A "relationship" just ended. Any good distraction techniques?

[Anonymous]

So I've posted very frequently about this situation i was in. Turns out he did like me and stuff but go figure valentines day bullshit, we couldn't hang out cause he had plans with his buddies. I was left on delivered for over 15 hours and he finally texted me saying sorry. Well now we can't hang out cause he connected with a long time old friend and so he said it happened unexpectedly but like you have a choice to choose and decide and hell I've liked a guy 5 years, we started talking but the feelings weren't there. Anyways I think I genuinely starting like really falling for this guy, like I'm talking like loved him and i was so fond of him and everything of that bullshit feelings stuff.

I guess what are good things to distract with? Cause we work together and go to college together too, so i love life so much right now.

[HollyK21]

Focus on your hobbies, friends, family, work and school. When you have weak moments, remember why you’re having to go through this now. You can’t get over him if you keep hitting the restart button, so really try committing to moving on this time.


You have a great motivation right now with how Valentine’s Day went. It’s already bad enough that this guy shows you no love or effort, he just had one day to do something different and he chose not to. I’m not sure how you can still want a person who so very clearly demonstrates that you are not a priority nor does he want to be with you, which is why I say to use yesterday as motivation. In fact use his lack of effort and recovering your own self worth in general as motivation also.

[Asker]

Valentines day is definitely a good start, I just can't shake off the feeling that I've never truly felt this way about a person, despite being in other relationships, I just want it to be a joke. I appreciate your comment and insight very much, thank you. 🥲

[HollyK21]

No problem, when you think about it at 19 you haven’t had many experiences with men. You’ve been in other relationships but those were what, like in high school? A lot of those guys were immature and those situations hardly worth calling relationships when you think about it. This dude probably stands out because he’s the first “adult” crush. I’m sure he’s a nice guy and you wanna cut him slack, but let me just say you can do a lot better. He may seem like he’s got his shit together or a lot more mature, but he’s not, I think you’re just caught up in a first experience. There are much better men out there, who you don’t have to chase and who will do what they know you’re expecting them to on holidays like this. Don’t settle for this guy who has no respect for your time and no desire to give you so much as half the effort you put in. You’re much more valuable!

[Asker]

Thank you very much, I really needed to hear that quite a bit!

[DishLady]

There's no distraction that's going to work 100%. You just need to be strong and take this shit day by day. It may take a while. Figure on 1.5 weeks for every month you've been together (on average) to allow your heart to mend. Try not to do anything stupid like F**K another guy just to shake off the memory of the first guy. No bueno...

[Asker]

I definitely am gonna take a break, I really do like this guy so much so it's all about baby steps. It all just starts with that gut feeling and you just know :/
Thank you so much for your advise and what not, I really appreciate it

[DishLady]

NP. Hang in there. This too shall pass. We've all been through situations like this...

[Asker]

That is very true, again thank you!

[Anonymous]

Watch your favorite show or read a good book.

[Asker]

Not a bad idea, thank you

[Opinion Owner]

You are most welcome.

[In_Trance]

Focus on your hobbies