Boyfriend doesn't want his ex to know anything about us?

[Anonymous]

He said she's vengeful and he doesn't want her trying to ruin our relationship. He said when we get married he will post us. Is this a red flag or do people hide new relationships from crazy exs?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that is a little odd that he wants to hide your whole relationship from his ex. I could understand not wanting her on social media, but to not tell her at all that he's moved on seems shady. A few thoughts on this:

- If she's really that "vengeful" why does he care so much about what she thinks? That's a red flag that she still has some hold over him.

- If the relationship is serious, why wouldn't he want her to know he's found someone new? That shows he's moved on.

- Waiting til marriage to "go public" is a long time to stay hidden. Seems more like he doesn't want her or others to know how serious you guys are.

- A normal ex might be annoyed at first but would get over it as long as he's upfront. His reaction seems over the top.

I'd say have a real talk with him about why her opinion matters so much still if she's truly an ex. Set some boundaries that you'll feel comfortable being acknowledged as more than a secret after dating awhile. If he blows it off or gets defensive, that shows he's probably not fully over her yet. Proceed with caution!

[Anonymous]

Just sounds like a dumb excuse to hide you from her and keep presenting himself as single. Imagine being trapped in a marriage and still not being posted but instead hidden, you’d never get over it.

[Copy_Cat]

Mmm I think you should find someone better who will post you now. He might be with the female he claims to be his ex. I would get out of this situation so quick.

[DishLady]

If he's hiding you from people he's shady.