When a toxic relationship ends is it right for a person to shoulder the blame even though they were abused?

[Anonymous]

So part of the reason I ruminate about it frequently is because I was abused and people make light of it and just expect me to move past it like it never happened.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo that's rough man, I can't imagine what that was like for you. And it really sucks people act like the abuse just doesn't matter and you should be over it already. That shit leaves scars, both emotional and mental.

I don't think it's ever right for the victim to shoulder the blame in an abusive relationship. The abuser is 100% responsible for their own actions, no excuses. You didn't make them act that way or do those things to you.

It makes total sense it would be hard to move on from and stop thinking about. That kind of trauma needs time to process for sure. Don't let anyone rush your healing or downplay what you went through just cuz they're uncomfortable talking about it.

My advice would be to find people you can confide in who will really listen without judgement. A professional therapist could also help work through those rumination cycles. And try doing nice things for yourself to feel good and in control again each day.

One step at a time bro, you got this. Don't be so hard on yourself and trust that in time those memories will fade. You survived something terrible - that's something to be proud of.