How to breakup with someone?

[Anonymous]

I've never broken up with anyone before usually I'm getting dumped or cheated on and they leave me. I seem to be or user to be too forgiving that even their unfaithfulness wouldn't be enough for me to wk away (abandonment issues) the person I'm with now though is amazing and been through a lot and together for a few years now. Problems is I'm not in the best place in my life right now and there has been issues these past few months but also I have this want to be single while I'm still young enough and feature off. I want to be able to flirt with girls and if the opportunity presents it's self to go further I'd like to be able to pursue it. I don't want to be a cheater and I care about the person I'm with now I just don't know how to end it without breaking their heart...

[Anonymous]

Hello brother. If you really care about your girl never cheat on her. Don't take your past hurts from other girls into this innocent girl. She trusted you so she came into relationship with you. When you break a good person's life for pursuing your entertainment with other girls any for having fetish desires of being selfish for your own insecurities, it shows that you don't deserve this real love from this innocent girl. If you break up with her I can be sure that she will never accept you back again and you will be losing a diamond in search of a stone. If that is all you want to have, leaving the greatest person of your life for featuring off yourself for other girls, to look as a single, to date them, it shows how cheater you are. You may not be considered as a direct cheater but an indirect cheater who broke her trust, dreams, future. She believed in you. And if you break up with her, you are not just breaking your relationship with her but you will be breaking her heart, future, trust and every aspect that she dreamt about you in her future. So you're literally breaking her future. Understand what you're doing and then decide. It's finally your choice to go with your fetish desires and break a girl's life or to be a responsible guy who can be admired for greatest loyalty

[Tina19]

By breaking up with this person you are also giving them a chance to find someone who is ready to be with them i understand you feel guilty but at least you are honest they might feel bad ay first but don't worry they will get over it with time i think you are doing the right thing my being honest

[DJB72]

In person. Be honest - including not saying "I'd like it if we can be friends" unless you mean it and you're terminally ill.

I tried to be friends with my exes. It took 30 years for it to start to work with my first girlfriend. My second hasn't spoken to me in 25 years.

[OlderAndWiser]

This is something I wrote on this subject about 5 years ago.

Let's Be Practical: How To End A Relationship And Minimize The Stress!

[Guy13]

Tell them face-face that this arrangement is not working out for you and that you wish to discontinue it. There does not need to be a list of why at first notice of “it’s over.”

[AviatorTom]

Learn from how you were dumped and do the same thing. Don't worry... her "broken heart" will be temporary... she'll get over you.

[Avicenna]

Just be as honest as you can while not hurting her feelings. Take out the more selfish parts of what you posted here.

[TheorionMage]

Painful as it may be to BE baseline 'honest'... it WILL result in the least
later 'soul searching'.
YOU ARE FEELING the fleeting of your youthful opportunity while selfishly STILL wanting all the privileges of singular commitment.
What you crave is 'my cake and eat it too' relationship of a 'friends with benefits'. Older folks having made such a commitment, craft an 'open marriage' arrangement. No two are EVER identically the same.

To tell them this admits your 'want it all' immaturity and the fear that THEY do not desire that same 'opportunity' status and/or if they DO accept this, there may well come a point where YOU want to be with them but THEY THEMSELF have a date willing to give a greater degree of fidelity!

Speaking as both the Breaker' and the one 'Broken Up With' ... the least lengthy emotionally pained is... a COMPLETE ending of relations. Subsequent incidental contact, dredges up fantasized 20/20 hindsight as what COULD have been.
;

[ZackBan]

If you wanna break-up there is a reason. Big or small.

What you need is present your case in a positive light.

Meaning you can say: look we are not working out because 1 2 3 4 and I feel like we can both benefit from moving on and meeting someone who can satisfy our 5 6 7 8.

A tip would be to reduce contact a little while before doing that. Don't break up right on the heels of steamy sex, do it when things are cooled off between you

[DribbleGodCurt]

If you really love her or care about her and she feels the same way talk to her about this, and when i say this all of your struggles and stuff bc she will help you and if she doesn't she's not for you just saying, this is my opinion so please do not get mad or upset please and thank you and, have a good day.

[MikeTheBartender]

You know what, I'm not going to answer your question, rather I'm going to tell you the important thing is not how you do it, it is that you do it. I know so many people that literally stay in miserable relations for years, get married, and even get divorced after 30 plus years, and give them all their money. Feel free to entertain all the ideas below on how it is done, but the most important thing for me is that you do it.

[aaron210419]

Don't do it through text, email, social media, or by ghosting. Show some respect to the person you were involved with and tell them that you've decided to move on in person. It doesn't have to be a long drawn out discussion especially if the other person is one to overreact. Get your point across, be firm and then wish them good luck.

[Anonymous]

Just tell them you're not interested in continuing, hear them out for about 15 minutes and then call it to a close and don't look back when they call you incessantly trying to change your mind. It's the one moment you must be resolute or it won't work.

[GreenLanternI0I]

For your particular situation, you should drink 3 shots of your favorite Whiskey, but no more than that, you want to have a conversation with your G. F. not with a Toilet. Call her up and let the Whiskey spirit to the rest. Good Luck Buddy!

[A_Bell]

Br direct and honest. Don't lie to save feelings and don't act like a fool to hurt them.

Say why you want to break up and end it. Treat people with respect and dignity and you will never be in the wrong.

[summiter]

It has happened to us and some of have done it. The best way is to be kind, take the high road and be honest and just say" This is not working out for me. I have had fun but I need to move on"

[JDavid25]

I don't think you'll end it without breaking her heart.. Especially for the reasons you want to break up.. Apart from a few... They seem a bit shallow..

[holdem4884]

Be as straightforward as possible without being harsh. Don't send any mixed messages, be clear. Being honest will be best for you both.

[dustybiker]

Ask to sit down with them. Then let it out. It’s hard for anyone, but the right thing to do. For both of you.

[Mangospacho]

Don’t take her some place public to do it. Tell her directly that you’re breaking up with her. Definitely don’t go into the reasons why like what you don’t like about her and keep your boundaries after breaking up with her like no dates, etc.

[CallmeTheKnight]

You sound like you don't know what you want in life. Just call it quits and stay single, but don't date or get romantically or sexually involved with anyone until you're certain of yourself

[Marklaw12]

Hi luv, I don't think this is working. I don't want to do this anymore. Let's call it quits.


Stick to your guns no matter how much you've got a soft spot for her.

[KaiidiraX]

With honesty. There is no perfect way. You just have to be honest and as kind as possible

[Akam93]

Probably best to just say it's not working anymore that you want your freedom back and do other things in life.