Is it okay for your parents/siblings to still be really good friends or friendly with your ex?

[Anonymous]

Let's assume you didn't break up due to anything serious like abuse or infidelity.

[blueonblack22]

Friendly yes but real friends hell no.

Like what if your ex starts talking about their new relationship and/or marriage with your relatives? Wouldn’t that be awkward especially if you are single? Or how would it make your ex feel if your relatives talked about your new relationship and they are still single.

Some people got weird and warped expectations about this. There was one woman I was briefly romantically involved with years ago who I later had a bad falling out with. But she seriously thought she was going to BFF with my sister in law after just meeting her just once.

[Asker]

This actually happened with my aunts ex. He was just an awesome dude (he recently passed). Like could genuinely have run for "the most interesting man in the world" title. We all loved him, and he even proposed to my aunt, but she has never in her life wanted marriage and thus broke it off for that reason alone (and yes, she never lied to him about that, he knew she didn't want marriage). We all still remained really good friends with him. He was invited to FAMILY reunions, Christmas, birthday parties, and literally, my brother invited him to his out of state wedding to speak at the wedding which my aunt of course, attended. LOL! I think the one factor about why this even worked was that my aunt was never bitter about the ending of the relationship and did recognize how awesome he was even after the break up. My mom also did ask her if she were cool if he was still in our lives and she said yes, sooo...that.

[blueonblack22]

“ My mom also did ask her if she were cool if he was still in our lives and she said yes, sooo... that.”

THAT is what matters. That. The woman I was briefly involved with showed up on my doorstep on Independence Day from another state. I already had family plans so I invited her over. I even told my fam that I briefly dated her in the past but we were just “friendly” at the moment. She chummed it up well with my sister, mother and sister in law that evening.

But when we were walking back to my bothers bourse after fireworks I overhead her asking my sister in law if she could “crash on her sofa”. My sister in law didn’t know wtf to say and didn’t respond (it was implied she would go home with me).

She did end up coming home with me (we shared a bed but didn’t do anything). But I was quietly infuriated she had the nerve to ask my sister in law such an insane request after just meeting her. She had me over a barrel too. If I protested at all it would make me look bad.

It’s a long story but I didn’t see her for a long time but the next time we spoke I confronted her. I wanted to believe it was a misunderstanding but it wasn’t. She said she just “changed her mind” about going home with me that evening. She felt like it was perfectly okay to ask my sister in law who she JUST met to stay at her place. She tried to gaslight me and was worried what my family thought of her vs. how I f*cking felt. She made me look a creep that evening for no good reason whatsoever.

She really believed she made a connection with them I even asked my sister and sister in law if I said or did anything wrong that night and they said of course I didn’t. And again this was after showing up on my doorstep from another state.

Long story short is family is OFF LIMITS when it comes to romance issue (or lack thereof). I never had a woman insult me like that before in front of my family. I cut her off for good after that.

[TommyMountainFigure]

One of my ex's adores my Mum, and vice versa.. It's really awkward because me and her haven't spoken in 10 years.
I told her though that just because I think she ( the ex) is a spiteful and hateful witch that I hoped would one day fly off on her broomstick and never find her way back into the civilised world, nothing has to change with my Mum.. and it hasn't! They still talk regularly!

[Youngbrain]

That would be surely awkward because they may force to reconsider the break up even if you are sure of yourself especially if they liked your ex a lot🤷

[PeachyPie93]

Yeah I still am friends with my ex so if they are friends I wouldn't care.

[coachTanthony]

Those are the breaks. It's even harder when pets are involved.

[Anonymous]

I'd be unhappy if my relationship status together or apart affected my friends choice of friendships because that.

Though I might feel a bit uneasy if those friendships caused me to spend a lot of time with an ex-gf whom hadn't moved on or whom I was finding it difficult to be around. So there's a critical mass here, meaning as long as I can elect to spend less time with my ex it's fine, but if everyone is always briging her to everything we do together, that would become difficult fast.

[BonzoInBitburg]

My parents invited my ex over for holiday dinners and I didn't care. They only stopped when I found someone else

[nawtee_me]

Sure it is, I divorced my ex not her dad. Me and my ex paw in law still have a drink together now and then. Of course me and my ex are still good friends too. It is a choice and we chose to remain friends.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I don't mind, as long as I never asked them not to be

[itsclearlynicholas]

I'd be so cringey at that. 😬 If it were me. I'd be like, "why are you still friends with my ex" haha

[itsclearlynicholas]

I have no ex, lol X 😭😆😞

[mbarsi01]

No that’s disrespectful. It doesn’t have to be a bridge burner but I wouldn’t want my sister hanging out with my ex girlfriend

[TacosRAwesome]

I wouldn't mind in general but I'd have issues with it specifically.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand the big deal if they are. I don’t find it disrespectful.

[bobby_bush_eater]

Friendly, sure. Friends I'd prefer not but I've only ever broken up over infidelity so...

[CocacolaGirl1993]

Depends if you have kids with them. Sure I know some cause their child had grandchild with them.

[KrakenAttackin]

Sure. The ex must have some redeeming qualities of the family keeps him/her in their life.

[Bipolar_Fashion]

It's not a problem if people have boundaries... it can be sensitive and problematic for some...

[Alwayreckles93]

No ex is HISTORY! PERIOD!

[laly520]

their business but I would be sad

[jahaims]

Your family doesn't respect you if they do