How could I restart my life without hurt?

[Anonymous]

We broke up 2 years ago.. he cheated on me after 7 year relationship and left me for her

He is now with her living his best life and i still feel hurt.. crying.. feeling like a loser..

What should i do

I am 31 years old and i feel like i will not find love again

[lightbulb27]

normal feelings. draw from strength of others

My wife's X husband dumped her and it was intentional torture by cheating to get divorced. He was in essence, being selfish. Two kids and life was good.. until it was a disaster. She ran to safety, took months to recover, figure things out, deal with the emotions, and start over. She started over in a tiny hole in the wall apartment. Lucky for her, she had lots family support. NOT! Tears. Imagine your parents blaming YOU for the failure of your marriage. Where did she go for solace? The young children suffered without their mother for months. Her mother told her she'd never find anyone because of her personality... so did the fortune teller. Now that is crushing... or is it a motivator?

My point is that yea it's painful, it's wrong, it's unfortunate, but as well leads to what is next. In some sick way... it's good.. if can get to the other side of it. It's communicating to you that you need to face a challenge with courage, make change, and renew and grow again. It does not mean you are worthless and not good enough. Looking at the truth, what happened, learning from it so you are better and choose better... working on yourself... gain whatever value you can from it.

It doesn't take an evil person to do this, just a selfish one, immature one.

Here's another example of a guy that went the wrong way.

https://edition.cnn.com/entertainment/live-news/liam-payne-death-one-direction-10-17-24-intl

That is the wrong thing to do... take drugs to numb the pain of life. Best to accept the emotional pain is real, listen to it as messenger, and face the truth... and change. I can only hope we are all strong enough, grounded enough to get through our next challenges in life... or that there is sufficient support. There are always challenges. So pray for better, be thankful for what you have now, and have hope for renewal and new love.

So my wife went on GAG and learned, survived, grew... we met, are married, and life is going well. Her damaged kids have recovered and the kids are better off having me in their lives for their father is very stressful, I'm easy going. It worked out for the best, in some ways for all. I was alone and now I have a big family. My wife is the peace maker in the nuclear family, mentors siblings and others and the kids would be in a much worse place without her and me and what we've made.

I dont' have kids of my own, that is downfall. But those are consequences of my many failings... that I had to grow from

Go to church, find Jesus, heal, grow... let go, forgive, and get your life back on track.

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow that's really messed up what happened. I know it's probably really hard to not still feel hurt after everything you guys went through together. 7 years is a crazy long time to be with someone, so it makes sense it would take a while to get over it.

I can't believe he would do that to you after being together so long. You must have really cared about him and trusted him, so for him to break that trust and cheat on you, that's just an awful thing to do to someone. I wouldn't blame you at all for still feeling upset over it, I would be really hurt too.

But don't go thinking it was something you did wrong or that you're somehow a loser! You didn't do anything to deserve that. It says way more about his character than yours. He's the loser for treating someone as special as you like that. His loss, you know?

I know it probably doesn't feel like it, but 31 really isn't that old at all. You've got your whole life ahead of you still to find someone even better who will treat you the way you deserve. The next guy will be so lucky to have you. It might take some time, but once you're starting to feel less sad, maybe try putting yourself out there more. Join a club or sports team, meet new people through friends, try dating apps, whatever you think could help.

And in the meantime, take time to focus on yourself too. Do things you enjoy, spend time with people who make you happy. Hang out with your girls and have fun. The more you work on feeling better, the more ready you'll be when Mr. Right comes along. Please don't lose hope in finding love again. You've totally still got your whole life ahead of you. And hey, if you ever want to vent more about what happened or how you're feeling, I'm always here to listen, no judgement whatsoever. Just want you to feel better!

[SweetPi]

Here is a big wonderful caring hug! My ex did this and it cut so deeply. But you can recover and heal. Take time no looking them up!

Write a huge long letter expressing every feeling you have to him and burn it! Let those feelings go recover!

Focus on you and what ever you want. After my relationship nothing was the same even guy phrases would annoy me remind me so just ended up dating girls and so glad.

Your amazing and deserve to be happy some day you will have the family you dreamed of

[Fireguy17]

you will get through this, many of us have been through the same things.
I caught my ex-wife cheating on me, I had someone who I was going to ask to get married, but I caught her cheating.
Just get on with your life, don't dwell on his life or even see how he is doing.
You can never move on doing that.
Many years later my ex-wife reached out to me so we started talking about stuff, and it turns out she did not end up with the guy she was cheating on me with, he also got divorced, she got married to a guy that was fine at first but then was too lazy to work and instead went hunting and fishing all the time, had 2 good kids, and had to work her ass off the make ends meet.
I never knew any of this until then.
Why, because I just moved on.
The other one came into my work and I could sense that she wanted to get back together.
It turned out that the grass was not greener on the other side of the fence.
I did think long and hard but she never apologized for what she did, or even said that she messed up.
So I decided not to, and my life ended up great, I know nothing about hers.
Hopefully she is doing well, I do not wish bad things on anyone, Karma has a way of working things out.
So best advice, surround yourself with people you know and care about and keep moving forward.
Living in the past does not work out well.
Life truly is short, too short to dwell in the past.
Otherwise, you get left behind.

[Anonymous]

Get your life back in track. It's been two years. You need to do some work on yourself and be happy in your life. Then keep your eyes open for someone new.
And if at all possible, stop paying attention to what he's up to and comparing yourself with him.

[jahaims]

Go to therapy. You don't know how to process emotion if you are still on about it after 2 years.

[exitseven]

You gotta keep strokin

[Anonymous]

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