My ex broke up with me because he’s in deep depression, how do I know he isn’t just using it as an excuse?

[Anonymous]

My ex broke up with me after a few days of officially dating due to being deeply depressed. His divorce finalized in may this year. Our best friends hooked us up thought we’d be a good match and we have kids. We instantly connected talked daily all day for 2 weeks then went on a date. Bought roses. asked me to be his girlfriend same night. after a few days in he seemed off, very stressed out. Noticed he started to do the “fade out” I asked him if we were ok he said “I think so, but I’m not”. I have confirmation from multiple people who say he isn’t in love with his ex. They think it’s because he’s now living with his sister, waiting for a contract to go through on a house he put on offer on. he needs to find himself. Our friends told me he did have a “hoe phase” but dropped them all for me. I’m the first girl he was actually interested in dating. But he has demons that he is trying to overcome first. when he gets depressed it’s dark. I don’t understand why he even considered dating me if he already knew the state he was in. I asked him if he was happy with me and he said I don't know I’m not happy with anything right now. Then went on to say “I like you but I think you deserve better than me/I’m just in a dark place/I’m not ready/I’m sad all the time. He said I’m sorry (a lot) I didn’t mean to hurt you or want to hurt you. We still talked all day the next 2 days after the somewhat break up. Basically saying I was hurt confused and couldn’t stop crying. He kept saying I’m really sorry it had nothing to do with me he’s just in a bad place right now & that he still wants to be friends & he’s always here if I need him. kept saying I hope ur ok & to not cry or worry about him. We’ve agreed to meet in person to talk/breakup. We still show as in a relationship on FB and he’s still liking all my new pics I post and some random posts. I’ve heard every lie in the book how do I know if he’s actually being honest or just wants to go back to hoe phase bc he lost interest?

[MindYourEyes]

It probably weighs heavily on him to where it’s hard for him to focus on the relationship. It’s possible he realized he didn’t want to burden you or just feels the need to tackle it on his own and can get a clearer mind set on what he wants. he's not happy with himself so maybe how can he be happy with someone else? I was also in a similar situation where I did try but my past and depression keeps me from being open to love. It’s like I realized I want to be happy, confident and secure with myself because I gained it. But I don’t want to rely on someone else to give that to me. I have yet to accepted these flaws but it has taken over my life. I want it to be Where it’s there but I know how to handle it in a healthier way. And maybe he doesn’t and just needs the time to work on those demons.

[R3DthatDude]

Seems like he is going through some stuff, like divorce and that thing with his house. That’s painful. Give him som space but check up on him every now and then to make sure he is okay

[MannMitAntworten]

Nope, depressed folks behave exactly in this way... they just shut down and shut you out. One moment you both are cloud 9, the next you are set out with the rubbish.