Is lack of sex sufficient reason for divorce?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

In my country according to the law it is, plus the neglected spouse can even ask for emotional and psychological damages.

This doesn't applies however if said spouse has engaged in infidelity or the neglectful spouse has a justified health reason.

Examples taken from real cases

A) a woman sought a divorce and 30000€ in damages from her neglectful husband OR the demand that he get professional treatment and work on their marriage. The judge granted this condition, and the couple reconciled.

B) a man sought divorce and unspecified damages from his wife who had stage IV terminal cancer. The judge did not grant any demand.

C) a woman sought divorce and unspecified damages on her husband. Said husband brought evidence of her infidelity and the demands got basically reverse Uno carded on the woman.

[OlderAndWiser]

In my jurisdiction, the only grounds for divorce are:

1. your spouse has been declared incompetent and remains incompetent after the passage of at least three years; OR

2. "the marriage is irretrievably broken," meaning that it is beyond repair. This essentially does away with any requirement to demonstrate a sufficient reason for the divorce. If you say it is irretrievably broken, it will not be questioned.

If my fiancée started withholding sex, I would certainly insist on a discussion and being provided an explanation of the change in her behavior. If it is happening for a reason beyond her control, then we work on that problem together. If she has lost interest and does not care about the consequences for me, then I will probably lose interest in her.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I can't agree with the ethics of it since it makes it sound like sex is obligatory and not voluntary and consensual between a married couple. It should always be voluntary and consensual and never obligatory as I see it.

If a husband or wife complains about their spouse not having sex with them, there's probably at least partial fault that is shared by the one making the accusation. There might be a general lack of communication, trust, affection, physical or mental health issues, etc. That's something to work on together. It's not something to corrected by making sex an obligatory part of the marriage contract from my perspective.

[monorprise]

@GuyAnswersGirls123
That is an opinion of marriage which devalues the institution for the man, who's primary motivation historically for the institution was sex and the productive thereof.

Make that voluntary and consensual as it is among strangers today, and there is no reason for marriage for the man, no reason for him to remain her servant in working to provide.

In other-words it basically breaks the institution. Maybe that is what has happened, although most people believe the institution was really broken by the abandonment of any security element, as the fruit was soo rarely withheld.

It was however historically the fruit (sex) that was the only historically legitimate reason to abandon the security element.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@monorprise It might be a somewhat different set of traditional standards in Japan with a focus on building, uniting, and protecting the family. Also the traditional Japanese wife typically worked alongside the husband and also was prized if she had fighting ability, since she was the last bastion of defense should the husband fall in battle.

That's a very traditional outlook but I often reconcile it with contemporary ethics by favoring what's best for the family and ultimately children, so that generally requires a high degree of cooperation and sex as far beyond obligatory (although a vital part of reproduction and the reason to get married in the first place, but not a continuous requirement or one coerced absent consent). We also lack the concept of alimony/spousal support here which might frame the marriage contract in quite a different light.

[demonics]

It is obligatory according to the traditional vows you take. Don't call your sugarbaby arrangement a marriage if its not according to traditional law.

"I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith."

"to have and to hold" is not a suggestion.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@demonics That's a Western vow. Our traditional one is this:
この人を愛しこの人を敬いこの人を慰め固く節操を守ることを誓います。

It focuses on duty, honor, cooperation, to take care of each other when ill, to be faithful, and protect the family.

Your Western tradition seems to promote far more sugar babies to me with alimony/spousal support and skyrocketing rates of divorce.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@demonics I mean you're the one talking about making sex an obligation, right? That's a sugar baby. You're paying for sex. Japanese custom is opposite. The traditional Japanese wife works alongside the husband and is not obliged to have sex.

[demonics]

Some idiot gave women the right to vote, then absolved them of any and all responsibility for their actions. Thus: "I can do whatever I want and you just have to deal with it and pay for it."

You country is 13th in lowest fertility rates.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@demonics We do have a problem with the economy and one of the huge differences is that Japanese never have children out of wedlock or get married until they can purchase a proper home in a family-friendly neighborhood.

I don't mean to get in a culture war with you but I just don't understand how you could suggest that my ethics, which does not view sex as an obligation, is somehow remotely related to sugar babies when the polar opposite seems true to me. If regular sex is part of the marriage contract, that far more resembles prostitution to me than one where it is considered something voluntary between two loving people.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@demonics Also apologies if I disrespected the Western marriage tradition. Actually if you are a religious conservative, I think you're one of the few remaining people in the West still approaching marriage in a very successful and good way.

You just really threw me off with the mention of sugar babies since I really think gold-diggers and sugar babies are a much bigger problem in the West. There is little incentive for a Japanese woman to marry a man for his wealth and assets since she won't receive a penny from divorcing as we have no concept of alimony. Meanwhile, I hear horror stories all the time in the West about men being cut in half by women to the point where there's even a growing anti-marriage sentiment over there.

[demonics]

Both of our countries are being sabotaged deliberately. The women are the mechanism.
-No morals
-No marriage
-No families
-Wasteful spending
-Wars
-Immigration
-We don't make anything
-Cultural rot
-Everyone is fat
-No one wants to work
-Government is corrupt/cowardly
-Wanton crime
-Everyone is medicated through Rx, opiates, THC, alcohol, food, porn, games, social media
-Talking about it all is blocked, banned and illegal
The time of weeping and gnashing of teeth is upon us all.

[WhitneySnow]

Those sound reasonably fair to me. While no one should ever force you to have sex against your will, unless you’re both ace, if you’re married you’re supposed to want to have sex with your spouse at least sometimes. If you don’t want that, then you should be friends, not married.

[Nikki1989]

That alone would be a weak excuse.

[Flatmanlewis]

Yes. Within reason. If it’s because of medical reasons, pregnancy, or some other issue then that’s part of the “…in sickness and health…” part of our vows.


If it’s out of a loss of interest or desire then we probably need to look into the relationship and tune up some things.


If it’s just not her thing and never has been, then I chose poorly. If it’s become not her thing any longer then yeah - divorce could be on the table.

[patrick994]

It depends:

If the lack of sex is caused by a physical problem of the woman or the man, it is not permissible to ask for a divorce because of this.

If, on the other hand, one of the spouses categorically refuses to have sex, without a valid, apparent and justified reason, such as the one I mentioned above, one could.

[monorprise]

@patrick994

When a woman marries a man she is promising him access to sex and the products thereof in exchange for being her servant in working to provide. Until the relatively recent legal invention of the concept of "martial rape" which of course hinges upon the abandonment of that original contract of consent. It was almost unheard of that a wife could/would withhold sex from her husband.

With the contract now having been abandoned by most of 'modern' western culture, the new institution fraudulently taking the original's name is likewise being abandoned as its terms or ever more widely known as ever more self-evidently pointless.

[Anonymous]

Sex is important after marriage and there is also cases of neglect of affection that’s happened one person has to pay millions for a affair, sleeping with a man’s wife.

I think divorce can be initiated for any reason. But I think divorce should be in situations of cheating, abuse, etc. I think once people are married they should stay married. Unless like I said one of those things or they’re so miserable

[GreenLanternI0I]

I do not know the legality behind this type of reason, but I can confidently tell you, the lack of sex is a number one reason why people (men in particular) get divorce or why they cheat on their spouse.

[HawkPerception]

Crazy that people expect money from divorces. This is why prenup is a must. Prevents entitled hoes from getting with you to just take your money.

I think that sexual compatibility is definitely a large factor in a relationship, and if you have a communicated your perspective to your partner and they aren't trying to satisfy your needs, then it's a justified reason for getting a divorce. Money should not be involved though.

[sheikalana]

Lack of sex can lead to a divorce as lack of sex tends to lead to disconnection and distance.

[monorprise]

@sheikalana The problem is the willful refusal to provide the agree upon services of marriage in exchange. This does of course compromise the relationships as it would any other trade making it unstable.

What you call connection is merely how your stoneage mind judges the loyalty and reliability of other person which may or may not be a correct assessment. Probably not in the modern world given how much more complicated our sources of information, lives, and relationships are.

[ProbablyClueless]

It would have be a pretty extreme situation, but yes, a lack of sex can be seen as a legally sufficient grounds for divorce

[Peter_Penetrator]

In some states, it is “legal” grounds for divorce. Just like impotence.

[Gent207-2]

What 2 weak humans are these - to turn love into trench warfare, where no one wins

[Cody2004]

Well I mean with your own desires you have to take care of yourself but everything changes if you have kids the way until they turn 18 don't put your own selfish shit before your own kids

[RefriedBeans]

Sex is way more than sex. Too bad more people don't understand that.

[verylovelyguy]

in the russian empire, before the soviet union, there were laws about divorce. impotency was considered a legitimate reason

[JayBones]

In Texas the unsexed spouse can sue you. At least that's what my wife told me. She doesn't lie all that much so I belive it.

[BonzoInBitburg]

I got a no fault divorce. I didn't need to give a reason to file. I had plenty of reasons though

[soe11]

Yes it's a major issue and without it marriage like life will never smooth, unless he should allow her have sex outside and remain as civil partnerships.

[Likes2drive]

Seems like it should be since there’s usually an underlying reason unless it’s medical they probably should get divorced

[Anonymous]

Lack of sex in a marriage does not just happen. It's a symptom of larger problems, and those problems, if not resolvable, can be sufficient reson for divorce..

[Twalli]

In the US we have no fault divorce laws which means you don't need to give a reason to get a divorce and reasons don't affect divorce proceedings.

[whistlingwh0res]

You know you can marry a big tranny and she will fuck you making you feel beautiful like a woman

[DextroShade]

It absolutely is, and she should get zero alimony, assets, or child support.

[Anonymous]

It could be. It really depends on what precipitated it.

[Dou1994]

It can be many reasons why. I say it is one of it.

[elizamichale1]

It definitely is

[Anonymous]

It would be in my opinion.

[OtterMan68]

no, not it's not

[Samantha_17]

Yes it is.

[Anonymous]

For me it is