It’s been over 6 months is that normal?

[LostandFound__x]

More than 6 months since the guy I liked (and who I was pretty sure was into me too) ended things with me.

I can’t seem to find anyone else interesting and I haven’t been on a single date or spoken to a single guy on that level since.

I just really miss him and I still feel upset about us ending things every night.

I realise we never dated but we liked each other for 2 years until we finally started talking and showing we cared for each other.

Will things get better?

[HollyK21]

Maybe you should stop making him the standard. Like I totally understand what you’re going through, I’ve been there before, but how can you move on when you’re intentionally (or unintentionally) looking for him in other men? That’s an impossible standard because no one will ever be him.


I think what you should start doing instead is take a thing or two that stood out most to you with him, and look for just that. For example, I appreciated that my ex was consistent with his efforts and was a hard worker, so those became my standard going forward. Very simple without giving my ex permanent, rent free residency in my head.

[LostandFound__x]

Okay. I guess I appreciated that he was gentle and kind and a hard worker too.

[DishLady]

What did you end if you were never dating? You need to get up and move on. You don't have an alternative. Moping like this is non-productive.

[LostandFound__x]

How do I get up and move on? I have no interest in anyone 😭

[lightbulb27]

yes they will but I think girls whom are more emotional oreinted get "stuck" and takes longer to process and move on. I know someone else (young woman) stuck on a guy and she just won't let go.. I understand why, can explain it... but that is not the same as accepting and letting go of the emotional connection... which can be painful. That stuff... is locked up in the sub conscious mind.

If you find yourself dwelling and reprocessing a lot, then you may need help processing this and making sense of it to move on. I can write down basic processes for that, but therapy may be in order as well, which can be done variety of ways.

[TommyMountainFigure]

You are in control of your own destiny. Things will get better when you decide that you want them to..
I don't mean a single gay of your dreams will suddenly appear in front of you, but your mindset has to change.
That is to say, you have to work on training yourself to accept 6 months is long enough, and when the thought of him pops in your head, you say 'no' and fight the urge to let him stay there!

[LostandFound__x]

Okay thank you

[TommyMountainFigure]

Oh my goodness.. I meant 'guy' lol up there

[TommyMountainFigure]

And you're very welcome.

[LostandFound__x]

Haha

[Finchie40]

What was his reason to end it with you?

[LostandFound__x]

He didn’t tell me. He just told me that sometimes liking someone isn’t enough.

[Finchie40]

That sadly sounds like a lame excuse , well his loss

[LostandFound__x]

Thanks

[Finchie40]

No problem, my guess is he was dating someone else as well and weighing his options

[Skinhead-1979]

You are still grieving; and everyone grieves differently.

Now, after 4.5 years, I am slowly but surely getting over my ex despite her having emotionally abused and manipulated me over a period of 11 years (not including the 3 years of grooming).

She presented herself as everything I had ever dreamed of, and despite destroying me behind my back and turning everyone against me, she kept pretending she loved me (love and affection became a regular thing in the last years because she had to hide the fact that she was grooming my successor).

I've known for 10 years that she was planning for the day to get rid of me... yet when she finally did I was devastated and I attempted suicide for the first time.

Even now, 4.5 years later, that I have finally gotten to the point that I want to have nothing to do with her... I still miss the person whom she pretended to be and she's still in my head.

[NathanDavis]

anything from 6 to 9 months was completely normal for me to get to know someone new... I even thought it could be too soon, lol

but I don't usually go dating either... of you spent good time with yourself and on your own... then it is worth and it is a good thing that you did too

[ChicoFromThe305]

Yea things will get better and either ways it's not recommended to look for someone else when you are still caught up on someone else, time heals all wounds, it will just be a lot faster if you stop keeping up with his life.

[LostandFound__x]

That’s true. I need to stop looking at his photos and our chats lol.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Yep i knew it, once you said 6 months I was like "this girl is all over his page" 😂

[LostandFound__x]

🤣🤣🤣 I totally am

[ChicoFromThe305]

Lol.

[TonyMetal___86]

If things were working allright than why the break up?

Sometimes people make wrong decisions and if both are still interested in each other than yes it might work again...

[LostandFound__x]

He wouldn’t tell me why but it was his decision and I have to respect it

[TonyMetal___86]

I see, then there was a problem, no one leaves without a reason but he chose not to tell you, when it's done this way than things might be harder because one side wants to be back while the other doesn't want to...

Maybe if you knew the real reason than you wouldn't have thought about him again or still had feelings for him...

A person must be honest with the other, that's if he 's truly seeking for s serious relationship!

[LostandFound__x]

yeah exactly! And I know he liked me. I was certain.

[In_Trance]

This is ridiculous. 2 years and nothing happened? What were you even doing?
Of course he's going to move on at least one of you did.

[LostandFound__x]

Well to be fair he was really shy for most of it lol

[MrGSpotHer]

It's depends on who you ask some people don't have a lot of dates and this kind of stuff outhers are always meeting different people for sex

[LostandFound__x]

I’ve never been the kind of person to just from one person to the other.

[MrGSpotHer]

Good thing I think

[LostandFound__x]

Yeah

[HawkPerception]

I've also been single for 6 months, but not because I couldn't find anyone interesting. There was a girl I was interested in, but she ghosted me

[RavVid]

With that guy or somebody else? I think the chances are slim with the first guy.

[Friendlybro79]

Things will get better and this too shall pass. Keep an open mind and an open heart and you will be more than fine.

[PeterLegg91]

He clearly doesn't care or misses you , do the same :( or tell him how much you miss him :( I miss my ex girlfriend

[Starrrboy]

The only thing that would erase all that is dating someone...

[rosemilk]

6 months? start worrying when it becomes like 3 years. you'll be fine

[noohair]

You need to speak to him. Use small words, speak slowly and say nothing that is ambiguous.

[KostasKouvalis]

I'm sorry 😞 Anything I can do to help?

[LostandFound__x]

Thank you!