Am I wrong 4 dumping a friend who was cheating on her husband 4 a year & shacked up with a new man?

Question

Apart from the immorality of it all I can think is that if she could do that to her husband who's a good guy, is a good far and was a good husband how could I trust her nor to screw me over. I mean she was taking her 3 year old to some guy's house she barely knew to cheat. She's keeping her husband away from her kids and is talking about how much alimony and child support she will get while having this new guy move in now playing daddy. Apparently this is all normal today and I seem to the only person shocked and not wanting to deal with her. She even got him arrested after he tried to see his kids and a restraining order in place. She wanted my husband and I to attend some bbq they were having in the summer, my husband was all 4 it but I was like no way. Have people no shame anymore?

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

no not at all.

I will caveat that... you don't know what it is like being married to him... and you don't know how truly difficult she is... for you never dated her. It sounds like a clash of extreme personalities. But that does not justify her cruel behavior. And people ask "why don't men want to get married and commit anymore"... we'll there you go. That guy is in true misery and suffering. Hope he has some support, but it won't change the reality of pain he is in for a long time.

What she is doing is pathetic as she is functioning as a home wrecker. Not just for him, but the children whom will grow up warped. So I don't blame you. But have I seen that happen before from "good" people. yep. Now thats "good" with a small "g"... in reality, they are screwed up people that simply don't want to face the changes they needed to make.

You can choose to be the friend that listens in detail to what is going on and provide guidance and provide perspective to guide her in right direction, and maybe the kids. As outsider, it is tough... and sometimes only tough love would work. I doubt she listens to anyone but herself. Or distance yourself from the cespool. It's a personal decision as to what crap you can handle and if you want to be involved with that.

I support your decision.

hahahmm · Accepted Answer

Not in my opinion. Nobody is perfect but you are not obligated to stay friends with someone. Just like if you were dating & you have the right to dump the other person for any reason or no reason. Same with friends. Also people tend to become more like the people they hang out with anyhow. It's very dangerous to be friends with someone who is doing something shady you don't want to be involved with.

As a guy... i'm pretty sure that if my friend started cheating on his wife he wouldn't even tell me about it so it would be a non issue between us. Now if he tried to get me to lie for him I would refuse tho.

MoonFace2 · Accepted Answer

There are two sides to every story. Cheating isn’t right, it’s true. But to get a restraining order out, there could be more going on than you know about. A lot more. Since you’re asking our I’m assuming honest opinions, I think you’re being a bad friend. You’re casting your friend as the bad guy because you don’t want to support her through the hard times. You don’t want the ugliness of it putting a damper on your own life. You are however, young and young people have difficulty seeing things beyond black and white. This is from what I see. As a one step removed person who’s had other ‘friends’ be the first to accuse and turn on me when my issues were messing up their happy little lives and someone more attractive and charming than me convincingly cast themselves as the victim. When I was actually the victim.

PBandJ_Nerd · Accepted Answer

I don't think it's wrong. Me & my friends had to cut off from an ex-friend simply because she wasn't only cheating on guys she dated, but that she wasn't as good of a person we thought she was. Your friend doesn't sound like that good of a person either honestly, so there's nothing wrong with cutting her off if you want to.

AviatorTom · Answer

You have the right to choose your friends, which includes the right to dump them.

RHK36 · Answer

Definitely not wrong. Throughout my life I've had to cut out friends and family that just didn't get that they were being awful people. I can't stand by them and act like we good when I don't condone behavior like that. I wish them the best, but it's also unhealthy for you to surround yourself with people that have bad intentions.

Bricealan · Answer

@gwendoline "Am I right or wrong" ? Your choice... Gwendoline... My first cousin cheated on her husband for years... maybe 10-15 years... because her husband lost all interest in sex. 🤷‍♂️Her husband was a successful chemist and made good money... People have their reasons for cheating... right or wrong. I can't judge because I cheated also on a long term girlfriend

DryGermanGuy · Answer

I witnessed a very similar story and remember the sick feeling I got in my stomach when I had to shake her hand. I couldn't even look at her anymore.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

That's fair. I'd stop associating with any of my friends if I found out they were cheating. If their partner didn't know I'd also tell them. Idc I don't want to be around people like that

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Probably not. She has to know she can't get away with that, or at least that you don't approve of it. It also reduces your trust in her and, who wants to be friends with someone they can't trust implicitly?

worldscolide · Answer

You're not wrong, your friend is a POS. Does her husband know?

Nonamez · Answer

Dump her and forget about her existence, cut all ties with her , she is bad woman , bad human , she is trouble and nothing else , you are very right with your decision 👀🙏

katiesmuff · Answer

You sound like a very smart young lady and did exactly the right thing.

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Were you friends with the husband? Sometimes you can’t be too judgy with friends

superchan2011 · Answer

No. Not at all. Sounds like you were in bad company. I would leave a friend like that too who had no moral fiber whatsoever

Anonymous · Answer

Nah, you're not wrong. It turns out that people that hang out with those who cheat or those who divorce are more likely to cheat or divorce themselves. So to the extent you can surround yourself with good people you're better off.

Sevenpointfive · Answer

she sounds like a really big loser. good riddance to the bitch!

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

You made the right choice.

Wiredone · Answer

You did the right thing. You don't need low life trash in your life

WhitneySnow · Answer

You’re married at 18? Wow. How old is your friend?

Notherndude84 · Answer

Sounds like a difficult situation, I’m sure you have reasons for distrusting her.

LiamJHayden · Answer

No. That level of betrayal could easily be turned against you. Better to keep your distance.

Dongie · Answer

Dump her? You should testify against her. She don't deserve her kids. Her kids deserve much better.

Slim57 · Answer

No, my girlfriends cousin just did the same to one of her friends who cheated on her husband

Wise4myage · Answer

I say they was a wise move on your part.

missindiana93 · Answer

No.. you didd the right thing.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

nah... exactly how to show you have morals

exitseven · Answer

No, you do not need friends like that.

Jennz6 · Answer

No you’re right

boggboss · Answer

Seems fine

Agape93 · Answer

Nope

Am I wrong 4 dumping a friend who was cheating on her husband 4 a year & shacked up with a new man?

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