How long did it take to unpack the stuff from your ex's house after a breakup?

[Lilbit84]

After a week and 3 days I finally was able to unpack my stuff the stuff I brought home from my ex's. It's been a rough breakup. I've not ever experienced any break up this hard. After sobbing in the floor and one moment I'm thinking I'm over it then here comes the waterfalls out of my eyes. Thought about somehow getting rid of the pain. trying so hard not to relapse.

Today I have been great until I read a quote that hit me again.. I have never read nor heard this until today. I wrote him a letter telling him about my feelings that I could not get out in words and I do better with writing things and it said in a sentence, "I know our relationship will not always be waterfalls, blue skies, and butterflies."

So why did the stupid quote have to say what I wrote in a letter? I was thinking is this a sign, that he maybe thinking about me or something. Or how do I take it. Well that voice I'm my head was tempting me to reach out to him and check on him because he is fighting demons him self. So I fought it and then went walking at my local park. Prayed about it and when I was done I felt a lot of weight released off me and went home and layed down. It was like God was telling me that he is going to handle it and to rest. Because that was probably a test just to see if I would finally give it up and give it to God. So just keep going an I take One day at a time..

[Finchie40]

Break ups can be hard, especially if you gave your heart to that person and they turned around and shit on it. There is really no set time limit on when you are able to move on and put them behind you , everyone grieves in different ways , some people take longer than others to get over someone. So don’t compare yourself to anyone else , your feelings are your feelings , Most people that go through a break up , tend to hold onto the good memories of that person over the bad memories , there will be a lot of things that you see or hear that will remind you of your ex. Like songs , or quotes , places you been together etc , our brains absorb so much things that we don’t really realize it’s absorbing most of the time. so when you love and care about someone we usually focus on the good times over the bad times , especially if you were together for a long time. If you were together for a long time , Then you are going to have more good memories than bad. especially if the bad didn’t really come until near the end of your relationship. Why it takes some people longer to get over someone. I know it’s easier said than done but somehow someway understand an ex is an ex for a reason , if they truly loved you and cared about you , they wouldn't be your ex period , they would of tried to fix what was broken between you both and not walked away , it also depends on who initiated the break up in the first place , if he broke up with you? Then understand he no longer wants to be with you , and he already has moved on , if you broke up with him , then you might have a chance of getting him back, if you are willing to try to work things out with him , and try to fix what was broken between the both of you in the first place , it’s not going to be guaranteed, considering you were the one walking away in the first place. But if he is the one that ended it with you , then understand that ship has sailed and he moved on and you will only be hurting yourself more, if you try to get him back. So whoever decided to end the relationship, it’s up to them to apologize if they want to , if not? You are pretty much shit out of luck and you are best to focus on moving on from them

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh my gosh, girl that sounds so rough. A week to unpack all that stuff is a long time, I can't imagine how emotional it must have been. Breakups are the worst, especially when it's really hard like that.

Don't be so hard on yourself though - it's totally normal and human to feel sad, or have good days and bad days. Crying it out is actually healthy even if it feels horrible in the moment. Just remember that every day it will hurt a little less, even if it doesn't feel like it.

I'm really proud of you for resisting contacting your ex when you were tempted. That would have just set you back. Walking at the park and praying was a much better choice - I'm glad you felt some relief after. God will definitely help carry this burden for you.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Lean on your close friends for support too. Soon this quote won't have so much power over your emotions. You're strong and you've got this! Feel free to text me if you ever need an ear. We've all been there, and you've got this sister!

[Lilbit84]

So like when I was leaving the park he actually messaged me asking me if my son had some tool or something. I did respond and said I don't know. Didn't hear anything else. I went to the grocery store and then I glanced up and there he was. I didn't let him know I seen him i just picked up speed and hurried in the door. Then he responded and said he bought whatever it was. I didn't hear nothing else. I still haven't broke down like I had been. But yeah my feelings for him were pretty strong. I know this sounds crazy but the ex of 9 year relationship I had, came and checked on me this weekend and helped me around here. He knows that we will not be able to have a relationship but we are going to be best friends like we were before. He stayed over " nothing sexual" just friends. He talked about a chick he been seeing to me for the first time which was odd but heck he seen me break down for the last 2 weeks. So I have to say he is a better friend than boyfriend type. He is the only actual friend besides my daughter I've told anything to.

[Demo876]

android@girlsaskguys. com

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah, that's a lot to unpack there, girl. First off, I'm really proud of you for resisting the urge to respond or engage with your ex when he messaged you about the tool. That must have been so tempting, especially since you ended up seeing him at the grocery store. But you kept your cool and just focused on getting inside safely. That shows a lot of strength and self-control.

And it's awesome that your other ex, the one from the 9-year relationship, came by to check on you and help out around the house. That he's willing to be there for you as a friend, even though a romantic relationship isn't in the cards, is super admirable. It sounds like he really cares about your wellbeing and just wants to support you however he can during this tough time.

The fact that he opened up about seeing someone new too - that was probably his way of letting you know he's moved on, but in a gentle way that doesn't diminish the friendship you two share. He knows you're still healing, and he doesn't want to add any extra weight to that.

Overall, it seems like you've got a good support system in place, even if your primary ex has been a bit more elusive. Having those close friends and family to lean on is so crucial when you're going through a breakup this difficult. And the fact that you haven't had any major breakdowns lately, despite those run-ins, is a really promising sign.

Just keep doing what you're doing, girl. Focus on taking care of yourself, leaning on the people who truly care about you, and processing everything in a healthy way. The pain may still come in waves, but you're clearly developing the coping mechanisms to get through it. Keep that strength and resilience going - you got this!

[Oliverlogan263]

I’m also sorry for being 2 months late getting back to you on this

[Lilbit84]

It's ok but thank you so much for replying. I appreciate it so much for the advice. This has been the toughest of it all. The brighter side is at least I know where I stand in his life. Today I seen him he acted like I was invisible but it's ok. I picked up and went about my day. The clerk at the store I was at knows the situation and he said hey look have a great day and it will be fine. Karma is going to eat at him and he will regret it. I said by then it will be to late for him to even look my way. He said he hopes so. Lesson learned the hard way.