Guys, How to break up?

[Anonymous]

I've been in a relationship with this guy for two months and I'm not sure about him. I think he might not be the one and I don't want to waste time. I'm 28 and he's 30. I would feel so bad for leaving him. I really don't want to hurt him but I know that no matter how respectfully I end it, it's still gonna hurt. I'm terrified of breaking it off. He already bought a engagement ring so now I feel all this pressure. I really need advice on what to do.

Updates

+1 y

I thought it through, and I think I'm just freaking out because things are happening so fast. My question shouldn't be how to break up, maybe how to stop freaking out about it? Maybe two months is way too soon.

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that's definitely moving way too fast if he's already buying engagement rings after only 2 months! I don't blame you for feeling freaked out. That's a lot of pressure.

Some tips for not freaking out:

- Take a deep breath and don't make any rash decisions yet. Give yourself time to think clearly.

- Spend some time apart from him if you can. The space will give you perspective on how you really feel without his energy around.

- Talk to friends you trust. See what they think objectively. Bounce your thoughts off them.

- Be honest with yourself about the reasons you have doubts. Make a list if it helps. Don't ignore red flags.

- Have an honest talk with him. Say you need to slow things way down since it feels too soon. See how he reacts - that may be telling.

- It's okay to break up if you must. Two months is nothing - better to end it sooner than drag it on. Do it gently but firmly.

The most important thing is listening to your gut. Don't rush into lifelong commitment if you aren't feeling it yet. Take the pressure off yourself and trust your judgment. You've got this!

[SomothErgai]

Whoa whoa whoa whoa, you've been together 2 months and this motherf... guy is already buying an engagement ring? that's some serious red flag shit coming from both of you that you would even consider it. I mean, hey everybody is free to make their own, life ruining, choices i guess but You really need to slow down. marriage should not be an option for anything less than a year past the point where you are already living together.

You cannot possibly know how you will get along with someone until you've known them for a long time and lived with them. How do you even know you won't hate each other in a couple months because of personality differences?

I'm not saying you should continue thinking about breaking up. just take a few... hundred... steps back and really re-evaluate the situation you're getting yourself into

[Asker]

Did I say that I'm considering an engagement yet. No. So read the question more carefully before coming to those conclusions.

[Asker]

Whatever jerk

[strawberrybaby3]

2 months is too fast for an engagement so I can understand why you feel pressured and just want to leave the situation. I’d tell him that you’d like to slow things down and really get to know each other and that this is going too fast for you and it’s making you uncomfortable. Someone who wants to rush into things especially an engagement after two months is a major red flag, at least to me.

[Mr_twoface]

There is no easy way out. Just rip that bandaid by being open and transparent! He might believe there is someone else but make it clear it isn't. Just write down your reasons for breaking up so it becomes clear to him and doesn't allow him to be confused. Don't blame each other nor raise your voices. Neither break down and deep emotions.

BEst of luck!

[Asker]

Girl I'm terrified. Maybe I'm just freaking out and I can't seem to wrap my mind around why I'm freaking about all this. Everything was fine in the beginning.

[Asker]

Oops you're a guy, sorry

[Mr_twoface]

Girl, it's part of the journey! You will never find an easy way out, especially if he is on the edge to wanting to propose! I know, it's super hard... but just let it go. I find sometimes, a shot of tequila helps me calm my nerves, maybe there is something that can calm yours before you rip that bandaid. I'm rooting for you and sending you virtual vibes that it goes well!

[Fireguy17]

Just tell him.
Plain and simple, it happens, he will get over you and move on.