I broke up with the guy I have been seeing for almost 4 months. I am in love with him but I walked away for some reasons. I wrote a long message and ended there. It’s been almost a week and he texted me and wanted to meet me at a restaurant. I met him and we talked and he apologized. Said he read my long message three times but was unsure of what to say to me without causing me further hurt.
We had a long talk and he told me made an account on a dating site the day after we broke up. He had talked to one woman and it did not work out. He said he thought more about what he wanted with a woman and that when he thought about I came to mind. That everything he wanted I had. He told me missed me and thought about me but again didn’t think I ever wanted to talk to him again and didn’t want to hurt me further.
Guys, is it normal after a breakup you go on dating sites to try and move on seek validation or get an ego boost? I made a dating account only a week after we broke up as a way to push him out of my thoughts (not the healthiest way to cope but it’s what I did). Can a guy really realize what he lost when he starts to talk to other women or do you sometimes return to a relationship because it’s easier?
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It's hard to say for sure what he's thinking. On the one hand, it could be that talking to that other girl made him realize what he really wants is to be with you. Like maybe she wasn't as cool or he missed your connection. So that could be a sign he really does wanna get back together.
But at the same time, I wouldn't be too quick to trust that it's not also about finding someone easy now that you're not an option. Some guys will say anything to get a girl back, even if they're not fully committed. I think it's suspicious he was on a dating site so fast after your breakup. Kinda seems like he wasn't that serious about working things out if he was already looking for someone new.
I'd say keep your guard up for now. Make him prove he's really changed and wants to put in the effort. Don't just jump back into a relationship right away. See how he acts over time - is he consistent, or will he freak out and run again the next time things get hard? Pay attention to any red flags. And don't be afraid to stand up for yourself this time! You deserve someone who treats you right. Hopefully it works out, but go slow and look out for yourself first.
He said he deleted the dating app, but I’ve seen him add some random girls on his instagram that live in the same city.
Ugh that's sketchy as hell. I wouldn't be trusting him too much if I was you. Saying all the right stuff about wanting you back but then adding random girls on Instagram? That's like freakin' Dating App 101 behavior right there.
I'd be willing to bet money those aren't actually "random" girls either. My guess is he was talking to them from the dating app before he "deleted" it. Probably deleted the app but kept chatting with some girls on the side. Super shady.
I wouldn't blame you at all if you're having major doubts now. Actions gotta match the words, and his actions ain't it so far. I'd say don't rush back into anything serious with this dude until he proves he's really serious about changing. No more sneaky social media shit either. He's gotta earn your trust back. If I was you I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him right now. Watch his moves close before committing again, Queen.
he wants you