My ex broke up with me after two years. I was very much still in love with him and was absolutely devastated for two months or so but after about five months and with very minimal contact with one another I started to see someone else in an effort to force myself to see a life without him. Was this healthy or fair to the other guy? No, but it’s what I did. I was attracted to how special this new guy made me feel as my ex had not tried in the relationship for a long time before we split. I slept with this new guy once after he had taken me out for the third time. I realized, however, I did not truly care about him or want to be with him as I was still not over my ex so I cut things off (we had only been seeing each other for maybe two weeks). About a week after this my ex texted me and we met up. He mentioned getting back together but seemed unsure about this decision so I said no because I didn’t want him to choose me just because he was lonely. Despite this, we started sleeping together again with the understanding that we were not getting back together right away. It has now been about 2.5 months and we are now living in different towns for the summer but still in communication. I know he wants to try again once we get back to campus but I feel guilty for having been with this other guy and don’t know if I should tell him or if telling him is just a way for me to stop feeling guilty. I know he has not been with anyone else and he takes sex very seriously so he will be disgusted that I was with someone else and he may never want to touch me again or at the very least resent me forever. I truly never thought he would be in my life again when I did it and was trying to move on with my life and finish grieving him. I do not want to start a relationship with him without being completely honest but also do not want to hurt him or ruin everything by telling him. If you were him would you want to know? Should I tell him, and if so how?
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Why is my ex not telling people we broke up, and giving the illusion that we are still together?
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