How can I heal from this? Was I wrong in my reaction?

[sunshineflowers789]

I had been seeing this guy for about 6 weeks. Him and I had a history prior to this for about 2 years, and I think he knew my feelings for him had never really gone away. Things never ended well between us before, but he reached out to me again 6 weeks ago asking to be friends. However, we weren’t really acting like friends. We were having sex, and he would tell me he loved me all the time. We would talk every single day, too. I however knew he didn’t want a relationship with me because we had that conversation. So, on a day that we had plans to go out to a party together with friends, I told him that I couldn’t keep being intimate with him because it was hurtful to do so whilst knowing he doesn’t want to be with me. He was understanding and we ultimately agreed we’d stay friendly with one another and still go to the party but keep our distance. Shortly prior to the party, he called me to let me know he’d be bringing a “friend” to the party, meaning a girl, and asked me if I was okay with that…? I got extremely mad and told him that that was super disrespectful of him to do so. It ended up in a huge fight and I ended up spamming his phone and insulting him a lot. I felt super bad about it and suggested we talk on the phone to mend things with one another. We spoke over the phone and he was being so harsh to me the entire time. He was extremely opposed to mending things with me and basically told me that him and I were not exclusive and that he was allowed to bring anyone he wanted around me, especially since I had “ended” things with him. He told me I was an unstable person who made a big deal out of everything, and that I was absolutely not the type of person he’d ever want in his in his life. I ended up hanging up on him and just blocking his number. I feel horrible that we went from having fun together to him essentially hating my guts and wanting me out of his life. I also feel horrible for insulting him and spamming him.

[SueShe]

Apparently, your reaction about him bringing a girl to a party is the one of a person that still has feelings for him and that did not really accept that the "relationship" ended, even though you were the one ending it.

It is always a problem when you have friendships that are solely on a fornication basis. You allow feelings to interfere even though you know there should not be any since you have this consensus with the partner that copulation will be the only part that will be acceptable.

Now, you did overreact of course and he was obviously in his right to bring anyone he wishes to that party since you have had your talk and made it clear that there is nothing anymore going on between you and him.

Obviously, your actions speak a totally different language than your thoughts and to be honest, your behavior was rather childish and immature.

[SueShe]

I forgot to add that the only way for you to heal is to forget about him, an friends with benefits relationship, a casual or platonic friendship because he has seen what you were capable of when angry.

Get over that adventure and learn from your experience for future relationships.

[IslaTheWitch]

being friends means being friends... you told him - "no more sex" so he found another plaything...

so... first... if you make any arrangements be conscious about details... he might know about your feelings, but you never were a real couple... friends aren't exclusive, so... you have to be aware that he can be with other people...

so yes, you overreacted... because you like him and you want more from him...

so now look at this situation and realize it won't be any easier for you if you stay in contact with him... cut it off, mourn it and move on... there are other men waiting to be discovered by you...

[Billlewis]

No, you were 100% right in your response.

[Anonymous]

What did u insult them?