So, my boyfriend of 3 months and I broke up last week. It was a mutual break up, initiated by him telling me his doubts about the relationship. The main ones being that he feels he is not ready for a relationship because he feels he can't make me happy when he can't make himself happy.
Anyways, he has initiated contact 3 times after we broke up, after I stopped contacting him and gave him space. He has even expressed regret with breaking up.
Now I have come to find out from his mom (she loves me and texts me quite often... kinda weird I know), that he hasn't told her that we broke up. He helps support his mom so he lives with her at the moment and he typically tells her everything so she found that odd. Also, last night, she overheard him talking about a story I told him to his brother. His brother asked him if he was talking about "his Nicole" and he said yes. So now he is even saying that we are still together?
Don't get me wrong, I care about him and I want to get back together, but I am just confused why this is happening when he initiated the break up. So, intelligent people of GAG, what is happening?
One thing I have learned from those articles is that when a guy tells you he misses you, he is still interested and may possibly want to get back together. So this combined with all of the above means he wants to get back together?
Most Helpful Guy
I don't think he wanted to break up with you. And whatever breakup it is he doesn't want it to be official. Sounds he wants more so to take a break between you two not because of anything you did but more so for him to collect his thoughts and have space for a little while. The fact that he's not going around telling everyone flaunting your breakup says something. That probably means he doesn't want it.
A second possibility this could be is its a test. Girls do this mostly but guys can do it too when they re insecure about something. And that's temporarily breaking it off with someone to see how much they care and like you. So, if someone readily go along with the breakup then that tells the person they don't care. If they're upset then they do.
It could very well be both of these. He needs space but also wanted to see how you react. This guy obviously still likes you I think and regrets breaking up with you. But might be just emotional unavailable and "confused" at the moment but probably not for long. Guys get emotional too they just don't show it. My advice to you is give him his space but periodically let him know you care and still like him and that your not okay with the breakup and want him back. But be subtle about it...dont pressure him. But girls make the mistake many times in this situation to completely stop talking to the person. And well its very easy to take that as rejection then you resent that person and talk to someone else. Or the other extreme ...pressuring the guy for a relationship. It just comes down to ...I think its nothing personal with you...he likes you but doesn't think he is mentally ready to meet your expectations . But I mean that's what he thinks. If he did make you happy and it wasn't a problem...then tell him! But don't try to rush things back or you might stress him and he'll back away. That's what I'd do.