What does it mean if no one can tell my ex and I are separated/broken up?

[Anonymous]

My ex (30M) and I (29F) have been broken up and separated for over 2 years now... we currently coparent 2 young children and still see each other on a regular basis. We both attend our childrens' extracurricular sports & classes, school events, and go out "as a family" from time to time. I understand that people have different coparenting relationships but for us, whenever we meet new people or other parents, they are always shocked to find out my ex and I aren't together. What does this mean and why is that? Him and I do not partake in any form of physical contact.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that is kinda weird that nobody can tell you guys aren't together still. I mean I guess it makes sense people would be confused since you're always together with the kids and stuff.

A couple possibilities for why it might seem like you're still a couple though. One is just habit - after being together so long, you're probably still pretty comfortable around each other like a boyfriend/girlfriend would be. Little things like making eye contact when you talk, joking around together, stuff like that.

The other, and maybe more likely option, is that one or both of you still has some unresolved feelings lingering. Even if you don't do anything physical, there could be subtle chemistry or tension people are picking up on. Like the way you look at each other when you think the other isn't noticing.

Or it might just be you're so in sync co-parenting that you come across like a team. But really it's anyone's guess without seeing you guys interact.

Either way, don't read too much into what others think. As long as you and your ex are clear on being broken up, that's all that matters. Maybe just be aware of the signals you're sending in case it is accidentally giving people mixed messages!

[Summeroflove]

People like to spread roomers as soon as they see two people together they just assume they’re back together.

It just means you’re both mature adults and hopefully still good friends. It’s important to have both parents in a kids life. If you explain this to people and they keep spreading roomers it’s a problem.

What is right for some people isn’t right for everyone. I’m glad you’re doing what you can for your children because the children are what matter the most.

[rosemilk]

i guess people just think that divorced couples have to hate each other, look at them with pure disdain, and certainly not go out together as a family.

but honestly i think you both are doing fantastic if you two are so involved like you mentioned.

[Anonymous]

It could be your relative or guy friend standing in his place, regardless people usually assume a man and woman with kids in a public setting are together. Not sure why but it happens all the time.