I’ve never been depressed as far as I can remember. I’ve always been a happy go lucky person, always saw the positive in life and loved every second of it. 9 months ago I discovered by husband and father of 3 children was gay, and having numerous sexual and emotional relationships with men. This broke me into pieces, I’ve stayed because life would be even more difficult financially with 3 children as a single. They say things feel better in time, but I feel worse as time goes on. I feel emotionless, I feel like everyday I want to cry, or all my insides are crying but I can’t physically let it out. I feel no enthusiasm for a single thing, I get no enjoyment from even being around my children, I’m snappy and unhappy. I can’t eat, I don’t have an appetite, all I want to do is sleep, from the moment I wake up, I just count the hours until bedtime. The house is a tip, and I’ve fallen behind with everything, I’ve been off sick from work since I found out, and tried returning but my mind wasn’t focused and I was making dangerous mistakes. I can’t see a way out and I just want to feel myself again. People will say leave him but I’m scared I’ll feel even more with the worries of bills etc on my own.
On the exact same way as you if something has me down well I'm getting up anyway so it doesn't even matter cuz you're not going to hold me down very long and I'm not going to let anything just beat me up or make me feel a certain way because I'm the only one that can make me feel anyway I'm the only person on the inside of me I'm the only person on the outside of me and so I can either make myself happy or sad I choose happy every single day
If something comes up in my life it makes me feel a certain right I'm going to figure it out and I'm going to acknowledge it and accept it and then let it go there's really not that much time on this planet if you think about it so I want all I can get
They say you can't take it with you that's true who cares about material crap but any type of positive input that I can take with me I don't want to take it with me and I don't have time to just lay around and mope
If I'm going to lay around then I better have a girlfriend and she's laying around with me and it could be for a whole day who knows maybe 2 days but we're not depressed that's for damn sure
So to be honest with you I don't have a clue what it feels like I don't want to know what it feels like I mean I can look at people and I can feel their energy and if they're just down and out and they want to just lay around and mope because they don't feel well or they don't feel like I guess part of life or they're not motivated I say get up and let's go I'll show you how to get motivated just come with me stay with me for 2 days or 3 days by the time we're finished then you can lay down LOL but I'm going to be back the next day and you're going to get your ass back up and you're going to drink plenty of fluids and you're going to eat good and I'm going to make you laugh because I'm so stupid sometime and that's what you have to just go take a shower and get up and do something you can't just sit there and rot that's not what your job is on this in this world your job is to be motivated your job is to love yourself your job is to help other people love themselves and become one with this universe and put all this big puzzle together one by one by one by one00 Reply
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Wow I'm very sorry this happened to you. I've only had depression once when I was overwhelmed with work and got burned out. It basically felt like nothing matters anymore. if good or bad things happen to you, you don't care. If you'd get hit by a car you wouldn't care. I had thoughts of slitting my throat at the place where I worked that was the only thought that made me feel anything anymore. I didn't do it because I knew it was just because of the stress and I knew my life could still get better, but that's how I felt in that moment.
Maybe you have to talk to him about separation maybe he can still help you with raising the children when you're separated he owes you after what he did to you. At least talk to him about it and ask him how he envisions the future of this situation. Your options in dealing with the situation depend on how cold hearted he is. If it was a mistake and he feels bad for what he did to you then maybe there's a solution if he just doesn't care about you or the kids at all then it will be difficult.
00 Reply
It's crossing the road without looking.
It's watching your house burn down and standing a little to close to the flames.
It's paying attention to details because the bigger picture doesn't seem to exist.
It's worrying for yesterday, because you might not witness tomorrow.
It's feeling sunlight hit your skin and wondering if the warmth will last.
It's asking for directions, when there's no destination you're heading towards.
It's standing in a corner, and wondering if you take up too much space.
It's knowing you are welcome, yet giving the wrong address for an invitation.
It's being at a silent disco, yet you're the only one without a headset.
It's not just a feeling of sadness or pain or loneliness. It's every single emotion pressing down on you like a weighted blanket - making you feel like it's keeping you warm, while in reality - it's slowly suffocating you.
16 Reply- 10 d
Having to contend with four more years of Trump !!!
- 10 d
- 10 d
DEEPLY POETIC
Perfectly described
Detailed appropriately is an understatement
Contextualized magnificently.
Highly insightful
Highly perceptive and observant
Conceptualized wonderfully
Highly respectfully typed and considered
Extremely well said
Thank you so much for taking the time to type.
Apologies if you came with this because you’ve had it or had someone close have it.
I personally relate and so I believe you’ve had to have experienced it and given words to it exceptionally well.
Thank you so much for your share. - 10 d
@Rosexøxø
I appreciate the kind words.
It definitely came from experience, I'm doing well now though, all things considered.
It helps to appreciate the shelter of a tunnel, rather than looking for light at the end of it, hah :)
Hugs to you though, for whatever crosses your path, I hope the results align with your desires :) <3 - 10 d
Even we Canucks can't escape Trump's clutches, as our economy is intertwined with America's !!!
- 11 d
Well you sound like you have depression.. I would say why not talk to your husband about a relationship where you stay together for the kids but you see other people so you can find someone to love you but you still keep the same dynamic and financial help from your husband and you don't have to be romantic together.
10 Reply
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24Opinion
- 12 d
I’m not ashamed or embarrassed to say that I suffered from crippling anxiety and low mood so I have only a taste of what depression felt like. To sum it up in three words it is inescapable paralyzing sadness. To offer one piece of advice though. staying in the position your in , although seeming impossible to escape from at the moment due to your mental state and the financial and emotional pressure your under , has only the possible outcome of making you spiral further in my humble opinion. You only believe your trapped because of your state of mind and your will find more and more reason to remain.
Make an appointment with a doctor and discuss openly how your thinking and feeling and take the first step to getting better.
I’m so sorry for what has happened to you but you need to pick yourself up and push yourself. You didn’t deserve this but it’s nobody’s fault and you can and will be happy again
This too shall pass !!00 Reply - Anonymous(30-35)10 d
It feels like everyday you’re carrying this heavy weight. A heavy heart. And when you look around and get through the day to day, I kid you not… it was like one day, when I finally felt like I was pulling out of it, it was like I was seeing color for the first time in years.
It’s like the dreariest rainy/winter day, where everything around you just appears gray and brown and gross. And like I said, one day, I was pulling into my neighborhood with a vibrant song playing, and the sun came out. And life around me just appeared so lush again and full of color. And I didn’t realize that everything felt so dead to me for so long until everything felt so alive again.
00 Reply A heaviness. Wanting to give up. I thank God he has healed me from depression. I was diagnosed severely depressed my entire teenage and young adult life. I was healed a few years ago. I'm 32. Read the Bible spend time with God -if- your interested in what happened to me to happen to you. Much love♡
10 Reply- 11 d
depression in general is when you're sad about something and you're so sad about that that it inhibits your function in society or day to day life. in a clinical sense, depression means the same except there's no objective reason for you feeling that way. like for example it's normal to feel depressed for quite some time after let's say your mom or dad passed away. but if you feel that bad and actually nothing happened, that's when you're clinically depressed.
10 Reply - 11 d
Wow. I am really sorry you are dealing with this. Seriously I am. And given your devotion to your children I give you the ultimate respect considering how you are trying to deal with this
Have you gotten professional therapy on how to best deal with this?
00 Reply - 12 d
That be it. Life throws some curve balls and that a big one for anyone.
Trust, vulnerability derailed so you went into foght flight freeze. Normal.
Way out is well known…
As you work out of this you may find greater truths essential to your next chapter.00 Reply - 12 d
Just like you described it. Feeling empty like watching paint dry. Everything is a chore, just getting out of bed is a rare milestone in your week. No energy left to do even the easiest tasks...
20 Reply - 11 d
Losing Yourself Slowly
Feeling Dead Inside
roaming like a ghost
In Ur former self old life
Except with numb emotions
That lets all the pain in
Then Shuts all the love out
A lonely cycle of
caring less but crying more11 Reply It's nothing nice try to do things to keep occupied I don't go out with the guys because I'm not gay the gals seem to be extorted kept prisoner way too much bad things not wanna explain have guys around just makes me angry they force others to do things not wanna do and we have our limits
00 ReplyFortunately, I have absolutely no idea , I've been sad ( as one should be ) life is never just one flat line , some make the mistake of confusing the two.
Never been depressed , genuine depression cannot be cured by taking a pill.00 Reply799 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic. A lot of nothing -- no desire, ordinary tasks seem large.
10 Reply- 10 d
I think you're just being a f*****.
00 Reply - Anonymous(25-29)10 d
It’s not a feeling, it’s just a biproduct of a combination of laziness and lack of discipline, and you fall into it and then give it a name and label, and start blaming all of your misfortunes sadness, etc on it.
11 Reply- 8 d
It's literally a chemical imbalance in your brain.. not just someone who started being lazy and got sad.
- 10 d
It is a feeling of emptiness, boredom, when there is not even a light at the end of the tunnel, when there is no hope, no faith, and no love...
00 Reply You should be able to get child support and possibly alimony also, especially if you have proof of him cheating or being gay.
00 Reply- 11 d
That’s what depression is. How you feel right now.
10 Reply 481 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic. Depression feels like emptiness. No desire to do anything, even things you love doing.
10 Reply- 12 d
Like you have no ambition, you don't feel like getting out of bed, it's hard to maintain happiness, everything seems pointless, nothing seems worth doing, what you used to enjoy doesn't seem fun anymore.
00 Reply 1.2K opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic. Persistent sadness, emptiness, anxiety, hopelessness, guilt, worthlessness, irritability.
00 Reply382 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic. This nonstop
https://www.youtube.com/embed/GQBrg9_bO4Q00 Reply502 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic. Imagine losing motivation for everything. Nothing gives you dopamine. You could win the lottery and feel nothing.
00 Reply- 12 d
I’m feeling it now. It sucks. Even anti press ants don’t help much with me. Can with others though
00 Reply I'm sorry to hear that you are in this situation I've been in pieces before myself message me I may be able to help you see this out of you want
00 Reply- 11 d
That sounds like depression, a life void of any joy.
00 Reply - 10 d
It feels like helpless.. endless sleeping and mood down forever.
00 Reply Never been don't know how does it feel like
00 Reply- 10 d
It feels like saltpeter reacting with charcoal.
00 Reply Nothing is fun or elicits excitement, everything is a chore, hopelessness
00 Reply341 opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic. Nothing. Zilch. Emptiness.
00 Reply- u9 d
like a void
10 Reply - Anonymous(36-45)11 d
It feels very bad :(
00 Reply Not enjoying things you enjoy doing.
00 ReplyHopeless
00 ReplyA lot of sadness
00 Reply
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