Me male 27 her female 33?

[dddd567]

My girlfriend is in California dealing with medical issues with her son she is donating stem cells and her kidney to him before she left everything was great and even in the beginning of her being gone but stress had been getting to her and I’ve been nothing but supportive. Well 2 days ago she said she’d like to pause the relationship to focus on her son which should be the priority. And she’s been getting beaten down by life in general. Also she won’t be back for 4-5 months depending on how everything goes

she said she’s being smothered by everything and she feels guilty and selfish she can’t be present in the relationship and it’s not fair to me

Long story short should I trust her word that we will make a come back or should I just end it. Do breaks work? Again her son is basically dying so I very much doubt she’s cheating or anything. But example she freaked out on me a day ago cause I asked for clarification on the break due to it being a first for me and hours later she says she hopes I had a great day like no no I didn’t have a great day cause we are on a break.

Please help is it over do I take a chance that when everything settles or when she’s back it’ll go back to being us or should I just end it

[HaleyWalker]

Personally I think this situation is weird, I am a patient with the sick kids organization.

The first thing I've noticed that was weird, 4-5 months. When I had a heart transplant that was my recovery time. I had to look this next part up but a kidney transplant is like 6 to 8 weeks. Last time I checked four to five months is almost half a year.

On top of that she isn't actually the patient so I don't know why she's as stressed out. He's making it seem like she's the patient or something when she isn't on top of her being healthy her own recovery times probably going to be even quicker. Wouldn't even surprise me if she doesn't have to do physical therapy. A lot of the time my parents didn't even have to be at any of the meetings with the doctors or specialists let alone any of the physical therapy. Yes if they want to they can but it's not required.

I don't think she's cheating I just think she's over playing her stress, if I was her kid I would actually be embarrassed. I was playing Grand Theft Auto whenever I didn't have physical therapy or appointments. I didn't end my friendships with anybody.

What I would do is since you won't know that much about it do, research on end of Life Care. Once you have a good understanding ask her if her son is going through end of Life Care because according to her he's dying. If she hesitates and doesn't understand what that means. It would be very odd.

Regarding if you keep the relationship going or break it off that is entirely up to you.

[dddd567]

Her son is 6yesrs old should’ve stated that and 2 years ago his body stopped producing stem cells and that’s causing his kidneys to shut down well they don’t work he is on dialysis which I’ve seen with my own eyes. When they got out there he started having seizures which pushed everything back. She is like the Cinderella of her family she has to do everything basically her father is falling apart and relapsing on alcohol due to her mom being in Cali with her and her mom is done and wants a split. Her son is doing chemo to wipe his immune system so his body can accept her stem cells then they have to wait a certain period to see if anything happens and if everything is good then she’s donating one of her kidneys to him I’ve seen the struggle she goes through and before she left she said we are so close to fixing you it was heart breaking

She is under a lot of stress and I’ve been nothing but supportive I’m not down her throat I allow her space and time

I don't know if when all this is said and done if we will pick up where we left off or if a break is a breakup she keeps saying she feels selfish and guilty and she feels bad she can’t be in the relationship and it’s hurting her so I don't know if I should believe that or end things and let her focus on her son

[dddd567]

And I’m asking cause I don't know if she’s going through hell and if she’s sad and worried about her son and that’s the issue and or if she fell out of love I’m in the dark

[dddd567]

And I know I’m not even in Cali we live in North Carolina but a relationship is meant for hard times and support not breaks during rough times in someone’s life

[HaleyWalker]

I thought he was going to be closer to my age, he is not he is 6 years old so yeah. Unfortunately I cannot morally give my opinion or a suggestion or what I think about this. My opinion is useless and does not apply.

[dddd567]

Should I stick it out

[HaleyWalker]

With all due respect I don't even think you have the right to ask that at this point not to me but like in general. A lot of shit has changed ever since finding out he's six she told you what she wants that's all I'm saying. Didn't even want to say that and reply but there

[handsomelad70]

Her son, dying or healthy, SHOULD be your girlfriend's main priority as a mother. That's why lads should think hard about being in a relationship with a mother.

[dddd567]

And I have and she claims she feels guilty when she doesn’t text me even though I’ve said many times your son comes first and I send one good morning text and then allow her to respond or not whenever she’d like I’m not trying to take focus away from her son

[handsomelad70]

Sorry, dddd567.

[Anonymous]

Are you smothering her? Why would she want to pause a relationship? You can be supportive of her and add to the relationship

[dddd567]

No I am not I’ll send a good morning message to her hope she has a good day hope you slept good love you then allow her to reach out so no I am not

[Opinion Owner]

Then I don’t understand why she would do this. It’s not like you’re trying to grab her and take her away from her job that she has to deal with her son.

[strateguy632]

yes it is over