My ex broke up with me, but now may want to get back together. Do I tell him if I was with someone when we were split?

[Anonymous]

My ex broke up with me after two years. I was very much still in love with him and was absolutely devastated for two months or so but after about five months and with very minimal contact with one another I started to see someone else in an effort to force myself to see a life without him. Was this healthy or fair to the other guy? No, but it’s what I did. I was attracted to how special this new guy made me feel as my ex had not tried in the relationship for a long time before we split. I slept with this new guy once after he had taken me out for the third time. I realized, however, I did not truly care about him or want to be with him as I was still not over my ex so I cut things off (we had only been seeing each other for maybe two weeks). About a week after this my ex texted me and we met up. He mentioned getting back together but seemed unsure about this decision so I said no because I didn’t want him to choose me just because he was lonely. Despite this, we started sleeping together again with the understanding that we were not getting back together right away. It has now been about 2.5 months and we are now living in different towns for the summer but still in communication. I know he wants to try again once we get back to campus but I feel guilty for having been with this other guy and don’t know if I should tell him or if telling him is just a way for me to stop feeling guilty. I know he has not been with anyone else and he takes sex very seriously so he will be disgusted that I was with someone else and he may never want to touch me again or at the very least resent me forever. I truly never thought he would be in my life again when I did it and was trying to move on with my life and finish grieving him. I do not want to start a relationship with him without being completely honest but also do not want to hurt him or ruin everything by telling him. If you were him would you want to know? Should I tell him, and if so how?

[Avicenna]

Well, you were not cheating on him by having sex with someone else after you broke up, so he would have no right to be angry or disgusted by it (if he is, that's on him), nor did you break up just to have sex with that person.

At the end of the day, it's up to you to decide if it's appropriate to volunteer that information. You should of course tell him the truth if he asks if you had sex with anyone else after the two of you broke up.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Yep you should tell him because if he has a problem with it and If he can't see you were not wrong, it's never going to work out between you.

Better you know now.

[Pterodon]

You will not reconcile and ride off into the sunset together and live happily ever after nor will you be friends even if he suggests or agrees to it. Never have anything to do with an ex. You’re fucking up just talking to him

[CentralPerk77]

That would likely cause issues unless you guys were in “the lifestyle” before