It's been 7 months...why can't I move on from my ex? Please help me out?!?!

So as I said, its been 7 mths since my ex broke up with me. It was almost a year and a half relationship that was very intense, both in a good way and bad. We claimed we were each others "ones" and that we wanted to get married to each other. But I guess he just woke up one day and realized that he couldn't handle the relationship anymore.

Its been 5 or so months since our last contact. I HATE that I still miss him and HATE that I can't move on. He moved on very quickly and made a better life for himself (this is what he told me and what I assume...he lives hours away so I have no way of knowing for sure). I, on the other hand, feel like my life has gone down hill.

I have tried to move on and live my life. I go out with friends, and have even gone out on a few dates that never go anywhere Because the guys aren't what I'm looking for. Everything around me screams my ex. Its impossible not to go through a day without SOMETHING reminding me of him.

I would love to get back together, but know that that is not an option. I am smart enough to know that if he wanted to get back with me or if he ever wants to in the future, that he will contact me. and that if I do contact him, it most likely will only cause more hurt.

I know I need therapy as to figure out why I cannot get over him and move on and to why I would even want to go back to someone who was physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive towards me at times. I also need to learn how to get over my new insecurities, and distrust towards men now and how I can learn to love again and how to let someone love me. I have no insurance and have searched and searched for low cost counseling with no success.

I know I shouldn't be wasting my time thinking of the past or my ex since he clearly isn't doing the same. but how can you not? I loved this person, he was a big part of my life...and just like that he is gone from my life forever! My mom tells me "who knows the future. It may all work out in the end". But Its hard for me to believe in the whole "if its meant to be it will be".

Please help me out! I am TERRIFIED that I will never again meet someone who I will love as much as him. Right now I don't even get excited when it comes to meeting a new guy. I think 7 months is a long time when compared to how long it took my ex to move on (less than 1.5 months ) But do you guys think I need more time? should I continue to meet guys even tho my heart isn't into it? any advice, stories, opinions...would be very helpful. thanks for taking the time to read this
It's been 7 months...why can't I move on from my ex? Please help me out?!?!
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