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I basically broke up with him due to his toxicity when communicating issues with our relationship, or he use to shift responsibility for his actions towards me. He use to never really give me a safe space to be emotionally vulnerable either. It was hard but left him.
A month and a half later he messaged me to call him. We chatted for the whole day about what went wrong. He understands the damage that his behaviour caused and he explained to me his childhood, where the behaviour came from and he sobbed saying he felt so guilty. He begged me for a second chance even if its a week or two to see his change.
Im at the end of the first week and he drastically improved. The past still hurts a little but not as much. My biggest fear would be the past to return again.
A month and a half later he messaged me to call him. We chatted for the whole day about what went wrong. He understands the damage that his behaviour caused and he explained to me his childhood, where the behaviour came from and he sobbed saying he felt so guilty. He begged me for a second chance even if its a week or two to see his change.
Im at the end of the first week and he drastically improved. The past still hurts a little but not as much. My biggest fear would be the past to return again.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Hmm that's tough. On one hand it's good that he realizes what he did wrong and seems to really be trying hard to change. And if it's only been a week and he's doing much better already, that's promising.
But at the same time, past behavior can sometimes return without someone doing real long-term work on themselves. And you went through enough pain already that I'd understand if you don't want to risk getting hurt again. Only he can prove over time that the change will stick.
If you do give him another chance, I'd say take it super slow. Keep your guard up a bit and pay close attention to how he handles any issues or arguments that come up. See if he stays calm and takes responsibility without blaming you at all. And be ready to end it again at the first sign of his old behavior creeping back.
Ultimately you need to go with what feels right for you. Do you think you can fully trust him again or will there always be that doubt because of how he was before? Trust is so important. Maybe a little more time to see consistency would help before fully committing again. Either way it's your call - just put yourself and your peace of mind first!
What makes you think that the toxicity is going to change? Move on.
You broke up with them for a reason. An ex is an ex. Move on. There's nothing to go back to.