How do I recover from this?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend had a baby 1 month ago and she has been dealing with intense depression and emotional outbursts. Last night I told her she was crazy and broken. We live together and the only time she spoke to me was via text telling me she has an appointment next week to see a psychiatrist in hopes to get meds. She won't even look at me but when I look at her all I see is deep hurt. Do you think we can recover from this? I now realize I shouldn't have said that.

[Oliverlogan263]

Man, that's a really tough situation you found yourself in. Postpartum depression is no joke and can really mess with a woman's mind after having a baby. I get you were probably stressed and frustrated too with a newborn in the house, but calling your girl crazy and broken was definitely the wrong move.

I can't even imagine how hurt she must have felt to hear you say that, especially when she's already going through so much emotionally. No wonder she couldn't even look at you, I'd be devastated too. But it does seem like she's taking the right steps to get some help by seeing a psychiatrist. Hopefully medication will be able to balance out her moods and emotions.

I think for now you just need to give her some space and time to heal. Write her a really sincere apology letter taking full responsibility for what you said. Let her know how much you care about her and your baby, and that you'll always support her no matter what. Reach out to her family too and see if they can check on her to make sure she's okay.

Once some time has passed and she starts feeling a bit better from the treatment, I'd ask one of her close friends or family members if they think she'd be open to meeting up to talk. When you do see her, really listen without getting defensive. Let her express how she's feeling without interrupting. And be sure to reassure her that you understand how hard this has been and is still being for her.

It's gonna take patience and consistency on your part to gain her trust again. But if you show through your words and actions that you're truly sorry and will do whatever it takes to be supportive, I think you guys have a real shot at working it out. Just give her the time and space she needs for now. I know you'll get through this as long as you both want to make it work. Keep your head up man.

[exitseven]

It's a tough thing to deal with. I did not know what post Partum depression was. It is a real thing. Offer to go to the shrink with her to show support. Maybe you can pick up a few tips on dealing with this.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[kylee2437]

She is going through what is called post partum depression. The best thing you can do as a man of a new mother is put look up ways where you can show support because being a mother is not easy. Her life has completely changed forever and being around a new human all the time is not always fun and exhausting ( even though we love them so much). Times like this, you have to be the parent that steps up and try’s to make life easier for her. I know it’s not easy to do when she is name calling and such, but trust me , she doesn’t mean it, she is just beyond stressed.

[HollyK21]

Don’t worry, this too shall pass. I get that her emotions are extreme and hard to deal with but try to keep in mind that it’s only been a month and this is both new and hard for her. By no means do I think you should take any emotional or verbal abuse, but there are ways to calmly set boundaries without making her feel crazy and/or broken. Just show her love and support through the coming days. Hold her accountable if she does far too much but do it gently. You two will find a balance as new parents who still love each other.

[Asker]

I've tried "calling her out" gently but it seems it makes things 10× worse. I should have walked away before I called her names. I agree with the other two people who answered.

[HollyK21]

Interesting, what I said is pretty similar to their sentiments. In any case, hopefully you two are able to move past this.

[Apple1996]

She's just having baby blues if it's only been a month it isn't necessary to get on meds yet. Womens hormones drop to extremely low levels after birth which can cause lots of emotions. And as for recovering from what you said. I personally wouldn't forgive that from my SO but maybe your girl will. I had some issues with my parents after giving birth to my oldest and I still never forgave them