If your SO dies do you call them your ex?

[Twalli]

Technically your relationship didn't really end. It just stopped without any of you expecting it. Do you consider that person an ex, since you aren't with them anymore?

Updates

+1 y

This was inspired by a story I read when a guy married his stepmother after his father died.

P. S. It isn't that weird since he was closer in age to his stepmother than his father was, she was a trophy wife. He also really only met her at her wedding to his father before his father's funeral.

[ManInChains]

Ex just refers to the person you were previously with. People just assume it means they broke up with that person or that person broke up with them. People don't often die suddenly in an accident more so than they decide to end things for whatever reason. You just have to let people know they're an ex because they died otherwise you'd still probably be with them

[RingOfFire]

My last relationship was with a women 30 years younger than me. We were together for several years. It ended several years ago but I never stopped caring about her and we kept in touch.

She died in March. Yes, it feels like my "ex" died. That's how I think of it. Cannot believe she is gone. Still hurts.

[BeeNee]

My boyfriend drowned while on vacation. I refer to him as my ex if the subject arises. An ex, to me, is anyone you've dated and are no longer dating. Plus it's far less awkward and less painful to say "my ex" than to say, "my boyfriend who died."

[Dinklex3]

When you die, it ends. If ex means former/previous partner then yes. They’d be my ex. It’d take me a while to heal and refer to them in past tense though. Not something I’d like to think about.

[Changiis07]

I wouldn't considered them an ex, I would just say my husband that passes away

[AviatorTom]

She would be my wife or girlfriend who passed away. I wouldn't call her my ex.

[Finchie40]

I would just say my deceased partner

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

I lost my wife in 2002 to a drunk driver. NOT sure about others but to this day I will still sometimes refer to her when sharing stories as my wife.

I choose to never remarry so I really saw a reason to change how I referred to her until the last 6+ years. Someone pointed out to me they thought I was married and cheating because of how I spoke of her.

[SarahS98]

I don't even want to think about it. I wouldn't have the heart to just refer him to an ex. He would be my late husband.

Hopefully we get to old age.

[Caroline91]

@sarahs98 I had wanted to reply to another member''s loss and ask a question, but haven't yet decided how to do that with sensitivity , so may or may not ask. BUT, I do want to say that yours is the perfect solution. I cannot imagine being in this world with out my husband and also was balking at even thinking about it... He will never be an ex to me, so I appreciate your thought!

[Friendlybro79]

Hmm interesting. You don't have to end a relationship for someone to be an ex. For ex the other person could end it typically.

That said. I think in this scenario if you remarry or start a new relationship then they are your ex.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Since I'm married, "my late husband" is how I'd refer to him.

[Boomchakalaca]

Interesting, I wouldn’t call them an ex bc an ex is different. I would use the term “past partner”

[DishLady]

No. Because they were taken from you they're just "past".

[JacobJordan]

Nope if my wife passes she is still my wife. "Til death do us part"

[Razp_Sorbet]

Not until in a new relationship. After obviously a lot of time has past

[SirenScarlett]

No. I have never known anyone who's partner has died, to call their partner their ex.

[thisAppIsGarbage]

I dint call them ever again. Collect the life insurance and ball out

[on_my_knees]

I call her my "ghost wife."

[BoopBoopBeep]

I do, yes. That's how I refer to them.

[katiesmuff]

I suppose you probably would!

[rosemilk]

yes, you can no longer date them, sadly.

[NathanDavis]

that's not something I want to know...

[Caroline91]

@NathanDavis @exitseven I agree with you both. But there are times in life when we do need words to express something, no matter how grievous. It tears my heart out if I even begin to think about it in relation to my own husband. I d9 have 2 friends who have faced this and it's one more thing they struggled with as they adjusted to their new reality. I do love that both of your hearts are in the right pace,

[NathanDavis]

@Caroline91 I know it is part of like, yes

and I've lost others too, never an spouse, but also as important in my life, so... just the thought of it brings memories and feelings of heart break, so no... I rather not focus on things like these just for the "exercise"

whatever might come, may come... and we'll deal with it then

[Caroline91]

Absolutely agree.

[exitseven]

I don't know. I don't even want to think about it.

[Drumlin2001]

Yep. After a few months I'd move on.

[jamesgoldman]

No, they'd be my late partner or wife

[DrPepper12]

I don't know. Good question. Probs.

[LiamJHayden]

She would be my late girlfriend.

[DextroShade]

You call them your late.

[sheenagwapa]

no you don't

[Agape93]

Yeah, they're dead.