I gave him back his gifts he bought me?

Question

Hey guys. So my boyfriend broke up with me two days ago and never reached out. All of the gifts he has given me I put them in a bag and returned them to him when he was at work. He watched me as I put them on his desk and walked away. He did not call me or text me back after that. He was showing me that he didn’t care about me so I returned his things

Flatmanlewis · Accepted Answer

This makes me wonder two things: Why did you guys break up? I mean, was this a mature decision that you two came to, that you weren’t compatible or was this one of you doing something really bad and hurting the other?

If it was a mutually agreed on decision then the smoothest and easiest way to move on is the best way. Why create drama in his workplace with this conduct?

If he did you wrong…why would you return the gifts? Just dispose of them or donate them to some church or charity group and move on. Going to his work place feels immature and kind of trying to provoke a response.

If you hurt him, then you’re just being petty by adding insult to injury. The fact that you didn’t return them by simply leaving them at his place (or returning them at all) smells of trying to poke a reaction out of him and an intentional act to make him the focus of attention at work.

Depending on your own motive (returning a very expensive gift because you don’t deserve it OR trying to make him suffer some public humiliation by plopping gifts on his desk at work for all to see OR returning gifts so he can in turn return them for the money back) all could swing how this looks to me. Then again, my opinion doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.

smne35 · Accepted Answer

That's kind of you most women would have kept the more valuable ones, kinda like compensation for dealing with his crap any way good for you for not making a scene, crying asking why, what did I do, you handled it very composed, calm mature, admirable, and he never followed up with any calls or reason, what a hard ass, that says it all about how he thought of you, or you stunned him into a silenent stupor, where only thing he can do is hide his tail between his legs and get away dragging his ass as he did so, good for you for not tolerating being treated that way, never settle for less, wasn't nothing worth keeping pawning, what a cheapskate he is, Merry x mass, and good bye to the old, hello new year fresh start and no more scrubs, or dudes like him

KelseiGrammar · Accepted Answer

You would've felt so much better if you would've taken the items and destroyed them instead. He broke up with you, he absolutely didn't care. Whatever you tried to do by returning it to him backfired because I'm sure thinking he doesn't care only made you feel worse. It's ok, take 30 minutes your day to cry and no more. You can break it up in increments, but dont give more than 30 minutes a day. He doesn't deserve your tears and to have your eyes all puffy and shit. You gotta put on a brave face and act like you dgaf either. Fake it til you make it. It'll get better. Whatever you do, do not make up a lame ass excuse to text him

Rei13 · Accepted Answer

Honestly good for you that you did that. It is a way to say goodbye and not have to be reminded of him every time you look at those things. It is going to hurt for awhile but make sure you’re keeping yourself busy so that you don’t dwell as much

AviatorTom · Answer

You were under no obligation to return his gifts, but you can do whatever you want. It might have been better if you had just given the gifts to others, or drop them off at Goodwill or Salvation Army, so that someone can use them. He's probably just going to throw them in the trash.

sage2021 · Answer

When a guy would break up with one of the girls at work, they all were friends in my circle. I would let them know to wear all black dresses, black pantyhose, and black shoes to work the next day. There were about six of us.
The reason we wore black to work was because we would have a funeral in my backyard, dig a hole and throw all the stuff our guys gave to us and burried them.
It was so cool. 😎

DreamCrescent · Answer

good job

please don’t expect a call from him. on the off chance he does call or text, please don’t pick up or engage

i know it’s tough. he broke up with you. now you practice the self-love and the strength and the resilience and get back on your feet

warm tight hug for you 💛💚🩵

SphynxUK · Answer

He broke up with you. Why would he then need to call you because you have back his gifts?
What did you expect him to say?
As for giving back the gifts, I would have done the same. It shows you’re done with him too, and I expect he’s not happy about that.

PaulEGon · Answer

It clearly shows you must have been the more adult one in the relationship. You go out of your way to give the gifts back and he won't even talk to you. Try not to worry about him, (I say try as it may not be easy) there will be someone out there worthy of you in the proper time.

Natasha2024 · Answer

In a similar position and i would definitely return all the gifts. And the fact that he hasn't reached out just shows the kind of person he is. Someone once told me that guys treat you the way they feel about you and even though it hurts, you deserve better than him and his gifts!! Wish you all the best in your journey
Sending hugs

spartan55 · Answer

They weren't his things they were YOUR things because they were gifts. Obviously, all you were doing was trying to get him to talk to you and beg you to come back. He wisely didn't fall for that bullshit.

Billlewis · Answer

Although I respect your decision to do this, I philosophically disagree with you in doing so. I think you should have kept the gifts, as compensation, at least in part, for the time, effort and energy he wasted.

PetLover24 · Answer

By your statement I'll anaylize your personality

You're petty (returning gifts), narcissistic (thinking he'd call / text you), & born low classed (go to work & making unnecessary scene). GOOD for him, getting rid of you.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

But what is your question? If you did good or not? No idea, it depends on the relationship you shared, the agreements you made and so on. You know the best

Momo5274 · Answer

I can understand returning gifts if you felt like he or the relationship wasn't genuine. But you guys broke up and the relationship is over; why are you expecting him to reach out? Maybe there's some context I'm missing here, but it seems like a petty move with that perspective

Anonymous · Answer

I think you did right giving them back. Why should you keep them? They’ll only remind you of him. You didn’t speak to him or reach out to him in anyway, which was the right thing to do; you simply dropped them off and left. Good on you.

Thestupidusername · Answer

I understand you are hurt. Good that you returned his stuff. Just focus on healing completely before you meet someone else.

Fireguy17 · Answer

that is just the positive re-enforcement that you needed to validate your decision to dump his sorry ass. Good for you.

rosemilk · Answer

yes, because you two broke up. he doesn't need to reach out again

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Okay. And what would you like our help with?

Minahh · Answer

Lol I didn't bother I threw them straight in the trash

HawkPerception · Answer

So... what's the question?

Anonymous · Answer

That bitch of an asshole has yet to give me my gifts back

syncheart · Answer

Proving once again, breakups suck.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Cool, he can give them to the next chick.

Anonymous · Answer

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I gave him back his gifts he bought me?

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