Ex almost acting as if we were never together and is almost going out of his way to hang out online, why is he doing this?

[Anonymous]

My ex broke up with me about a month ago. We had a pretty great relationship and were discussing a future together. Until the topic of moving in together came up.

He was talking about getting married and moving in until it started to become a reality.

The break up was pretty awful and I can safely say I didn’t deserve it. Over text and then ghosted me for a week. We met up in person once and he didn’t want to work things out. Went no contact for a week after.

Now he keeps showing up in online social areas I’m in and responding to things I’m saying and jumping into group calls while playing games with mutual friends. He goes out of his way to talk to me, joking around, being friendly, teasing me, but over the top. Like, it’s awkward and our friends have taken notice to and are just as confused. He’s also been hanging out around me in the video games themselves.

Why is he doing this? He’s had no interest in messaging me privately or hanging out one on one either. We’re in our mid 30’s so this behavior is throwing me off.

Updates

1 y

I don’t know about that either. He hasn’t tried to speak with me privately or want to have alone time with me. He’s avoided any conversation about getting back together or the break up in general.

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, that's really messed up what your ex is doing. I can understand why it's got you so confused and annoyed. Breaking up over text after talking marriage and moving in together is bad enough, but then the way he's acting online since is really strange.

It really seems like he wants the attention of still hanging out with you and your friends, but without actually having to face you or deal with any real conversation about breaking up. Like he wants to pretend everything is normal even though he dumped you out of nowhere. That's super immature and unfair to do to you after being in a serious relationship.

My best guess would be he got cold feet when things were getting serious between you guys. Moving in is a huge deal, so maybe the reality of it all scared him off. But that's no excuse for how he ended things and is acting now. If he changed his mind about the breakup, he needs to actually talk to you about it privately instead of just popping up online where it's easier because he doesn't have to look you in the eye.

I know it must be so confusing to have him ignore you one minute and then tease you and butt into conversations the next when you're all hanging out together. That's just messy and playing games. You deserve better than that, especially from someone you thought cared about you.

If I were you, I'd call him out directly next time he pulls that stuff online. Let him know it's not cool to ditch you and then act like you're still buddies whenever it's convenient for him. Get him to be straight with you about what he really wants so you aren't left wandering what's going on. I know confrontation sucks, but you need closure.

And if he keeps dodging a real talk, then don't give him the time of day when he pops up. Easier said than done, I know, but you don't need that kind of nonsense in your life. You'll find someone better who isn't afraid of commitment and will treat you with respect. Hang in there!

[teamvic]

Ahh sounds like either who he was with didn't work out or he realized he wants to be with you now and is trying to get you back currently

Or both

[Asker]

There isn’t another person, I’ve confirmed that with both him and other people in his life. His family still keeps in touch

[teamvic]

Then it's option two