What to say to end a quasi-relationship? (Ladies please)

[TexMex1]

We used to date seriously, about a year, before I moved away. The long distance got to her and she ended it by "needing a break". She left it open saying that would like to see how things were when she moved to the same town I was in. She reached out to me several times during the summer. She moved here to my city a couple months for law school and she asked to get together on her second day here. It has been two weeks since and besides me asking on a couple occasions to see if she wanted to get together (we are only separated by 10 blocks). She would say no and have some reason why. She wouldn't offer another time to get together an indicator that tells me that she really doesn't care about getting together or about us.

How do I approach her about ending this? I am not satisfied with this? Do I call or text saying this isn't working out and to call me when you have time to talk or come by the apartment to discuss at length? Everyone here has provided great feedback about what she was thinking about dragging me along during the summer (i.e. her being lonely, etc).

It is time for me to show some self-respect and confidence by confronting this person who has obviously taken advantage of the situation for their personal needs. Sadly I think she will see me in a better light as I actually stand up to her, as I was guilty of being the nice guy.

All advice is welcome! Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Good for you, sir!

Give her a call and say there's something you'd like to speak with her about in person. Assuming she answers your call, follow her cues from there. If she wants more details or if you sense she knows what you're about, I think it'd be fine to end things right there as long as you know exactly what you want her to hear. Make sure you sound unwavering in your decision when you speak to her. Tone of voice [and body language if you meet in person] will speak volumes. You have no obligation to go for the nice route of physically seeing her to end it, especially as she has failed repeatedly to extend you similar courtesy. If you have things you really want to hash out with her, though, then I can see how ending things via phone may not work.

If you have to leave her a message, definitely do not ask her to call you when she has time to talk. It's too open, and it gives her too much room to make another excuse and remain unresponsive. Be assertive in this from start to finish. You can even list a few times/dates that work for you, and ask her to pick one of those options. If none of those work and she doesn't offer any alternatives [or if you don't hear back from her at all within a reasonable amount of time], your next move depends on how much you care to have an actual conversation.

As a last resort in case of no follow-up on her part, I know I'd have no problem sending a nicely written email of doom and calling it done. I don't see how anyone could perceive that as rude at that point - once you've made an effort to connect, enough is enough!

Regardless of how you make contact, plan what you want to say ahead of time, just like you would for any other important presentation/proposal/transaction. That alone will lend itself to a confident approach.

Good luck! You deserve to be treated better. :)

[TexMex1]

I did say wanted I needed to.. I deserve more and more respect.. After the phone call, I did send some mean texts.. Nothing degrading to her.. Just expressed frustration.. I later apologized to her about it.. She appreciated the text later and said that she never said anything bad about us and that if he ever wanted to be friends again she would be here.. How do I respond? Do not respond? Say thanks but as I mentioned before being friends is not possible as I have already experienced too much?

[Opinion Owner]

If you'd like to respond to her, say thanks and leave it at that. It'll tell her that you're standing by what you said earlier while still being polite.

I'm glad you had a chance to express yourself to her. Hopefully now you can close this door and never look back! :)