How to break up?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is a loser with no job currently. I waited a year and half for him to get his life together and he's wasting my time. Everytime I tried breaking up he would cry in front of me like a freaking little b****. The man is 31 who still can't hold down a job and loves his video games.

[HollyK21]

I have a best friend who’s been in a relationship like this for nearly 7 years now. Her boyfriend has so much potential — 6’6, college degree, handsome, and at one point accumulated over 20k on instagram as a model so he still has a great platform to relaunch his career on. Yet it’s as if he’s either too lazy or thinks he’s too good to work.


He’s on his ps5 all day while she works a full time job to support them and has been doing so all this time. He makes every excuse in the book for not working and even acts like he’s looking in earnest sometimes or there’s potential with a job offer when nothing ever comes from any of it.


All this to say, it will only continue to be a waste of your time if he is showing you with his actions that nothing is going to change. If he has a safety net in the form of parents, family or you taking care of him despite how you all feel about his joblessness, then there’s no real incentive for him to change.


Lastly, he clings onto you because he knows how rare it is to find a woman who stays with a man who won’t do his part in the relationship and let’s her carry the full burden of providing for both of them. He isn’t a leader, isn’t a provider or a good example of what a man should be if you ever had kids one day. Cut your losses.

[Asker]

I don't even live with him. He's on his own.

[HollyK21]

That’s fine, but if you stay together then one day you would live together, and if his laziness is any indication of what to expect, then you’d be carrying a lot of the burden.

[Asker]

I really don't want that. Like I'm working on myself , to stop allowing these losers manipulate my emotions. It's really hard for me right now to let go of this relationship even though I resent this man very much

[HollyK21]

What’s making it so hard? Aside from the fact that you love him, of course that’s a given reason.

[SteveSmith1985]

Just be clear about the fact that it's over. You've made the decision. There's not going to be any tearful take-back of this breakup.

You probably don't want to be honest. Unless you specifically want to hurt the guy, don't tell him it's because he can't get his shit together (unless he specifically asks... then go for it).

Just say something clear, but generic:

"I just think it's time for me to move on"

"I don't think we're a good fit anymore"

"I'm not happy in this relationship"

Things like that. Something where there is nothing unclear about the fact that it's over. But don't be a dick about it.

You need to do it though. It's fucked up to be with a guy and feel this way about him. For both of your sake, end this.

[ohsheeT]

Like the old saying say. You are the people you hang with Eventually, you will bring you all the way down. You just said Goodbye and let it go.

[serious]

Well, there is no easy way to do it. You just have to do it even if it hurts him. Where there is no respect, love also won't thrive in such an environment.

[DryGermanGuy]

Write him a letter, explaining it like you would to a child. Then pack your stuff, get out and don’t look back.

[wkhan_87]

Just tell him directly and give the valid reason

[Asker]

I'm thinking about just ghosting him and block him because everytime I try to explain myself and break up with him, he knows how to manipulate my emotions and make me feel bad

[wkhan_87]

Yes it would be better

[wkhan_87]

Once more tell him importance of job and money , maybe he understands

[yotaman99]

Is he small