Will I ever move on from trauma and stop hurting?

[ElizaPam]

I have so much trauma because people have been so mean to me and bullied me for being trans and the way they talk to me is so mean and dehumanizing it makes me feel like I dont belong and like I shouldn't exist and I've been raped and especially when I had my virginity taken really hurts and I still cry thinking about it and I was with guys who were abusive to me and it just hurts to think about it all and I cry so much and hurt so much I wish I could make it stop

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Normally I try to avoid just suggesting therapy but in a case this traumatic, I think that might be the best option is to seek help from a pro.

If you can't for some reason, I've unfortunately never been able to get any therapy (psychotherapy is not popular here in Japan), but one of the best things that helped me get over a lot of my traumas growing up was studying about Stoicism, then later Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Buddhism.

At the heart of all of these philosophies is that how you think ultimately governs how you feel. So if you are prone to think very negatively, you will feel very negatively. If you are prone to think very positively and cheerfully, you will feel more positive and cheerful.

Also something that's difficult but I made peace with the idea that the world isn't fair. Good people sometimes get punished and bad people sometimes get rewarded. If we expect some type of cosmic justice, we are generally in for repeated disappointments. Yet if you make peace with that and let go of this heavy burden, you can focus on improving your life as best as you can.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Also even the words you use in your mind and spoken out loud can influence the way you feel. This is a relatively simple example and I don't mean to undermine your traumatic experiences with such a small example (it's just one I chose since it's easy to explain), but say you are having a really rough day.

If you tell yourself in your mind or out loud that the day is so "awful and stressful", you will tend to feel awful and stressed out. Yet if you just reframe that and challenge the negativity associated with those words and find a more positive word like, "challenging", that might not make you feel so awful or stressed out. It might even motivate you to keep going and face these challenges head on.

So even the very selection of words you use in your thoughts and spoken/written can deeply affect how you feel.

[TonyV]

If you want to move on yeah you can, but you won't just move you'll have to work for it, you'll have to want it.

The way you speak, "they bullied me" "they abused me" "they dehumanizing me". You internally talk as if others will always have power over you, you talk as if you never had power and will never have power, this leads to the victim hood mentality. Have you been the victim, yes but you don't have to keep being the victim. You can't change what's already happened but you can tell yourself, tell the world " I WILL NOT BE A VICTIM AGAIN"

You got to let some stuff go, start with the dehumanizing trauma. Anyone whoes been on a dating site has been dehuminzed, most women are sexualized or called to fat, most men are dismissed quickly over trivial shit like being less than 6 foot tall and the few giga Chad men are sexualized. We've all been rejected or used in a way that is dehumanizing,

[Anonymous]

You've been trying to deal with it through your own strength. But you need to turn to Jesus.

[Nice222]

I can only suggest what eventually I learned and that is that I couldn’t control what other people say and do, but I can control who I spend my time with and how I react to people around me.

[jahaims]

If you process it in a healthy manner sure

[msc545]

Please get some therapy.