How do you get over a breakup that wasn’t healthy?

[Anonymous]

When you simply don’t have the social skills to get another. I really feel like a lot of people think it’s about the girl herself but I had a deep sense of despair because this relationship didn’t occur until 29 that would mean the next relationship probably wouldn’t happen until im 58. This boils down to my autism and not being able to talk to people my social skills are not very good

[MisterWack]

By understanding you deserve better and you are worthy of love, that this relationship was a fluke & a burden that you are lucky to be free of instead of in the endless cycle of toxicity and abuse….

Spend time with the people that genuinely care about you to be able to see there are people in this world that love you for the man / woman you are, that you are capable of incredible things & strong relationship bonds once you put yourself out there after having time to cool off.

Spend time doing a hobby you love, focus on responsibilities like career goals, focus on activities that bring you joy like listening to music, playing your favorite game, hiking, jogging, reading a good lighthearted book, and or watching your favorite tv show / movie / video. Anything to take your mind off of it and focus on the joy in your life, once the joy is back you’ll see how great life is without that negative dark cloud over your head and you’ll be happier.

You are worthy of love, don’t let anyone make you feel like less!

[Asker]

I feel like I lost my only opportunity

[MisterWack]

Woah woah woah, I didn’t know you had Autism.
I have Autism too, to be perfectly clear and openly honest with you. I had a breakup when I was 18…. Using that logic of your math I wouldn’t have a ‘real’ girlfriend until I’m 30+ however I did find a girlfriend who I’m very happy with and makes me the luckiest man in the world. Don’t sell yourself short, there is a woman just dying to meet you and the only way that happens is by standing tall & getting back out there. My advice: Take a break from dating and don’t think too hard about dating, focus on you and your happiness once you are ready go out on dates & meet people! You rock!

[KrakenAttackin]

You have to take time to process it and be much more careful with women moving forward.

[Asker]

But honestly at this point it probably isn’t realistic to happen again

[Simslover92]

You focus on what you can change which is yourself. Start reading self-help books, start practicing being more social by participating in social activities, and work on your mental and physical health. I know it's hard when you have autism but you have to try. Whatever hobbies you love doing, find ways to make it more social. Like for instance if you like drawing, go to an art class. If you like writing, go to a writing workshop. If you like reading, join a book club. The possibilities to be more social are infinite.

[MoonFace2]

I’m autistic too. Being neurotypical doesn’t make you any more or less likely to find someone than being mildly autistic does. Some of us meet the right person, others don’t. Like I said to one of my Autistic guy friends, it’s better to be alone than miserably married to the wrong person.

[Asker]

How should I move forward after this

[MoonFace2]

Do what everyone does, NT or Autistic. Have a cry in private, talk to your parents about it and take a break from dating. I would suggest that you’re probably grieving the loss of your relationship. Your only issue is stereotyping yourself as an Autistic.

I am mildly Autistic and it does complicate things social skills wise, but it doesn’t change your emotions.

When you’ve completely moved on and you’ll know when you have, when the pain is gone, get back out there for dating. You can do this. Treat women you date as a friend, but do extra things like flirting (compliments about looks, touch her shoulder at the movies, etc). Don’t be afraid to go for the kiss on date two.

I’ve been basically single for six years. I’ve only just met someone recently.

You can meet women through tafe or university or college, hobby courses, languages, dance, yoga, religious worship groups, through friends and on dating sites.

I suggest also having a fling before dating again. I had one that lasted two months.

[MoonFace2]

What country are you from? I am happy to research some autistic social groups and social skills training courses local to your area that could help you

[Asker]

I’m not stereotyping myself I have very poor social skills I don’t even have any friends

[MoonFace2]

Oh I see. Are you interested in social skills training courses for people with autism and social groups? I just recently made friends with several people through said groups.

[Asker]

So I have no social circle and no family

[MoonFace2]

That sucks

[AI Opinion]

Breaking free from a not-so-healthy relationship and feeling all the feels? You're not alone, and sweetheart, it's not the end of the dating road! Focus on your growth and self-love. Building confidence through hobbies and interests can do wonders. Autism or not, people just need to see the real you, and trust me, that you is fabulous! You're like a fine wine, getting better with age. Embrace your quirks, because the right one will too, eventually. Never settle for less, darling! 😘✨

[Nikki1989]

You focus on self-growth, instead of dwelling on the past and worrying about the future.

[Anonymous]

Watch one piece.