid of rejection, or he could just be playing with you to boost his own ego or fill a void in his life, or he could be waiting for a response from you that he's not seeing. Be assertive rather than aggressive or passive. Clearly let your thoughts and feelings be known, but be considerate of the other person while doing so.

When guys take days to respond, look at the demands on that person's life. On occasion the demands may be high, but it's rare to find circumstances that won't allow a response within 24 hours. If there is nothing preventing the response, a delayed response is stating the person isn't really into you. You may just be a convenient option, not a forever choice.

[Asker]

All solid advice. Thank you so much.

[caring__1]

You're welcome.