How do I get back at an emotionally abusive neglectful man who thinks he has all the power all the time and who has deeply hurt me?

[Anonymous]

Please don’t tell me to move on and that is the best revenge because I plan on doing that as I heal. I just think he needs some bad karma or whatever you’d like to call it.

He gets the best of everything and puts on a show for everyone except me and his family who he treats like trash.

[Anonymous]

God may not intend for you to be the one who enacts karma and instead you should use this as a learning experience! Take accountability for being with this emotionally abusive and neglectful man long enough to be in this place now! I know the signs were there and I know things happened that you made excuses for or dismissed. He was a choice! Learn from this huge mistake.

[Asker]

Yes. I met him when I was in my teens and had children very young with him which means I didn’t exactly know or I wasn’t able to realize this because I was a child myself. Now I’m stuck essentially.

[Asker]

I met him when I was 15

[Asker]

He has also changed a lot as a person (for the worse). I think he has never emotionally matured yet I have for the most part. Although I must not have matured very much because I stayed with him and continued this mess for years. He’s basically another child to me. He’s responsible as far as having a job and providing for us but everything is shit to be honest.

[Opinion Owner]

Please understand you are never stuck. You are only stuck in the sense that you can’t get up and go today or tomorrow. Unless you have someplace else to stay then yeah, it would take some time to get your stuff together. But if in your heart you know it’s necessary for you and maybe even the kids to leave at this point in time then you can do it. You can’t heal from a single thing while you’re still living with him, in a relationship with him. You can’t imagine a future without him either when you keep telling yourself all the reasons you have no other choice. You have a lot of history and it won’t be easy but hard changes are part of life. Time to face the hard fact that maybe you have grown apart and there’s no more excuses to be made for his person. Maybe now your growth and life as an adult is meant to be with someone else.

[Flower7]

How can someone be both neglectful and emotionally abusive? Those seem like opposites.

[Asker]

Yes they can. He ignores me and my needs which makes him neglectful, but when he does interact with me it’s mostly calling me bitch, whore, slut, ho, regard, etc. he treats me terribly.

[Asker]

He’s good to me sometimes….. we have sex but he’s not really present I feel and will intentionally ignore me and treat me bad. He threatens me and doesn’t care about my needs. That means he’s both emotionally abusive and neglectful.

[Asker]

He calls me retard* not regard

[Flower7]

Are you still together?

[Asker]

Yes technically. Although it feels the relationship has been over for a long time.

[Staximus]

You could try getting as far away from him as possible for starters, instead of tolerating this abuse. By tolerating the abuse you are accepting it and telling him that his behavior is acceptable to you.

[In_Trance]

revenge is small dick energy. Move on

[jahaims]

Grow up and cut ties