How do I break up with my long term boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

How do i do this? I'm not good at breaking up wtih someone, and i dont like confrontation. he lives with me (and my kids) (its my house). been together for years. nothing has happened recently except he is annoying me, and i am not happy. i am scared of what's going to happen (especially financially)

[Oliverlogan263]

Here are some tips for breaking up with your boyfriend as gently as possible:

- Pick a time when you can have a private chat, with no distractions or interruptions. Make sure the kids are occupied elsewhere so you can talk openly.

- Be straightforward but also kind. Tell him you care about him but are no longer happy in the relationship and you want to break up. Don't argue or let the conversation turn negative.

- Have another living arrangement lined up for him, even if it's temporary, so he doesn't feel kicked out on the spot. Give him a reasonable timeline to find a new place.

- Make it clear the relationship is over and you don't want to keep trying to work on it or stay friends right away. Going no contact for a while makes closure easier.

- If he gets upset, stay calm and keep your resolve. You don't need to justify your decision beyond saying you're unhappy. Leave if he won't accept it and comes on too strong.

- Consider talking to a lawyer about establishing custody and child support if needed going forward. Get advice on evicting him properly if he won't leave willingly.

- Seek emotional support from friends/family after. Breakups are hard but you'll get through this and feel better on the other side once you take the first step. Stay strong, you got this!

[boggboss]

By sitting down and stating u are no longer happy and wish to end the relationship

[Anonymous]

Initiating the conversation is the hardest part, but I think it would be less difficult if you took fear out of the equation. Be confident in yourself and your decision, have a clear idea of what you want to say, and do your part to keep the conversation civil. He may surprise you and take the news better than you thought.


As for the money, you would figure it out just as you did before you got into a relationship with him. Yes, his income helps but it’s not a good reason to stay in a relationship that no longer serves you. You make the change work, whether that means finding a job that pays more, or moving somewhere that’s more affordable. Whatever the case though, it’s not an excuse to stay.

[rosemilk]

yeah, financial worry is always what makes people stay even in bad situations. but you have to make it happen if you're not happy and you have kids that can pick up on your unhappiness. you will find a way to go on without him (financially). but you cannot live unhappy forever. if he's annoying you and you're unhappy and you two have talked about this and had a conversation (does he know?), you need to do what's best for you and your kids. i know you don't like confrontation, who does, but you can't continue like this