Is it okay for a girl’s dad and brother to threaten or bully her boyfriend?

Question

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

It depends on why they are doing it. I would say no it's not okay just to do it

But that would be a lie.
My daughter called me one night and told me that her boyfriend had hit her. A little bit later my son had called me and said he just got done talking to his sister and told me what the same thing she told me.. I told him I have flight at 9 am I'm going to go see her he told me he wanted to come with me he's a fireman paramedic EMT he talked to his captain and got two days off he said because he knew I would get in trouble if I was there if I went alone lol. True story.

Anyway he got on the same flight as I did and we went to have a little chat with my daughter LOL but of course a chat with her boyfriend too

And I explained to him his future depending on how he was going to treat my daughter if they were still going to be together I explained to him if you have problems you walk away if you're angry you do not hit especially a woman that can't defend herself even though I know that she hit him back because she's not going to allow that to happen to wrongs don't make a right

And he was told that if he ever did it again that I would be back and my son said that he would beat me there and you would have to do with him and said if you think I'm kidding we can go out in the backyard right now the guy was told not to ever touch her again

That point shouldn't ever have to be brought to somebody's attention but sometimes it has to because a guy that hits a girl if he gets away with it he will do it again and again and that was not going to happen so yes in cases like this I believe it's okay for a father and a brother to have a chat with the boyfriend and let it be known what will happen if it's ever done again and he's lucky that he's getting this chance

LifeHitMeandRan · Accepted Answer

To some extent, yes.

What women consider "bullying" often times is simply us men setting the right tone to let a man know he better have his shit together and not fuck with the women in our family. That's just how men are wired. Women often get blinded by love and overlook major flaws in a mate that the men in their family will not. Vice versa for a man bringing a woman to his family. If I bring a woman to my family, my mom, grandma, aunt and cousins are going to check her to see if she is coming right. If they think I'm making a stupid choice in a woman, they will bluntly tell why.

HOWEVER, there needs to be some room for the boyfriend to be able to prove himself. If he has not done anything wrong, then he shouldn't be harassed too much.

Agape93 · Accepted Answer

Depends. I've threatened my friends partners before if I felt the need. I do it to make sure that person knows, hurting them will come with consequences they don't want and cops can't fix.

Calyptomaniac · Accepted Answer

Luckily my dad and brother are not like that and never did. If he did anything bad enough to deserve them intervening, I'd have been done with the guy before they needed to anyway.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

I’m here on GAG to help you decode relationships, drama, and all the messy red flags in between. 😉

No, it’s not okay. Threatening or bullying is emotional abuse and intimidation, not “protectiveness.” A caring family can ask tough questions, set boundaries, or express concern, but they don’t get to terrorize her boyfriend. That’s controlling, toxic, and a huge red flag for her freedom and future relationships.

AviatorTom · Answer

When my daughter started getting serious with a guy, I told him that he better take good care of her... Or else. That's not bullying or threatening. It's being a father. And he got the message.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Under some circumstances, yes.

molonski2 · Answer

This is a one worder..

NO

I have two daughters now grown women , when I was going though this as a 20 something, I was constantly threatened, ( different times ) but what absolute IDIOTS those various males were?
Shameful and idiotic frankly , thank Fork we have moved on from that..

HelpfulWoman_ · Answer

Only if they’re punishing him for the audacity of breathing air she owns, which is justifiable given men are basically violent toddlers with beards.

slatyb · Answer

No, threatening another person with violence is a crime. They are abusive to both you and your boyfriend. Are you living with them? If so, can you leave? If not, do you have to see them?

WhitneySnow · Answer

No, not unless they feel like he’s an imminent threat to her safety and she’s a minor. And even then, sounds kind of sus. What’s going on?

lilBigPotato · Answer

Obviously not unless he's treating her shit.

Smileygirl2000 · Answer

More context is needed. Is he mistreating her? What's the reason for the bullying?

LiamJHayden · Answer

It is fine and even normal if the threat is veiled and limited to "If you ever lay hands on my daughter/sister..." I do that for my brotherless female friends.

MrChinaski · Answer

Maybe a little more information would be helpful

_Jenny_ · Answer

@badgirlrebellious they are being protective

Anonymous · Answer

most likely its because he is a shitty guy. Girl is blinded by love and doesn't see him for who he really is.

jamesgoldman · Answer

Sure, that's part of the process of dating isn't it?

Paige2006 · Answer

Not if the guy is treating their sister or daughter badly

Iron_Man · Answer

Well if he’s been beating the daughter, what would you think’s gonna happen

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Nope, not okay at all! There might be reasons anyways...

Staximus · Answer

If the guy is a piece of shit then yes, if he’s a good guy then no

SkimmingDetective · Answer

No it's not. I would hit them back if they ever did that to my boyfriend.

msc545 · Answer

No, it is not okay at all to threaten or bully anybody for any reason.

Mathiew · Answer

I would say to my daughter to not meet him anymore. Should be enough normally because, normally, I have a high notoriety in town.

MasterKS · Answer

If she is an adult they don't have rights to do.

exitseven · Answer

It;s almost a prerequisite.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

If he did something stupid or out of line? Yeah

Anonymous · Answer

No. It gives “we own our daughter’s 🐱”

Wodens_Apprentice · Answer

Yes absolutely.

CubaPirate · Answer

The hell no unless he's an asshole to her

beenherebefore · Answer

No, it's not.

Is it okay for a girl’s dad and brother to threaten or bully her boyfriend?

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Is it okay for a girl’s dad and brother to threaten or bully her boyfriend?

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